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For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram,
"O.K.," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold,
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow"!

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.

2007-11-15 00:46:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

13 answers

Quite cute, luv...hope you went home after that and let your sweety-pie caress 'em a little bit...show 'em some real tender love.

2007-11-15 00:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Protect the bosom! Ban this evil machine!

2007-11-15 02:18:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Nice 1,thanks for sharing.

2007-11-15 00:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by xyz 7 · 0 0

Owch. At least us ladies know its for the good of our health.

2007-11-15 00:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by *♥* donna *♥* 7 · 0 0

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA DATS HILARIOUS, where did u get it from did u make it up, i dnt fink im gna b gettin a mammogram now lol

2007-11-15 00:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Xx~lovely~xX 3 · 1 0

Donna, it may be good for your health but may not be so good for your bosom friends!

2007-11-15 01:21:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It does hurt...good job.

2007-11-15 00:50:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

lol! Funny! 10!

2007-11-15 01:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by cats 7 · 0 0

ROFPMSL

From a mans prespective!!

2007-11-15 00:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by cmcconnachie2000 3 · 0 1

LOLOLOL
hilarious, have a star

2007-11-15 03:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry K 6 · 0 0

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