R&S: do you trust people you meet online? What are you standards?

Question

How do you determine who is trustworthy? The avatar you're communicating with could be anyone. If I converse with someone who claims to be a young woman in her twenties she could actually be some pervert in his 50's.

Yet I still take people for their word, and assume they are who they claim. It doesn't make sense I guess.

What about you? Do you close yourself off and not get invested? If you do get invested, how do you know for sure the other person is being truthful?

Although I guess we can never determine if someone else is being truthful, be it online or face to face.

Thoughts?

Darth: no I'm not you. But I do not appreciate the dig. I'm not playing games

Moxie: I AM NOT DARTH CHENEY

Answer 1

I am who I am. And I hope my friends trust me when I say I am.

lol. I sounded very Eminem right there.

And you're right. Even with people in real life, they can appear to be one thing, but really be another.

You can't be afraid toget close to someone just because you aren't sure..... No one would know anyone! In real life and online....

That said, Drizzt! you'd better be who you say you are! lol.

Answer 2

Well, I am who I say I am. I tend to observe people's posts for a long time before I email them, just to get a feel for who they are. I don't think it's fair to dehumanize people just because they are on-line necessarily. I have met some really great people through email. True, some people pretend to be something they are not on-line but two things about that, one is if you look close enough you can usually tell, and two, people do that in real life as well so what's the difference? Either they are genuine or they aren't, regardless of being on-line or not. It's just a little harder to figure it out because you have no body language to read.

Answer 3

I know that there are some people that like to play games and live fantasies through Yahoo.
I am who I am on Yahoo as well as at home. I'm a 46 yr.Young woman,full Gospel Bible believer. I say on Yahoo what I would say In person.
I'm a black & white thinking kind of person. There Is no gray area with me.
I don't play games,that's for kids and childish people.
But there are a few who like to live out their sick fantasies through Yahoo.
Only God knows why.
But when I answer a question It's what I base my belief's on.
But you're right they're are some who like to play "let's pretend".
You have to be lead by the Holy Spirit.
He leads you Into all truth & knowledge. Ask for the gift of discernment. Desire these gifts.

Answer 4

Trust is not something that should come quickly; it is something that is earned over time. Although there are a number of people on R&S that I communicate with, they don't all have my trust (nor will they ever), but I am certainly willing to treat them with respect.

However, there are three people on R&S that I can honestly say I'd trust with my life, as strange as that may sound. They have demonstrated to me over time that they can be trusted and I feel comfortable opening up to them. (Actually, I talk with one of them fairly regularly by telephone and email.) And if I ever needed to speak with either of the other two, I know how (and where) to reach them.

The internet gives us all a huge amount of anonymity, which many people abuse to mislead others; so we all have to be careful. But it can also be a way to -- unexpectedly -- meet people who are genuine and truthful. Just like in "real life," if you're suspicious of everyone, you will get to know no one.

Answer 5

There are some I trust more than others, but I can't say that I truely trust anyone on here. I do assume people here are generally honest, but for me there's a difference between being honest online and trustworthy enough to enter my real world friends. In a lot of ways I'm more honest here than in the real world, but there are aspects of my real world life that I would never divulge online. I don't think I'd like my online world and my real world to meet.
To quote George from Seinfield, "When 'Carefree George' and 'Relationship George' meet 'Relationship George' will kill 'Carefree George'. A George divided against itself CANNOT stand."

Answer 6

I don't give them information like my home address or my bank account, but I feel pretty safe talking through emails. I figure, if the person is genuine and really wants to get to know you, they will stay interested.
I was speaking to someone over email a while back - we even spoke about meeting in person. The emails lasted a few days and then I never heard from the person again. So, I figured they weren't really that interested or they weren't who they said they were.
It's always a roll of the dice when it comes to trust.

Answer 7

Just like with anything else, it becomes a game of familiarity. After talking to this person via chat for so long, if they earn your trust you might call- then maybe meet up in person... whatever. Trust needs to be determined on an individual basis and certainly not handed out for free.

Did you talk to the other R&S'er about your "dilemma" yet?

Answer 8

I trust people that I see as friends.

I do not trust most men who approach me because I have found ALL of the ones in the past to have been less than truthful.

Answer 9

I trust (sometimes stupidly) because I am trustworthy. I believe others to be so until I get burned by them. My dad always told me to watch and listen VERY carefully if you want to learn about someone. I do that. Of course, I can't watch you, but ...in this forum, it doesn't really matter, does it? I want to believe that people whom I've come to know and like are as good as they seem. I am optimistic to a fault, but I won't let it ruin my day!

I'm probably getting burned right now, though, ain't I? LOL

Answer 10

I have made some good friends here.

I have felt attractions here and most of them have turned out to be less than truthful. The others were just not interested.

I do not want to ever get invested again. NOT EVER!