I'm just not happy and I don't want to be married. is it so wrong? the wedding is supposed to be in 3 weeks
2007-11-15 07:23:56 · 41 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Better now than at the altar
2007-11-15 07:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 13⤊ 0⤋
Call off the wedding. It's what you want and you'll both just end up miserable if you go through with it. You'll be hurting her as well. While it might be painful to break up with her so close to the wedding, it will be more painful when you live with each other and know you're not supposed to be together. In the end you're saving yourselves each a lot of heartache. It's not wrong to call off a wedding. It's wrong to call off the marriage after the wedding.
2007-11-15 08:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by Rockit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very to hear that. But you do need to tell your husband to be that you are not happy tell him the reason and stuff. Remember the sayings "Honesty is the best policy" well, you need to be honest to him and if you are not really happy nor ready to get married, you cannot marry him. Maybe at this moment you are not ready, you never know somehow at one point to will be ready for this big day. You cant marry someone that you are not happy with, what is the point you will only be misserable all your married life and that is not ho is should be. So just have a heart to heart talk to him I am sure he will understand you. I wish you all be best of luck.
2007-11-16 01:54:42 · answer #3 · answered by RHODELCHRIS76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't want to go thru with it then tell her now...don't wait till the LAST minute (even tho you are pretty close to last minute when it comes to wedding planning) realize that you might lose money in this for deposits etc. Don't make everyone purchase gifts then have to send them back. You need to send out a letter to everyone cancelling the wedding so that they know to cancel their plans to attend. You should never ask someone to marry you or say YES when someone asks you if you are not 110% positive it will work and you will put all you have into it. Marriage is for life and I know there is a lot of divorce out there, but don't put yourself into those statistics. Let your fiance know ASAP!!!!!
2007-11-15 09:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could just be getting a case of 'cold feet' But if really feel it is not the right move - getting married then you need to be honest with her and yourself. That it is not the right move at the moment for you.
Weather you feel it is best to delay the wedding or call it quits - just be honest with her. She may hate you for it now when you tell her but she will be thankful in the long run that you were honest about your feelings towards her.
Good luck and sorry you are in this situation.
2007-11-15 08:07:20 · answer #5 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong, but you have to tell her NOW and I would suggest you volunteer to take the brunt of the costs that will go along with cancelling to make it easier on her.
Believe me, no matter how hard this is going to be for both of you, its better to break off an engagement than a marriage. In the long run you will both come out for the better.
But you MUST tell her immediately, dont drag it out any longer, its not fair to her or you, and please dont say to yourself "Well, I'll just suck it up and go through with it" that's not a good idea either because if you dont love her now and you arent happy now, marrying her will just make you more miserable and you will not learn to love her with time.
Good luck to you.
2007-11-15 08:04:27 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Deanri overstepped her boundaries calling you a jerk.
If you had the realization now that this isn't a relationship that is meant to last your whole life...then yea call it off now, before you actually get married to the lady.
However, try and really see why you are doing this, and of all times, now. Is it because the reality of it has gotten to be too much and you are getting "cold feet?" Or, is it really because you can't see yourself being with this person for life?
You might want to get some counseling quickly, talk it through with your fiance and/or someone you can trust.
Whatever you end up doing, you're in a position where nothing is too late. Maybe a little inconvenient, but not too late.
.
2007-11-15 07:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by mika*mika 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Jeff,
As painful as this may be for you and your intended if you are not happy or feel it is the right thing to do DON'T get married break it off. You need to talk to someone a parent a clergy a brother or a friend because if you are not happy single you won't be happy married you answered your own question you said you don't want to be married. You need to get off this site and talk to the person who is your fiance immediate.
2007-11-15 14:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it marriage itself that you object to? Or is it your girlfriend? I ask because you sound as though you: (a) Are unhappy with wedding stress, or (b) are worried about the marriage. Is it one of those two or is it something about your girlfriend in particular?
Think of it this way: If you weren't getting married, would you stay with your girlfriend? If so, then ask yourself why you're afraid of marriage, talk to your girlfriend and figure out what the problem is.
If you just call off the wedding, you're going to lose your girlfriend. If you don't want to be with her at all, CALL IT OFF. If you would continue to date her but are just feeling unready to get married, TALK TO HER. If you think it's just wedding stress that's making you feel like, "Hell, I don't even what to do this sh*t..." then re-think what's going on, realize that it will be over soon, and stick it out.
2007-11-15 08:10:13 · answer #9 · answered by weirdiscomplimentary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong at all. Marriage is a very serious decision, if you're not 100% certain you want to do this, then it's much better to back out of this now. If you're not happy and don't want to get married, then for your own sake, as well as your fiance's sake, please don't do this.
Having said that, please examine yourself carefully. Make certain you're willing to live with completely cutting off the relationship with your finace here. Make certain that what you're feeling is not simply what we call "cold feet." It's perfectly normal and natural to be nervous before making a decision such as this one.
2007-11-15 12:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - that does not sound like a fun situation. But the best thing you can do is say something NOW while there is still time to reach everyone and cancel. You at least owe it to your fiance to let her know before she is standing at the alter waiting for you - or worse yet after the wedding.
There is never a good time to deliver bad news, but take comfort in the fact that in the long run you are doing the best thing for your life. You deserve to be happy - everyone does including your fiance.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 07:31:13 · answer #11 · answered by Steph T 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋