One day, a group of scientists get together and decide that they no longer need God. So they decide to go to God and tell him that they no longer need him.
When they tell him the news, God says "Why do feel that you do not need me anymore?"
"Because we have developed cloning technology, and are perfectly capable of sustaining our own existence now." Replied one of the scientists.
"O.k" Said God "Lets have a man-making competition to see who can make the best man, but one condidtion, we have to make a man the same way I made Adam, from the Earth itself."
"Alright" Said the scientist, and bent down and scooped up a handful of dirt.
"No no no no!" Said God "Get your own dirt, that's mine!"
2007-11-15 09:44:38 · 25 answers · asked by Vivi 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yeah, well I like this one better!
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
2007-11-15 09:51:58 · answer #1 · answered by PRS 6 · 9⤊ 1⤋
Cute.
Of course. Every bit of dirt. Every atom on the face of this earth and in every body was once formed in an exploding star. (as that's the only way the universe has figured out how to make heavy elements)
2007-11-15 17:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by Morey000 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I've heard that before and always loved it. A nice reminder that no matter how great we become as a species, we're still working with God's materials.
2007-11-15 17:52:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I've heard this one too. See Christians and atheists can share a sense of humor!
2007-11-15 18:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by sparty035 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, for some reason I didn't find that funny, and I'm not a prude, I can laugh at myself, but I just didn't think it was all that funny.
2007-11-15 17:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by Moxie! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I prefer the one about moses stood on the mount saying to god, "Let me get this right, you want us to cut half our dicks off???" Or "I don't care what your name is, stop walking on my swimming pool"
2007-11-15 17:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if God is imaginary, thank God for imagination!
2007-11-15 21:03:47 · answer #7 · answered by wise1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute. I liked the bear one too.
Debbie
2007-11-15 17:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by debbiepittman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no way thats the Flying Spaghetti Monster's dirt!!
2007-11-15 17:53:51 · answer #9 · answered by ~I wish you could smile~ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Too bad Adam was the best he could do; a henpecked husband who foolishly listened to his mate, and one of his sons murdered another.
2007-11-15 17:49:00 · answer #10 · answered by Captain Cod 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋