Taking his last name?

Question

How many of you ladies plan on keeping your last name and hyphenating his? I want to do this...my last name is Devine and his is..well..obviously if you've noticed my screen name, Hubbell..

I like Chesney Devine-Hubbell
but i dont know how much of a pain it is to do this.

Chesney Hubbell sounds weird, i've already been made fun..

chubbell..lol
I want to keep my last name for work purposes...but...im not sure

What are your experiences?

pspoptart...i thought about taking my last name and making it my middle....but my father told it would hurt him as he chose my middle name...
*sigh* lol

Jason's family joked with him and told him to take my name ;)

my current name i get alot of comments about it..im a singer, i don't perform alot anymore...but people used to ask if it was my stage name and im like "no lol"

but the older i got ...it because "are you an exotic dancer?" lol no

Answer 1

I had a friend who decided to hyphenate - Kirby-Rivas... she's been married for 13 years now and last year got sick of it all and went back and changed everything to Rivas and dropped the Kirby.... She said it was just too confusing. Yes, you may think that Chesney Hubbell sounds strange, but realistically, this is a new adventure and should be embraced wholly. Take his name and make life easier... and yes, I'm sure that there will be those that may poke fun, but realisitcally, we aren't in grade school anymore, so chances are that the people poking fun know and love you and mean no harm. Luv ya girl!

((((Chez))))

PS I'm still getting used to Oswald.... and you can imagine the comments I get with a last name like that... you get used to it after a while. You've had Devine for what...26 years? if after you've had Hubbell for 26 years, you still feel uncomfortable with it, change it then LOL!

Answer 2

I'm keeping my birth name after the wedding. My fiance and I both think it's unfair for a woman to be *expected* to change her name, though we certainly don't have a problem with it if someone freely *chooses* to change hers. :-) We already have long last names, so a hypenated name would just be ridiculous (22 letters, 8 syllables - no thanks!). Also, because we're of different nationalities, neither of our names would go with the other's last name without sounding goofy! :-) And - keeping my name will definitely reduce the amount of post-wedding paperwork.

His family is perfectly fine with our decision. In their culture many women keep their own names after marriage, so this is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If we decide to have kids, I'm sure we can come up with a good compromise with their names.

In your case, the hyphenated name sounds pretty cool! However, be prepared for people to ignore the Devine and call you Hubbell. Getting people to actually call you Ms. Devine-Hubbell may be a big pain in the neck. It might be easier to go with one or the other.

You could just keep your whole name intact and tack his last name onto the end of it.

EDIT: In response to the "if you want to be independent, don't get married" poster - that's just ridiculous. A marriage is healthier if you have two healthy individuals choosing to share their lives rather than one who is dependent on the other. The only way you could possibly have a non-sexist point is if you used your argument to advocate *both* partners changing their name. But you're just directing that sentiment to women who don't change their names. That's sexist and illogical.

Chesney - do whatever you want!

Answer 3

My fiance wants to take my name. Instead of joking about it, you could seriously talk about it.

I don't want to keep my name, though, and neither does he. We're investigating a totally different name -- looking at our relatives and family trees to see if we can resurrect an old family name.

I wouldn't take his name if I were you. If you don't feel comfortable with keeping your own, I'd hyphenate -- it'll at least combine the dowdy "Hubbell" with something sexier -- "Devine". It isn't a pain, and it's a nice gesture. I only approve of hyphenated names if both the husband and the wife do the combo, though. Otherwise, it just looks like you're making the gesture to show a union of the two of you while he isn't.

Answer 4

I'm married for the 3rd time, and I've kept my own name throughout my life. I like my name, and would never consider changing it. It's never caused me any practical problems; everyone knows me by one name, and one name only. My mom kept her own name after marriage, as did my paternal grandmother. There has never been any issues due to the fact that us kids had a different last name than our mom, or that my dad had a different last name than his mom. I'm not sure why people make such a big deal out of having a name that's different from your kids. I think, there's a lot of symbolic meaning in taking someone else's last name, but in a practical sense it really makes no difference.

I have no experience with hyphenation - personally, I would use it only as the last resort. I prefer keeping my name as is.

Answer 5

My future husband assumed when we became engaged that I would take his last name. However, I've never really liked that tradition. In the last bit, we have talked about several different ways to recognize our marriage using our names.

I am partial to my last name; I've had it my entire life! :) Originally, I thought about just keeping my last name, but I've been told horror stories about mothers not being able to pick their children up from school because they had their father's last name, but not their mother's.

Also, to be proper on invitations and mail addressed to the both of us, we would have to be addressed separately as Mr. so-and-so and Ms. so-and-so (not Mrs, as that implies the woman's last name is her husband's).

We've discussed hyphenation, but I'm not a big fan of that for our names. If I'm hyphenating my name, he should hyphenate his. (Why should I have to go through a lengthy legal process that he gets to skip out on because of his gender?) Unfortunately, our names hyphenated together sounds like a disease or something! lol It just sounds weird. We tried both names before the other, and it just doesn't work.

Right now, we are actually discussing the possibility of combining our names to become one name that is all our own. It would simplify a lot of situations and social constructs we've been dealing with since we began this journey. Plus, our names put together just sound awesome, if I may say so myself.

Answer 6

i plan on taking my fiance's last name..

my reasoning is kinda silly.. but his last name is less characters than mine..

my current name is 17 characters long (just first and last)
and it's a pain in the a** to write out all the time.... his last name is only 6 letters long..

my only concern for you is.. do you really want to keep writing out Chesney Devine-Hubbell every single time you have to fill out a form with your name on it??? Are there even enough spaces on the form??

Answer 7

I took my husbands last name. The new name (your first and his last) may sound funny at first, but think about how many years you have had Devine as a last name. It takes some time to get use to it. Also you have to remember that for the rest of your life you are going to be writing your name. Do you really want to write 3 names and everything for the rest of your life?

Answer 8

Have you talked to him about how he feels about it? If he doesn't care then do whatever you want. Just remember that it's going to sound weird to you at first because you've been hearing your name the way it is all your life, so of course it will sound funny. I think Chesney Hubbell sounds perfectly fine together.

Answer 9

I don't get why people hyphenate. It's such a mouthfull for everybody to say and long to write on documents.....so they end up just signing Chesney Hubbell. It could be a bias of my profession though. I sign a TON of paperwork so the shorter the better. lol

Perahaps adopt the spanish tradition and use your maiden as your middle name instead of a hyphen. I do know that my HTB would have been extremely hurt if I didn't want to take his last name. It's a male pride thing I guess.

Answer 10

I'm doing the same as freke... Making my maiden name a second middle name so I'll be CNPP.. hah, now it looks kinda funny written that way because both of our last names begin with a P. :)

The hyphenating would be a headache for me because most people have a hard time pronouncing either of our last names. At least his looks pretty simple Paradis.. (to me atleast) it's pronounced -par-a-dee. We're from French heritage, what can I say? :)

Good luck Chesney, at least both your last names are easy to pronounce!