I fell in love with my girlfriend, and I thought she was in love with me until today. Everything was great a week ago. Everything that's happened led me to believe she wanted to be committed. She had quit her job, and applied for an internship, but she found out this week that they didn't accept her. So she's been depressed, says her life has no direction, etc... And today she said she didn't know if she loved me or not. I sense that she wants to let me go. She says she's not used to having a "good" relationship and has never been in love before (she's 27, I'm suprised at that), used to being single (even though she hated it), so she doesn't know what she feels. I understand she's unsure with her life, but I don't know why that extends to our relationship. I've only tried to support her and be there for her.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up, neither of us did anything wrong. I love her, but now I'm not sure if she loves me back. It's driving me crazy.
2007-11-15 05:35:55 · 17 answers · asked by redguard572001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she is just upset about not getting the internship shes questioning herself along with the things she has going on in her life give her some time and if need be a little bit of space im sure you guys will be ok
good luck
2007-11-15 05:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gotta tell ya, my man. She sounds confused at this moment because her life doesn't seem to have a good plan. You could invest a lot of time, effort and feelings to support her, show her you're there and that you love her, etc. but it just appears that she has a lot of issues (27, no long term bf, hates being single, etc.) and I don't think you can truly help her. It seems that the issues you face have been ruining her relationships all her adult life.
My suggestion: accept the fact that breaking it off for at least a little while may be what she needs, then sit her down, and explain you're confusion. Get her to talk and say what's on her mind. Don't be a 'guy' and try to solve all her problems as she says them; apparently girls hate that. Then politely ask her if she needs time alone, time off from the relationship. If yes, be her friend but back off and let her call you. If no, then you'll have to have many more conversations, and you will really need to roll up your sleeves and get dirty trying to help this girl get her life in order.
2007-11-15 13:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by jirocpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going through a hard time, and sometimes when people go through hard times they take them out on the people closest to them. She may feel that having you in her life right now is an added stress-(I would not ask her again about if she loves you or not) give her some time to figure things out. Don't push, and let her know you will do anything to help her. I am sure in a few weeks when things calm down and she realizes this is not the end of the world, things will go back to normal.
I know its driving you crazy, but I would avoid adding any stress to her life right now. Good luck!
2007-11-15 13:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by miss23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor and step back from this relationship. At 27 years old, she's never been in love, is that what she's questioning? Her own feelings? She's a very confused girl. She seems to be impulsive too, quitting a job before she knew she had the internship. Her actions seem irrational to me. And she's taking her disappointment out on you. If you truly love this girl and it turns out she stays with you, be prepared to be the whipping boy whenever things go wrong for her because she doesn't seem to be able to handle disappointment very well. I would expect this kind of behavior from someone much younger.
2007-11-15 13:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by danniemarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression can cause a person to doubt and be insecure about just about everything in their live- even things they KNOW are good. I think perhaps you just need to give her time to reassess what she's going to do, now that the internship didn't work out and she has no job. She was thrown for a loop and you got sucked into the whole negativity vacuum with the other stuff.
2007-11-15 13:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's depressed, you are smart enough to realize this so good for you. When a person suffers from depression they may do things that sabotage the good things in their life...it's a symptom of the depression.
I would let her know you love her and help her through the depression by suggesting she see her doctor about it to seek the help she needs.
Don't think that she doesn't love you based on what she says while in such a low mental state...she is unhealthy right now. Just be a quiet supporter, a shoulder to lean on, and a strength to her until she gets the help she needs.
2007-11-15 13:42:29 · answer #6 · answered by Beth S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, the way i see it, she is just confused about what she wants out of life. first, you need to give her some alone time, i dont mean leave her, and never call, just go somewhere for a couple of days, make sure she knows that she can call you if she needs ANYTHING. second, call her 2 or 3 times a day just to check in on her and see how things are going for her. third, if she has a problem or something, let her know that you will do anything for her, as long as it makes her happy, (considering its not some insane request), and just let her be herself for a couple of days...after that, you can start seeing her again. ask her if she still wants to continue your relationship or if she needs to be alone; let her choose, dont put any ideas into her head. and if she still wants to be with you, then you will know. Hope everything works out between you two.
2007-11-15 13:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by paul_logsdon2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your girlfriend. I have been going through some things and i have felt that my life had no direction. I have found that everytime things went wrong in my life I took it out on my boyfriend. I felt like since i cant be happy career wise why should i be happy in a relationship. So everytime something was to happen i would go to him and question our relationship. I would tell him i wanted to break up because i felt like he didnt care. But he really did care i was just so hurt and felt like i could never have anything good happen to me. But good thing my boyfriend is like you he was very patient with me and he just stuck by me no matter what. It not you or your relationship. Its probably just she feels like nothing good ever happens to her and maybe she is afraid that something disappointing may happen with you two, shes is going through a difficult time to where she feels like her world just fell apart, she feels confused and disoriented. Dont give up on her just help her to realize that what you two have is something good and maybe even solid and that you are there for her no matter what, Just keep encouraging her through this time. It may be tough on you, if she is worth it just stay strong she will realize eventually. I know i have and my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years.
2007-11-15 13:51:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can be happy in a relationship unless they are happy with themselves too. Just give her some time and a little space to work things out in her own personal emotions/feelings towards your relationship. I believe everything happens for a reason and even if your relationship does not "work out" then it will not be the end of the World for you and it just was not meant to be.
**Although I do wish you the best of luck!**
2007-11-15 13:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Fun Lovin Chick♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont know your girlfriends exact background or situation but sometimes its at that age where you begin to think -what have I done with my life and why is it nothing like I wanted it to be? She needs to have time on her own to explore what she really wants from life and needs to do it alone. Try a trial separation where she can figure out things and if you're still a part of her future she'll figure that out too.
2007-11-15 13:41:07 · answer #10 · answered by radiancia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋