children in care?

Question

my oldest son lives with his nan, my daughter is in foster care, and my son has been adopted, there mother didnt want them, she told many lies bout me, i hit da drink very hard and couldnt stop, i also turned t drugs, amphetamine, extascy. i got clean and soba 2 year ago, ive now got an 18 month old son by a different woman, he is not under any social services, will my other children be able t forgive me for not tryin t get them back but choosing the drink/drugs instead, but now im living with my fiancee and my youngest son, will they resent my youngest son, because he gets t live with his dad and they dont.

been there done that, wat crap d u talk, i see my oldest every weekend, i see me daughter every 2 weeks my other son being adopted i dont c at all, i think you need t think b4 u speak.

berly tea i was there till my oldest was 4 years of age, dats wen they went into care, coz me and her split up, and i wouldnt take her back, she gave them up, we were not married so i never had any rights.

my older son and daughter now ive got another son, my oldest sees him regular, my daughter never seen him, dat down t social services not me, i think i should of wrote my ? more clearly for every1 t understand, soory.

ultimate, your words are very true,

tanja im doin exactly that, i really feel that no 1 really understood my question. i see my older 2 children, only my 3rd born son i dont see and never will till he 18.

also i fighted till da bitter end over my 3rd childs adoption, his mum signed all papers, i refused i went threw for near on 6 months, my solicater told me that i wouldnt win and may aswell let him go , i refused i went till the end , fighting a losin battle, but i thought i rather lose trying.

Answer 1

i know what your going though but don't you feel you should fight to get them back, as long as they know that your doing the best you can to get them back , why would they be unhappy, I'm doing my best to get mine, my son is p.g.o and i will get him back no matter what they say.
they are suppose to be Tirng to put family's back together right!

Answer 2

Robert,

I am so sorry for what you went through. You took the easy way and turned to drugs but you did the hardest thing anyone on drugs has to do, YOU ADMITTED YOU HAD A PROBLEM AND YOU GOT HELP.

The best thing for you to do is try to find them. I am not sure how old they are or what not, but you need to talk to them. Even if they hate you in the beginning they will come around. You have to stand firm, and no matter what they say to you, always keep telling them that you love them, let them know you understand them being angry, that you want to fix things. That you know you can't take back time but you want to start fresh. Let them know that because you have been gone so long that you understand if they don't want to call you dad (and they may not but you will have to accept this in the beginning).

Once everything is out in the open and you have proved yourself they should come around. Trying is the best that you can do. You got better and that is what matters, and trying to reconnect is the best thing.

Good luck and hope this helped.

Answer 3

I believe that your kids will eventually forgive you for being an addict. Also, I believe that your kids won't resent your youngest son for living with you. Depending on how old they were when they were put into foster care or adopted, they may not remember you at all. Also, your oldest son, depending on what the family has been saying about you, may have any kind of feeling about you.

You can never make up for what you have done, but you might as well do your darnedest. I suggest doing so by taking care of your youngest as well as you can.

Answer 4

Yes I'm sure they will. When you became sober you should have tried to rekindle your relationship with them (if that was possible) instead you decide to make another family and do right by them instead. I commend you for finally getting your s**t together but you should have considered the feelings of your other children also Good luck and congrats on the sobriety

Answer 5

its happens... all to much but it does
at least you are starting fresh and clean and sober
the worst thing you can do is not try and mend it with them

my friends dad left them (she is in forster care) and now she found out that he has a new wife and kids and she is shattered!
she keeps wondering y her dad would be a dad to them but not to her

PLEASE take the right steps to get in contact with them and start a new CLEAN fresh relationship with your kids
they deserve it
THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG they do not deserve to be pushed aside

BE A MAN
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
PLEASE take it from someone who knows 1st hand how hard it is for the kids!!!(through my friend)

Answer 6

honestly they probably don't think about it since you've never been around...I don't mean that harshly.When they are bigger they will ask and if the people that care for them truly do care for them then they will tell them about you.They will have plenty of questions but as long as you are honest with them and let them know you love them-I mean really show them-then they will love you too.I don't think they would resent your little one-but all kids are different.They will get over it -time heals all wounds.Goodluck my dear.

Answer 7

why don't you try and see them ask your new partner how she would feel there your flesh and blood to i would never forgive you but they might if you have turned your life around but you have got to prove it to them hope you get to see them in foster thats bad man.