Is Mom right to allow her grown son to still live at home not working and eating tree meals a day?

Question

Mom is tired but still put three squares of meal in front of son
Mom loves him dearly and would give her life for him eventhough hes grown
Grown daughter is living by herself independently working and paying her way through life because mom taught her girls must be strong and not let men rule them. Shes been on her own since 18. Shes a payroll secretary/
Son does. nothing
Mom feels its best that he entertain in her home rather than out there in the world where he might get into trouble. He loves the attention. Daughter resents his attitude
I say Treat both the same. Its unfair to him. She enabing him to be a grown child. He should be on his own too. Mom still works eight hour shift and dasjhes home to feed her boyfriend who doesnt work and her son.

Son is 40 years old

Mom is 78 and she says shes so tired
Son says that is what mothers are for, He says he has the greatest mom in the world unlike other mothers
She bveleiveshim
I say son is abusing huis mom

He has never left home

He said his mom loves him unconditionally until she dies unlike some of these other moms who put conditions on what their son shoukd do such as getting out at a certain age and working. He said his mom is a real mom

Answer 1

Both mother and son has seem to have never cut the mother/son string. It's not wrong to be close your child but there is a time to let them go, live on their own, and let them make their own mistakes. That is what makes them a strong and achievable adult. Daughter is right to be upset. All children should be taught, as she was, to be strong and not depend on any one else, but that also includes their parents.

The son needs to but himself from his mother, get a job, and realize that he is making his mother grow older faster because she is working when she should be retired to come home and feed him.

But I believe the same goes to parents. There are parents out there that think because they bore a child, that that child has to in turn take care of them. It's untrue. Parents choose to have children, children do not choose to be born and they have no choice who their parents are.

God bless this woman who has taken it upon herself to take care of a 40 year old man even if it is her child when he should be out on his own.

It's time to grow up.

Answer 2

Mom is at her life expectency right now. She has the right to do what she wants. Maybe she just wants to live the rest of her life with her family close by. And by the way, mothers never treat their children the same...because each child is an individual.

Answer 3

It seems like Mom needs to get a backbone and kick the lazy son AND the lazy boyfriend out!! I can understand a brief time of unemployment might cause someone to move back in with their parents. If he has never moved out there is definitely a problem there!

She needs to tell him that either he move out and mooch off of someone else, or he is going to start paying rent. Either way, the situation must change.

Answer 4

I think the son needs to grow up, get off his butt and stop taking advantage of his mother.

The daughter doesnt really play a roll in this because each individual will aspire to their own greatness. Some just need a little push and a little encouragement.

Answer 5

This sounds as if this could be my mothers life if she continued to baby my brother. Us daughters were treated differently and once we were out of the house we were supposed to stay out. My brother a grown man lived scott- free for years. Now he's moved out, got a family and a job. I just hope he sticks it out and doesn't go running back to mom. He's got so much potential if he would just realize it.

Answer 6

oh boy. Wny would he, mom who does everything, and still provides him 3 meals a day. I would hate to be the woman this man actually marries. She will divorce him within a year. Kick him out, make him stand on his own two feet. Talk about using your parents. He is a lazy slob!!!!

Answer 7

this sounds like a rerun that happened in my family : ) except my mom didn't have a boyfriend.. my brother hid behind moma's skirt 2 avoid paying child support.. when dad died, it seemed that my brother took his place. wouldn't ask, just went in momas purse and took money everyday 4 his needs. she let him.. he set the rules and we had 2 follow them.. nothing we could say and we are all adults in the 50's and 60's.. imagine that.. never paid rent, but took over ownership of everything.. and i just couldn't be a mini mouth, said 2 much and now i'm on the outside looking in... bummer... try your best 2 ignore it all, because it will eat you alive.. my brother died at age 62 a nothing ~

Answer 8

Mom is definitely enabling him. If he is 40 years old, who's problem is it if he gets into trouble? She should have trained him correctly when he was young. Unfortunately, its too late. He will never change. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Sad story, but nothing can be done about it.

Answer 9

Son is a lazy no good bum. Taking advantage of his mom. She's taken care of him for 40 years. Now it's time for him to get a job and help take care of her.
Mom needs to get a backbone and cut the umbilical cord already.

Answer 10

How can mom teach the girls not to let men control them and yet her son controls him. Stop coddling. If he's trying and just down on his luck its okay to help. If you are enabling his dependency its not okay.