I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 33. We've been together for over 6 years and have a house together. He's getting older and won't come out and say he wants a kid, but he has dropped so many hints and one day I said we could have one and he was grinning ear to ear. Sometimes I want one and other times no. I still have time, but he doesn't want to be an old man by the time the child graduates highschool, I can understand. I'm about to finish a degree in school and finally start a real job so I just don't know if I want to stop now and have a kid. He is an engineer and could support us, but will I regret a later start on my career if I have a kid? I also don't want to let my youth pass me by and get older and wish I had had children. So, opinions anyone? I would appreciate it. And, yes, we would probably get married before having any children....
2007-11-15 09:07:12 · 16 answers · asked by Laura 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The degree will be finished in May. Just to clarify. = )
2007-11-15 09:12:10 · update #1
I didn't have kids til my late 30's and wish all the time that I'd started earlier, just because of the physical strains. Most of the parents of my kids' friends are much younger, too, so we don't have a lot in common with them.
BUT...there's so much to be said for experiencing time together and traveling and being free before making the parenthood commitment. You may regret it if you don't pursue the education and the career. It will be a lot harder to go back to it after taking years off for the kids.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
2007-11-15 09:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by mamarat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is all about what you want to do. I am 23 and have a 3 and 1 year old. We got married early and wanted to have kids. I was able to jump right back into my school and I now have a great job. I even stayed at home with my children until my son was 3 months and then i started working. It wasn't always easy, my husband supported us while I finished school. But we mad it through it we both have great jobs, our own house and two great kids. You can do your school and career and have kids, many of us do it! Remember, his biological clock is ticking and the longer you wait the harder it might be for yall to have a child. Best of Luck
2007-11-15 17:15:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a while longer. Twenty six isn't old. Guess what? Thirty three isn't old, either. You both still have plenty of time. Don't have a child just because one or the other of you wants one. It has to be both of you at the same time, and it has to be consistant, not sometimes yes, sometimes no. My daughter recently had a child. She was 39 when he was born. She's a much better mother than I was, and I had mine so young, I could have been their babysitter instead of their mom. So don't rush motherhood. I am not saying you would not love a baby now, just as much as you will later. But later, you will be much more mature, mellow, and content with yourself, and much, much better equipped to enjoy your child completely. And so will your "getting older" boyfriend. Do a little living for yourself, right now.
2007-11-15 17:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait at least another year. After I finished school it was a bad enough transition from college to corporate and I couldn't image doing it with a child. Plus it gives you the opportunity to work on your career. Even though people wont say it but probably wouldn't like the fact that you to go on maternally leave so soon.
Or just see if your boyfriend is willing to let you stay home for the next year. And a ring wouldn't hurt either!!!
2007-11-15 17:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by Keetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you would probably get married, has this even been discussed? I would hope that most people would talk marriage before kids. Do you believe that he is the one you want to be with for the rest of your life? If you don't get married are you prepared to raise the child(ren) by yourself.Is this what YOU want?.Before making your decision why not babysit for a friends child for a month,to get the feel of parenthood, he may change his mind. remember when you go out you either have to take them with you or get a sitter
2007-11-15 17:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by wolfettegail 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you seriously need to talk this out. Tell him you want to finish school but maybe you guys could start trying now since sometimes it takes a while to get pregnant. You really need to talk to him about it. It he denies it say that you know he wants one and say you want one too but you just don't know if you are ready right now. Either way good luck.
2007-11-15 17:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wait for the "right time" it will never come. I say wait until you have been at your new job for a few months, then start trying. There are plenty of working mothers out there. Children are the best part of being an adult!
2007-11-15 18:50:18 · answer #7 · answered by honeybear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you guys know when it is right but you can ot forget the older you both are the higher chance you have of birthing a special ed child....meaning more work and care on your part.. my sister in law has down syndrome and i work in special ed so i know how it is.... it is not likely but over 30 the chance almost doubles.... 90%+ will never be able to live on their own with out assistance (i am 99.9999% none of the kids i work with will but i am sure there are some out there- none of them look disabled either!)--- just something to think about and research if interested. oh and just so you know you are never really ready for mother hood until you feel your baby inside you and you hold him/her for the first time!GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DECISION!!!
2007-11-16 00:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish college and get your degree. You can get that glamourous job any time. Have you a baby or two, find a great babysitter and have your job and your happy husband! And live happily ever after... Best of luck!
2007-11-15 17:19:29 · answer #9 · answered by Amy G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish that degree! Get married! Get a good job! Get pregnant and have a little one. It's fine to have them at 37 if you wanted!
2007-11-15 17:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by \Nico/ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋