Ok, so I recently met a man through a close friend (about 2 months ago). Ever since our first date, we have really connected. We talk every night on the phone and we are both really serious about each other. Things have moved faster than either of us expected, but we both feel comfortable with it. He is a wonderful man. He cares deeply for his daughter and is very interested in being there for my boys (their Dad does not want a relationship with them). He has had a steady job for the past 7 years as an electrician, family is important to him, he cuddles with me, he listens to me, and really seems to care for me--and I completely feel the same way. There is something bothering me though. He is shy, so that may be part of it...but he doesn't tell me I am pretty and I am also usually the one to initiate sex. In the past, men have always told me I am beautiful. Friends say he obviously is attracted to me or he wouldn't be there, but I can't help this feeling that I'm not attractive to him.
2007-11-15 02:23:22 · 15 answers · asked by ANGEL 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Am I making too much out of this? Should I tell him how I feel? Do you think maybe he just thinks I know he thinks I am pretty? I just need a man's perspective here. We women sometimes over-think things and I am not sure if that is the case here or not. Thanks for reading this.
2007-11-15 02:24:36 · update #1
THANK YOU guys so much for your honest answers! You have really helped me see I am over-thinking here. The last thing I want to do is put added pressure on him, so I will just be happy with all of the positive things so far. : )
2007-11-15 02:47:59 · update #2
Sounds like you might have found a keeper. Don't be needy and look for the reassurance in hearing that he thinks you are pretty. Maybe he sees the attention he pays to you as a compliment. You could always ask if he thinks a particular outfit is flattering or what he thinks of the way you do your hair.
If you were not attractive to him, he would not be there. Remember, you both have "baggage", and it seems to not matter at all. Enjoy it for what it is, and see where it goes. Perhaps once he lets his guard down and you enter "his world", he will be more open and aggressive.
Good luck.
2007-11-15 02:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that men are not always good at expressing things and I am sure that a lot of women would tell u the same It could be that he is a bit shy, but i think that you need to tell him how u r feeling about this as he may not realize that this is a problem. If u were not attractive to him then would he still b with u? Is it just because he does not tell u that u are pretty or is it other things like he does not say I love u, etc? If it is all this then u need 2 communicate this with him. Also no I don't think in any way that u r over thinking, it is totally normal
2007-11-15 10:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't had sexual relations with another woman other than his partner in many years it would be a very strange situation to find himself in. If you are extremely attractive, he may be intimidated, for want of a better word. Not all men have tons of self confidence, and even those that do can have it shattered in seconds. Yes, I agree with you, women tend to over stress whether or not a man is attracted to them. I say give this relationship time to grow and mature. And please do not put any more pressure on him by asking him what's wrong. If the situation is still the same in the new year, then you may have to rethink...
2007-11-15 10:33:30 · answer #3 · answered by I don't know 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never forget that men are simple creatures. One of my daughers and her siblings were comparing notes; she said "A man is like linoleum, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the rest of their life". Yes, I do sleep with one eye open and a double barrel shotgun under my pillow; after all, I have six darling little she-demons who really scare me. I think you are overthinking the situation. If he has a daugher then he probably has and ex and has been burnt a little; and is confused and unsure about women; which is how it should be. He is trainable so get to work and quit thinking so much.
2007-11-15 10:32:08 · answer #4 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he is a litle shy. But, you could ask him if he is uncomfortable saying certain things and if so you understand. This might losen him up a little bit. Sometimes people aren't the same as you might expect. He just like me doesn't say things like, but I do say I love you, be careful, etc... Maybe he is just leaving the sex encounters up to you. After all guuys are ready all the time right! ha, ha
2007-11-15 10:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by scooter 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Over thinking is not exclusively a female trait.Everyone thinks alot.He may not be comfortable expressing himself,or maybe unaware of how exactly you prefer to be treated.Let nature take her course.You don't want to come off as being overbearing.Two months is not a long enough time to expose your deepest desires to him.If you truly believe that he is someone that will be compatible then by all means take things one step at a time.
2007-11-15 10:31:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in my opinion, I have always told all of my girlfriends how pretty they looked, and it wasn't just for sex. How can a man be with you and not call you pretty, I don't get it. You said you "cuddle" but why doesn't he say, "I love you" or "your so beautiful" it stumps me. And if this stumps another man..then you should talk to him.
-Kyle
2007-11-15 10:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he may not know what to say around you. He probably doesn't wanna say you're beautiful because he knows you've heard it a million times. He won't initiate because he knows thats what every other guy would do.
Problem is now he doesn't know what to do with you. So just guide him, tell him touch me, grab me tell me, I'm beautiful!
2007-11-15 10:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by radman2035 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly, it does sound like you are over-analyzing. take it for what it is right now, and don't expect too much. some of us like for the woman to take the iniative when it comes to sex, because we're tired of getting rejected when it comes to that particular part of the picture.
2007-11-15 10:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by Crooked Johnson 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lissen im 17 and ill tell you now...
he seems like a decent one, and if it bugs you a little just ask him if your ugly to him. he'll probably say:" WHAT, NOOOOOOO, where did you get that?!'' you say, well you never tell me im cute or something... and hell get mooshie and crap.. and from then one h''ll think about it.
if he sees it bothers you, he will try to make you happy
or maybe he wants to show you hes not shallow andit's not about looks...
anyways i hope i have been of any help:D:D
btw make a question or something when you 2 get married:D:D would be cool
2007-11-15 10:34:18 · answer #10 · answered by peter54354 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋