i need good jokes does any one have any?? it doesnt matter what kind...blond jokes, any kind of jokes..
2007-11-15 12:07:57 · 7 answers · asked by ==>♥♥♥♫§Ħ0®±¥♫♥♥♥<== 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
they can also be yo-mama jokes..=]
2007-11-15 12:15:14 · update #1
THE BATHTUB TEST
It doesn't hurt to take a good look at yourself from time to time, and this should help to get you started.
During a visit to a mental hospital, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be admitted.
"Well," said the director "we fill up our bath tub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor "a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Would you like a bed near the window?"
2007-11-15 12:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by jasmine d 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
or I have.....
Q .. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A .. I'll tell you tomorrow.
Q .. Why can't the blonde make ice cubes?
A .. She lost the recipe.
Q .. How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it?
A .. With a thought.
Q .. Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A .. The noise gave her a headache.
Q .. How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work?
A .. She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.
Q .. What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A .. Perri-air.
Q .. Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A .. Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q .. When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A .. When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q .. Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A .. She missed.
Q .. What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A .. Data transfer.
2007-11-15 18:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a plane crashing with 3 para shoots, The President of the United States, The World's Smartest Man, The Pope, and a Hippie in the plane. The president says" I'm the president of the U.S, I deserve to go first!". So, they give him a para shoot and he jumps out. The Pope says" I am the pope! I deserve to go next!". So, they give him an para shoot and he jumps out. The World's Smartest Man says" I am the world's smartest man! I have a lot to offer to the word!". So he jumps out. The pilot come to the back and sees the hippie putting on a para shoot. The Pilot says" I thought there were only 3 para shoots?". The hippie says" There were, The World's Smartest Man jumped out with his bookbag."
Another one:
A lady was driving in the middle of nowhere in the desert, she sees an indian about 4 ft. tall on the side of the road and thinks" I need to pick that lady up and giver her some company." So, she pulls over and says" Need a ride?" The indian lady grunted and got in. The indian sees something in the front, and says" What is that?" Then the lady says "Oh, that is just wine i got for my husband." Then the indian girl said"That is a good trade"
LOL. Hope you like em'.
2007-11-15 12:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by Stephen Colbert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok that's my accepted whether that's notably undesirable :) Q. what's orange and feels like a parrot? A. A carrot :) hehe Q. What to the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? A. look grandad no palms :) Q. what's brown and sticky? A. A stick :) Q. Why are pirates referred to as pirates? A. because of fact they aaarrreee Q. what's gray and has a trunk? A. A mouse occurring holiday Q. what's brown and has a trunk? A. A mouse coming back from holiday :) :) desire you a minimum of smiled :)
2016-12-16 10:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a man is walking on a beach he sees a women with no arms or legs crying he walks up to her and says why are you crying the women says because she has never been kissed before so the man picks her up and kisses her as he walks away he hears her crying some more so he walks back over to her and says why are you still crying and the women says becasue ive never been f*cked before so the man picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says now your f*cked.
2007-11-15 12:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo mama so fat, that when she diagnosed for the flesh-eating disease, her doctor gave her eight years to live...
or...
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshiper, he sold his soul to santa...
2007-11-15 12:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by EdwinRool'd 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
why did tigger look down the toilet?
He was looking for pooh!
2007-11-15 12:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋