So my bf and i had an argument last night over him wanting to live a "normal" life, whatever that means. He thinks he should not have to be restrained from talking to other girls, exes as long as it doesnt jeopardize OUR relationship. He says it's harmless, but i think he's full of s***. I mean who does that? If you wanna be in a committed relationship then how is it ok to talk to other girls as long as he's not doing anything. I mean am i just thinking too much about this, or what? It's just frustrating that's all...
Your advice will be appreciated...no smart comments please, there's no need.
Thanks
2007-11-15 04:12:05 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
These gilrs are just random girls, not necssarily his friends, except his Exes. I would never not allow him to talk to his girl friends, i'm not stupid. These are girls that he talks through myspace and such, so they're not really his friends or people who he's ever hung out with before.
2007-11-15 04:26:36 · update #1
You're just paranoid.... and jealous.
2007-11-15 04:16:25 · answer #1 · answered by Bethuel 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
What a frigin jerk. That is very inappropriate not to mention disrespectful. If he cared about you he would not be texting other girls and meeting them on myspace, especially if he has not told her about you. Awkward? I guess it woudl be awkward after flirting with a chick and being a dishonest a$$. You should ask him how he'd feel about some dude texting you all the time. You have to wonder what he's saying in those texts bc she probably would not keep texting him if she was not getting some serious encouragement. Don't let him or any guy treat you like this. I'd dump his sorry butt.
2016-05-23 06:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by viva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason why your guy shouldn't be allowed to have female friends. Nor any reason why you shouldn't be allowed to have male friends. If the two of you are confident in your relationship than there should be no issues.
My husband and I both still talk to and hang out with some of our exs. It is harmless. The only way you or he should have a problem with it would be if your afraid he/she is going to do something with their ex. Which if that is the case you shouldn't be together in the first place.
Stop being crazy and start trusting each other or end the relationship now. Good luck.
2007-11-15 04:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Dana B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should trust him if he says its harmless.. Has he ever cheated on you? I just think its ridiculous when two people are in a relationship and can't have friends of the opposite sex. One of my best friends is going through the same thing.. And it got to the point where she wasn't even allowed to have a myspace.. I mean seriously... I think if you feel a girl is a threat then yes you have a right to get frustrated.. but if you see him talking to a girl you know she'd have no chance with him.. dont worry about it..
I hope you're allowed to talk to other guys
2007-11-15 04:16:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. What does he mean by "talking" though. You know? Does he mean being able to actively seek out women (ex's or otherwise) and just hang out and chat away? If so, I think that's wrong. Or does he mean, if he's out at a store or something or if he's out at a function and someone asks him a questions, well then fine, answer it. But to seek out relationships or otherwise with someone other than who you're with is wrong. It does jeopardize the relationship if it hurts one person's feelings. Why would he want to do that? If I were you, I'd start "talking" away to other guys. I guarantee you he won't like it. Use reverse psychology on him. Works every time! Men cannot stand it when their girlfriends or wives do the same thing back to them, then all of a sudden you'll hear, "Well, No! I don't want it like this anymore..." Guaranteed! Just have enough balls girl to say, "Okay, honey, you're right. I was being selfish. We'll BOTH have this open talking with other people relationship then." And start talking girl!
2007-11-15 04:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He can talk to other girls as long as he's not doing anything else. I've been married for a little over a year and have a baby on the way. When my husband and I first got together he would "talk" to other girls. And i would get very jealous. But then i realized that the more i harrassed him about it, the more i would push him away. So as long as he is just talking, its harmless. The more you nag and the more you push, he will eventually give up on the relationship because you aren't being fair. You can't expect him to stop talking to every woman that he runs into.
2007-11-15 04:16:59 · answer #6 · answered by allieshedron 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Has he given reason to not trust him? Do you talk to other guys as friends or are you only allowed to talk to each other? That's a bit silly if so. If you trust him and he has never done wrong with you what is wrong with being friends with other females? I mean jealousy is one thing but that seems a little extreme. Now if he has cheated on you before or something i can understand how you feel, But If I was dating someone and they told me I could not talk to some of my female friends cause i was with her I gotta say I wouldn't be with her for long no one should have to give up friends just cause they are dating someone.
2007-11-15 04:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by tonice248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there are some serious trust issues going on. Your boyfriend just wants to be friends with females. I don't see a problem with this. His exes are exes for a reason. Things must have not worked out, and he wouldn't be with you if he had something better with them.
If you guys don't see eye to eye, try talking to each other more. If he is talking to these girls in groups would it make you feel better? What about if he included you, and you became friends with his exes?
Just ideas...give it a shot
2007-11-15 04:19:22 · answer #8 · answered by My Mutt is NEUTERED! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that if he's being faithful to you, that's all that's important.
He can talk, and look as much as he wants. But as soon as he tries to take what's not his, you can break the deal. It is harmless, to an extent. Sometimes it's not enough for someone to be told by their significant other how great they are, and they need to be told by others to confirm what a solid relationship he's in. This might come off as flirting, but as long as your boyfriend doesn't try to take advantage of it, you'll be fine.
Of course he can still talk to girls, as long as he knows his bounds. Try to control your jealousy, since I'm sure you will still have some guy friends you'd like to keep in touch with. You wouldn't want him to be jealous about them, right?
2007-11-15 04:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by Remi Hime 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him it is just fine to talk to other girls, but that you can talk to other guys too and it should not bother him.
You do not want to be too possessive too fast. A guy will run if a gal pushes too hard. He feels smothered and does not like it at all.
There is nothing wrong with him talking to other girls but if he gets jealous if you talk to the guys then he is being too possessive and wants it all one sided. Guys do that too. They want you and their freedom to do as they please too and do not want you to have the freedom at all.
You make it clear to him that it goes both ways and if that is fine with him then it is with you.
Neither one of you are married and so you both have the freedom to do as you will. If you don't let him have his freedom then there is no trust between you and of course this goes both ways.
You have to believe and trust in each other.
Don't you talk to guys at all? Are you suppose to keep your mouth shut around all the opposite sex? NO! Of course not and neither should he. This is not normal and maybe that is what he means.
If you both truly love each other then you have no worries and if there is not some freedom in the relationship then each of you will feel smothered by the other.
He is not a possession and neither are you and even if you were married he should be able to talk to women as well as you talk to men.
The only time you really have to worry about these things is when you see them acting more friendly then just talking.
2007-11-15 04:26:27 · answer #10 · answered by craft painter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's a clean line here and we're only listening to one side of the story.
What do you mean by talking to other girls? Does that mean as having friends and interaction with other girls? or does that mean going alone more often than he's seeing you? Or just being polite on meetings and such?
Why don't you agree with him, and start talking to other boys, and see how he feels about it.
2007-11-15 04:18:10 · answer #11 · answered by Roberto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋