I have lived with my fiance for three years. We have always had a great sex life. Now it only happens once a week, if that. I have complained, I have hinted, I have walked around half naked...nothing. I am in good shape (dancer-modern, not exotic) and used to be a model. I have not changed physically since we started dating. Our relationship seems to be fine but he is just not interested in that one thing. Is he cheating? Is he having second thoughts? I feel terrible because I would never go elsewhere but I feel like he is not concerned with what I need. Any advice?
2007-11-15 09:01:57 · 24 answers · asked by Tink 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey Tink. I may have to anser your question by posing a few others. Is his newfound disinterest in sex the only thing that you have noticed in his behavior lately? There are other tell-tale signs that you can search for. For example, have his hours suddenly changed at work? Is he working earlier or later than he used to? Is he "hanging out" out more than usual with the guys? Is he smelling freshly showered after a long day at the office? If the answer is no to these questions, then his current infrequencies may be physiological. How old is he? I hope this helps.
P.s keep up the good work on staying sexy and in shape. You sound very hot! (wink)
2007-11-15 09:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by blklightz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at this point, you could take the easier road and ask him. It could be any number of things, none of which any of us has the power to know.
Could be cheating, but if he has been faithful before, and in other things, why start cheating now?
Could be depression
Could be drinking/drugs
Could be low testosterone
Could be stress
You've lived together three years, and he is your fiance. So I am guessing that in some point in the last 6 mos to a year he has asked you to marry him, and you have set a wedding date.
Do not marry him until you know why this is happening. And the best (and only real) source is him. So choke down a stiff drink (only stiff thing in the house?) and go ask him.
Good luck!
2007-11-15 09:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. Relationships change over time. Just because it's not happening on a regular schedule...Doesn't mean that he's cheating. This happens to married people and though in long term relationships that live together. Just use this time to rediscover yourself. You are an interesting person and have probably been ignoring some of your friends or interest to spend time with him. Now is the time to get reacquainted with Friends and love ones that you've been ignoring.
Don't push things. This will pass with time. Especially when he sees that you have a full schedule without him in it and that others find you interesting.
2007-11-15 09:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have advice. Please do not marry this man! It will be the biggest mistake of your life. If you are having these kind of problems now it will only get worse. It's probably a sign for you to move on. There are reasons why he would stop having sex with you but none of them are good. I'd flat out ask him because obviously he can't take a hint. Good luck.
2007-11-15 09:11:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I m in the same position...been w my bf 4 3 yrs we used to do it 3 times a day now barely once a week i dont think he is cheating they just love u and they know u know they love u so they think its not important nemore bcuz u guys connect on a different level. Im sure he is not cheating hes just comfortable.
2007-11-15 09:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by Ginger86 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to married life. Take your sex life now, cut that back another 30% and you are now married. You say good shape, does that mean you are the same weight as when you met? Good shape I find means different things. I work out 4 days a week, eat healthy and at 34 weigh less then I did in college. That is good shape. I dont think he is cheating. He also could be addicted to pleasuring himself to internet porn.
2007-11-15 09:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by John L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you try simply asking him what's up? Don't jump to the worst conclusion; he could be completely stressed out at work but doesn't tell you because he doesn't want to burden you. Or he might not be feeling well.
Just ask him. Say you miss the intimacy that you used to have and you want to know what you can do to bring it back. Don't accuse him of anything and try not to make him feel bad, but be genuinely concerned.
2007-11-15 09:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by xK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love how all these women think they know what's going on in a guys head. No he's probably not cheating so jumping to conclusions won't help anything. We get bored sometimes. Sometimes we just have bigger things on our mind. The best thing you could do is ask your man what's going on - not a bunch of women who think they know.
2007-11-15 09:13:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe performance anxiety? Or he is tired of sex and has a lower need for it than you? Or exhausted from working too hard? You could go for counseling with him or try talking it out, but is he not concerned with ANY of your needs or just sex? Are you better off with him or without him?...Ann Landers would say....
2007-11-15 09:12:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just because he doesn't want to have sex as often, doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating on you and doesn't want you anymore.
You should see if there is other substantial evidence to back that up. Like is going out late at night..has he stopped talking to you...etc. But with him not wanting to have sex as often is fishy and not normal. Usually men want to have sex! Ask him about it and see what he tells you.
2007-11-15 09:08:35 · answer #10 · answered by Lynette J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋