But my fiance is not even thinking about it. We've talked about what kind of wedding we want and things like that but we it comes to setting a date he just not into it. I'm ready to get married like next year but he wants to wait until his real estate business (which isn't doing too bad) gets off the ground. I understand but I love him soooo much that I'm just ready to get into married life and it's not even about the wedding, we could go to city hall for all I care. I'm just ready to be his wife. So how do I approach him and get him to agree to setting a date, without it being forced? Or should I let him tell me when he's ready?
2007-11-15 02:25:08 · 10 answers · asked by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I understand that he wants to provide for our future but we're not doing bad now. I want a reasonable wedding that we both can pay for. We have two daughters (2 and 7 months) and I feel like we should've been married years ago. I suppose I should tell him how I feel and relax and let things fall into place.
2007-11-15 02:44:01 · update #1
Sounds to me like he might be nervous to committ. You should talk to him and see what his fears about being a husband are and try to work through them.
Don't pressure him into anything though, stay patient but do work on the situation. If he feels pressured into it, he will remember that throughout the whole marriage and always wonder what he would have done if he didn't feel pressured. He needs to know it is his choice, and more importantly, you need to know that it was his choice to marry you and thats what he really wanted, not that you convinced him to do so.
2007-11-15 03:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by nic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's weird. The point of an engagement is that you're planning to get married at a definite time and place in the future. Why would he want to be 'engaged' but not want to actively plan on getting married?
If you're both doing well financially now, that shouldn't change once you have a piece of paper saying you're husband and wife. That, combined with you not wanting a big wedding, is a good give-away that money isn't the real issue. The two of you could probably benefit greatly by seeing a professional relationship counselor.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 13:10:07 · answer #2 · answered by SE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to sound all negative here, since you've been getting these positive answers. But...that just seems messed up to me.
Ok...this guy has TWO children with you, and is therefore committed for the rest of his life to them, and therefore to you. It took him, what, seven years(!) to get engaged to you. And now he's making excuses to put off setting a wedding date. If he wasn't ready to get married why did he ask you? And if his business isn't doing badly, then what's his reason? Sounds like it's "off the ground" already.
I'd tell him the two of you need to set a date, and tell him when you want to get married. Then talk about it rationally, and express to him any concerns you may have over him "dragging his feet." Some guys are comfortable getting engaged, but don't want to EVER actually take the plunge and say the vows. He may be one of these guys, and you don't want to wait another seven years to find that out.
2007-11-15 11:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Set a date and then let him know what it is. Be very excited, take the time to find the perfect place with the 2008 wedding date. Find a venue and tell him that date is available. tell him you are sure the business will continue to grow, you are just wanting to be a family. keep busy and do not ask him about it too often. Just do several price ranges and let him know the facts. from the hours of the justice of the peace to how much for a small intimate affair somewhere special
2007-11-15 10:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by MrsMagee 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well for me and my fiance we knew where we wanted to get married so we set our date on what was avail. i know thats not the norm but it worked out for us since they are booked up until next fall and we were lucky to get the end of august, maybe you could start thinking about where and get a couple dates in mind then ask him which one he would prefer.
2007-11-15 10:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Finally a Mrs.!! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont force him.He seems like he is trying to do the responsible thing to make sure that he can support you once you do get married.Wait a few months and see how his buisness is going,then if it seems to be going well approach him again.He is looking our for yall's future.I find that very noble.
You have your whole life ahead of you.A few months will go by quick and you might find it is better worth the wait.
Congrats!!
2007-11-15 10:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by nscarfan24n48 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you work on him. Ask him if you can pick a date in - say - 6 months, when his business is further along.
Tell him you really want to set a date.
But on your side, can you be willing to set a date in the future that suits him?
2007-11-15 10:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you just said on here. Maybe he thinks you want a really expensive wedding, and he's just thinking ahead to how you two will pay for it. Be honest, but be open to his opinion on the matter too.
2007-11-15 10:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by mellowyellow5 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know guys are so weird, my bf told me to go ahead and plan the wedding but we aren't engaged yet so i'm like WTF? But u have to b honest with him tell him how u feel. Everything is gonna be the exact same after ya'll get married just ur titles are different. Go for it and Good Luck!!
2007-11-15 11:34:51 · answer #9 · answered by Miss. K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him. don't hold back tell him what you are feeling.
2007-11-15 14:04:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋