how to deal with the love of my life, wanting someone else????

Question

I've been in a relationship for 5 years, living together for 2 years. We've definitely had our share of ups and downs, but I really feel like we're meant to be. A few weeks ago, a woman who works with us started hanging out with us, which I didn't mind, she's fun to be around and we all get a long. Last week, Jay went to her house to watch a football game, (I'm not into sports) and ended up not coming home and would not answer the phone all night long. They said they'd got to drinking and didn't want to drive home. I let it go. Last night she came over with another friend and i ended up going to bed because I had to work in the AM. I came down to them sitting very close on the couch about midnight. I said it was late and she left. This AM when I confronted jay he said he didn't know if he wanted to have sex with her, but that he loved me and wanted to be with me only. This is a five year relationship that I'm not wanting to give up for someone we've known 2 months, help.

Answer 1

Stick by him, you love him, he clearly loves you

don't throw everything down the drain for some stupid weakness of his.

We're all humans so forgive and forget, that is the secret in relationships

don't dwell on it, discuss it thoroughly and ask him what is going on or how he feels, 5 years is a lot so a lot of trust and confidence should be there.

Dont simply throw everything away for a silly rock on the road.

Answer 2

if i were u i would not want to give it up no matter how long i knew the person. and y would he b telling u that he doesn't know if he wants to have sex with her? first of all if u all r in a committed relatioship then he should not even b thinking bout ******* another woman so that 2 me was disrespectful. but still u r 2gether and i would put up a fight and i would come up with some boundaries for that homewrecker cuz she should not b at ur home if ur sleeping **** that and don't b letting him go watch no game by no hoe without u i don't care how much ur not into sports. let him know how u feel and that u would really appreciate it a little respect.

Answer 3

tina, all you need to do is be yourself. if you really like her as your friend, then you should forget about the boy thing. maybe you can start going places without her. that way you won't have the competition, but you can still be friends. sometimes its not good to hang out with the same person all the time anyway. put some variety in your life. this might sound silly because im a guy, but when i was in high school it always seemed like my friends got all the girls and i was the one they came to to tell all their juicy stories. the bottom line is just be yourself, ok. everything will fall into place in the long run.

Answer 4

When you are in a relationship temptation will come along. It is up to the person being tempted to have the will power to stop it. It is really hard to do. But if he really loved you he would not even think twice about having sex with this girl. Some people are weak and give in to temptation. It hurts a relationship but some people get over it. If you really love him, tell him that if going with this new girl is what makes you happy, then go. If he doesn't go then he really loves you.

Answer 5

Stand by your man...It is what you feel and want to do than do it!!! Beware of the negative rants..And address it yes to him and her..Let her know as well that you are not giving him up!! and where YOU stand. Even if the friendship goes to hell...She is crossing the line.

Answer 6

It certainly doesn't sound good. I am guessing that he has feelings for her, but he may not be acting on them. I think its about self-preservation now. You need to decide whether you'd like to leave now or later, but I would leave.

Answer 7

Have a heart-to-heart talk with both of them. Then decide.

Answer 8

go here!

www.barbaradeangelis.com/

http://www.google.com/search?q=relationships&sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGGL,GGGL:2006-40,GGGL:en