i just found out my parents wont be involved with my wedding i just got engaged 3 weeks ago tomarrow.they say its a waste of money and time. im not sure how i should go about planning it now kinda confused how everything should work now does anybody have any ideas or have been in a situation like this? btw the reason they wont is i live with him now and they are very religous people and dont believe in living together before marrige.
2007-11-15 06:24:35 · 21 answers · asked by hot*stuff 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i never did expect them to pay for anything i just want them there and be apart of it
2007-11-15 06:45:16 · update #1
Well, if you are able to pay for the wedding yourself, I would look into hiring a wedding planner. They are relatively inexpensive, and will actually pay for themselves in most cases. They can get vendor discounts. If you can't afford that, hit up a local bookstore and purchase "do it yourself" planning books. There are plenty out there.
Another option is to give your parents some time to cool off and see if they'll want to be involved in the planning later on. It is always good to have your family's blessing.
2007-11-15 06:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's really unfortunate - so sorry you have to deal with that kind of situation. While I'm sure that your parents love you dearly and think that their reaction is the correct one, they need to see that all they're doing is hurting you and their future son-in-law. Even if they disagree with your decision to live together, boycotting your wedding is extreme. You don't boycott family members simply because they make decisions you don't agree with (unless that something is harmful or criminal). That behavior does nothing but stir up hurt and cause division. Shame on them. (ok, sorry for the rant.)
So....here's what you do. You plan your own wedding and do everything the way you and your partner want. Go ahead and invite your parents to the wedding. Chances are that they'll mellow out in time. Keep an open mind and an open heart just in case they change their tune. Enjoy the support you get from your fiance and his family, and enjoy beginning your new life together.
2007-11-15 07:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by SE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sit down and plan a budget of what you can afford to save each week. Multiply it by the time you have before the wedding. Then add in your credit cards, if you are willing to use them. That will give you your budget.
Do as much as you can yourselves, cut out some unneccessary and silly things (like favours etc)
Hold your head up high and plan a wonderful and romantic wedding without your small minded parents. One would think if they are religious at all they would be happy that you are fineall making this official. Sounds like they are being hypocrital to me. Go on without them and be proud of it. Invite all you wish to be there and they will either come around and come crawling back, or be embarassed that people are wondering why they are not involved.
It is their loss. You have a right to have a wedding day. Go ahead with it without them. If they choose to come around, great. If they dont.....their loss. Be happy for yourself. Lots of people live together before marriage, you are lucky that your man is not happy with things the way they are and actually wants to get married.
Good luck with your future!
Dont let the turkeys bring you down.
Keep smiling.
2007-11-15 08:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well congrats!!! I just got married a couple months ago and payed for the whole thing. My parents didn't help and neither did his so we payed for it. I really did a lot of research and that helped. I started a year before my wedding and I am so glad that I did. If you want, contact me via e-mail and I will help you with some suggestions or how to find cheap venues, etc... that will help spare all the money that doesn't need to be spent. Good luck (My email is the same as my screen name) And even though you may be upset about your parents decision, what is important is that you are happy.
2007-11-15 06:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by sincere087 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear that your parents are not gonna be part of your special day. I undertand about religious and stuff but they should be happy for you and be supportive. Actually I am getting married nxt yr and practically I have been trying to plan the wedding mostly myself well my partner as well. Its up to you want you want. It is kinda hard that you dont have much help from your family but i suppose its their lost not yours as they will miss the one special time of their daugher's life and it can only happen once in a life time. Good luck for the planning and I do hope that your parents realise that they are making a big mistake of their life to miss your big day.
2007-11-16 02:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by RHODELCHRIS76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this. Your parents are staying true to their beliefs, as I'm sure you knew about a head of time. I hope that in time they will change their minds. I'm much like them, do not like the idea of living together....but guess what? I have a son who is engaged and living with his sweet heart. He knows that I disapprove, but I still love him and her. I will be preforming their wedding!
I know the pain of having a child hate you. My first son, for what ever reason, has not invited me to his wedding! He has a few issues he needs to work out, like threaten my life.....yup just a few. But he is MY son, no matter what the past and present gives us, I always hope for the future. It is my hope that your parents will also take this path. Forgiveness is easy, forgetting is difficult.
Take good care, as you plan your wedding, it is my prayer that your mom and dad can see clearly the wonderful path you and your loved one have chosen. Blessings, Chaplain Debby
2007-11-15 13:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, plan it far off enough so that you have time to get everything done!!
First, get whomever you want as you maid of honor and solidify her as your go to girl.....explain to her the situation and also explain that that means that you will need her help with a variety of activities, moreso than usual bridesmaids...see if she can handle that or if you will need to find someone else.
Second, if you are close at all with HIS family, see if his mother might be willing to help out.....this will also make her feel important and get you two close early on..........
After that it is just deciding on a date, a place, a photographer, flowers, a coordinator or not, a minister, a reception and rehearsal, food and music, and invitations, and a dress for you and the bridesmaids.......
This can all be done very cheaply if you plan way in advance and search for cheaper prices......you may also find that--if you ask--other people in yours and your future hubbys families might be more than willing to help out!! good luck!
2007-11-15 06:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people pay for their own weddings these days, it's very common. Sit down with your fiance and work out a budget or idea that makes sense. I'm sorry that you are having to go through this but the important thing is that you found someone you love and I'm sure that you can work something out that you guys will enjoy. Congratulations.
2007-11-15 06:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OUCH! this is a tough one. ultimately in the end you need to think of what makes you the happiest. Not for the moment but for the whole future. I must say; my father was at my wedding and my mother was not. My father hates my husband and disagreed that we had a child out of wedlock and lived 2gether but was still there for my day because he knew how much I really luved this man. It broke my heart and was very selfish of my mother 2 b so inconsiderate.
On that statement; since the wedding in 1999 i've not seen my mother or father. I am however, very happy with my own family. I realized that if they loved me unconditionally, they would support me in my feelings for love and my future. They should just be there for me all the time, not just when it's convenient for them. It took a while to get through it, but after being with him for 12 years and married for more than 8, I must say; "I'm Happy". think of your whole future, not just tomorrow. good luck on this one and never give up trying to get them to stay involved cuz one day, they may realize it was a mistake to not be supportive.
**try going over and discussing your feelings for this man and your future and that if they love u unconditionally they will support your happiness. w/ parents, this usually works. just not in my case. ;-)
2007-11-15 06:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by Tell It Like It Is! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How very sad--another instance of human cruelty in the name of God. I'm sorry your parents have chosen to take this approach; they may one day regret it, but this doesn't help you right now.
All you can do is plan your wedding in accordance with your desires. Invite your parents (obviously their names can't go on the invitation, just send one to them). Resist any urge you may have to convince them to attend. It's their choice. If they change their minds and decide to attend, then that's great. If not, at least you'll know you did the right thing by inviting them
And best wishes on your marriage!
2007-11-15 08:34:29 · answer #10 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋