I am hosting thanksgiving dinner at my home this year. The problem is that my family is not like it used to be. When I was growing up we were extremely close, out to dinner every friday, family get togethers at least once or twice a month, we would all gather for dinner at my grams a couple times a week for dinner, then as I got older things changed. There are hard feelings, grudges being held, in law problems, nasty attitudes and sarcastic comments, bitterness, and in the midst of it all I have many many cousins that are missing out on what I once had. So my question is this. Is there anything I can do at thanksgiving that can help to open peoples eyes and show them that life is too short. That we should be letting love prevail. A poem, a story an activity, something. Please I need some advice.
2007-11-15 06:14:12 · 9 answers · asked by tking 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Maybe reminiscing on the good times you had together, and how you have been there for each other when there were hard times. Asking them to put those grudges away in the spirit of the holiday and give thanks that you are still allowed another day to have your family together. The power of words is a great thing to use.
2007-11-15 06:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by vruiz16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough question. I depends on the circumstances. Sometimes, when we are growing up, we are left out of the less pleasant interactions or situations between adult family members, and then, when we are grown up, we are made aware of them.
Or there might be family members that don't have the same wonderful memories that you had of family. They might have wanted to be someplace else that whole time, and now that they have the opportunity, they are taking it.
Or there might be some new people (in laws?) that are causing waves, and your once happy family is now having problems because of these people either wanting to do new traditions (which is okay!) or just not getting along.
My suggestion is for you to think about whatever it was you all used to do together when times were good - maybe make reservtations at the restaurant where you used to go out to dinnner every Friday? Try and rekindle some nostalgia in your family members.
Another thing to remember is that the past is gone, however comforting and wonderful it may have been. You can never go back again, there are new people in your family, bringing in new traditions and attitudes, things have happened since then that can't be erased, so things may not be the same way you remember ever again. The good news is that while it might be different, there's no reason why it can't be just as fun for you and everyone else in your family.
Good luck
2007-11-15 15:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its possible... you can always take photos of happier times and make like a little presentation mixed in with a speech. That basically tells them... "hey we're family and there are some people at this table who arnt acting like family and ruining it for everyone". It might work but also keep in mind that it might not work. Its weird how family tends to be nastiest to their own relatives.
If it doesnt work... just keep in mind that you tried. These are grown ppl and sometimes you cant control what they do or say.
Maybe you should get the younger counsins together... the part of the family that doesnt have beef with each other... and have a mini family reunion every Sunday just to get t he ball rolling... you can tell everyone that has an attitude to stay home.
2007-11-15 14:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by nidia j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U can invite them all, saying that it is a getogrther. Even if they all not comimg , again another day u fix it. Make them remembering the olden days by showing some photoes as some one mentioned, u can enlarge them and send to the most hurt member. Most of all we can ask God to move their hearts. I think they will also thinking the same. They may need a break.
2007-11-15 14:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Bharathi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you go into the net and find the poem by Mother Teresa of Calcutta called "The final Analysis". A very wonderful statement, by a pretty special woman.
If you cannot find it, e-mail me and I will take the time to type it out. I would rather you find it ,if you can, though.
2007-11-15 14:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set a good example by being and speaking the best you can and show your best side all the time. All you can do is be your best and say what seems right when you can. If others want to be bad, mean, negative that's their business. Your business is to set a good example.
jim
2007-11-15 14:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All these stuff that you're telling us, tell them instead with a sad music background. Chopin's Raindrop prelude will do the trick~
2007-11-15 15:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by landzai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think when its time for the dinner everyone should speak there mind and find out why is everyone breaking apart its better to get people to speak ther mind
2007-11-15 14:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by skulls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE OLD PHOTOS OF A SIMPLER TIME IN YOUR LIVES. BE QUICK TO CHANGE CONVERSATION IF IT GOES THE OTHER WAY.
2007-11-15 14:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋