I met this guy almost 2 months ago and we went on a couple dates and have been hanging out almost every other day since. A couple weeks ago I asked him what we were and he said he didn't know but he couldn't put a label on us because he doesn't want to feel like he has to call me every day and he's been screwed over in the past by his ex girlfriend (which has been quite a while since they broke up) Anyways, we've been sleeping together and had a conversation where he said he would feel guilty doing anything w/ any other girls. He's been calling me a lot more since then as well and has been very sweet. However, I really would like a commitment from him at some point. I feel like we are basically "boyfriend/girlfriend" just don't really have the title. I know this isn't exactly EXTREMELY important to have but I guess...what should I do? Should I bring it up again or wait for him to do it? I don't want to be strung along without any exact commitment. What do you guys think?
2007-11-15 05:08:33 · 5 answers · asked by shoegirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Then you need to tell him exactly what you think. Tell him that if this isn't going to go anywhere, you cannot continue. As gay as it sounds, tell him that every relationship is different and he can't be basing your relationship off the other relationships he has been in and gotten screwed over. I hope things work out for you. Good Luck!
2007-11-15 05:19:08 · answer #1 · answered by rlv1187 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a “friend’s w/benefits” situation. I am sure a lot of women on this post can relate to having been in this situation at least once in their life. This arrangement is okay if both parties do not expect anything further and do not get jealous when one of them dates someone else.
However, many women often make the mistake of tying sex to their emotions. Everything’s cool at first but when the hormones kick in that affects emotions and clouds their judgment. Remember the NASA Astronaut that made news recently?
I think women would be better off if all of us understand that subconsciously we often give sex to secure commitment, and most men offer commitment to get sex.
The problem with your relationship is that you have started sleeping with this guy and giving your attention to him as if he is our boyfriend, but he technically isn't which means that when you find out he is dating someone else you really do not have the right to be mad at him about it.
At this point, I would ask him what direction he would like to take things in this relationship. Be calm and don’t make him think that you are trying to pigeon hole him into commitment.
If FWB would like to keep things the way they are I suggest you stop having sex with him and spending so much time with him, because you are not satisfied with the terms of the relationship. At two months, you should still be getting to know each other, not having sex. If you continue to be a FWB, then you will eventually feel angry, and mistreated especially if he starts ignoring you because he is dating someone else.
In the future, stop engaging in casual sex relationships and hold out for a committed relationship first. Don’t feel bad about it either. We all gotta learn sometime.
2007-11-15 13:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by anosey1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well theres definetly a way to go about getting what you want, and you deserve whatever you want. Life is too short to settle for anything less. You have a right to ask what you two are. Why dont you tell him that youd like to be exclusive. Meaning, dating only eachother. Or tell him youd like to be his girlfriend and that you care too much to be anything less. You have the right to say whats on your mind and if you feel you cant say those things just yet, maybe you arent ready to be his girlfriend. People in any type of relationship deserve honesty as much as they deserve to be honest.
2007-11-15 13:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica The Great! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up again. Tell him you can't be in a sexual relationship without commitment. If he won't do it, it's time to move on; he's just using you for sex at this point.
2007-11-15 13:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm if you can only get a hold of him at his discretion then your not boyfriend and girlfriend. your just "dating" so to speak. just like the chris rock song goes " if you havent met any of his friends, youre not his girlfriend." how about friends with benifits and if theres going to be someone else you want to know so you dont get herpes or something.
2007-11-15 13:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by aaron c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋