which should i do?

Question

stay married and be miserable for the rest of my life and tough it out? or just leave

Answer 1

some problems can be worked out except for betrayal. after u have tried to make it work and your still unhappy get out of it because you will only be hurting yourself and the other person.

Answer 2

You have not been married very long.
You also have a new baby in the house.
You both have gone through a large number of life changes in a short time.

You need to sit down with husband and identify some specific areas to work on and start back toward a healthy relationship again.

All this is far to recent to give up that easily.
You have been married for 1 year, if you cannot find a way to come together and work through this for the benefit of your marriage AND your child i fear that you will face many years of unhappiness in whatever you choose to do.
Marriage is not easy. The rewards far outweigh the work but it requires work.

I'm not telling you to be unhappy. I'm telling you that you do not have to accept unhappiness and can effect positive change.
Cooperation from your husband is the key. If he does not feel there is a problem, THAT is your biggest hurdle.
It does not sound like that. It sounds like you are both dealing with money, baby and birth control stress. Take a step back and take a deep breath. Do not be overwhelmed. Pick an item and work on that. Then work on another.

For all the people who say "you deserve to be happy" and that you should leave, understand that those will be the same people who will not be able to stay married for any length of time and end up alone and lonely.

Answer 3

You don't give enough information but it does strike me that you aren't taking repsonsibility for how happy your marriage is (otherwise you wouldn't be saying its going to be miserable forever). If you can't take responisbilityfor your marriage then you won't be able to take responsibility for yourself - so whatever happens you are going to be miserable.
Make a list of all the things that make you sad and miserable. Now, out of that list, how many of those things are actually part of your marriage, and how many of thsoe things can you really not do anything about?
Stop moaning and sort yourself out before you turn into a more pitiful wreck than you already seem to be. If your marriage ain't working then get out - but you do need to change yourself as well - no-one likes a grumpy guts.

Answer 4

this question is way to vague for us to really give you good insight. so many things factor in like

-how long you've been married?
-what is causing the unhappiness and is it fixable (money issues,abuse,drugs,cheating,etc). some things are more fixable than others and some are flat out not fixable (like abuse)
-do you have children already or expecting a child? if a child could potentially be put in danger then you MUST leave

these are some things to think about. depending on how much you love you spouse and whether or not you are willing to try everything (counseling,etc)

good luck!!

Answer 5

I think you should leave, if youre feeling miserable. Find someone who will make you happy, of course, you might not find it. Then try again. Being happy is what you made your life. Its you who decide and think. You just have to be responsible for all your actions. At least you have tried searching for happiness rather than living a miserable life.

Answer 6

It depends on if your mariage is worth saving. Are there children involved. If there is any chance, then you should seek marriage counseling before making such a decision. If there are no children and there is no chance of things working out, then it is best to end the marriage. If there is any abuse, you should end it immediately.

Answer 7

Nobody should be miserable.If you have done everything you can to work it out and nothing has helped then a divorce is the way to go.We did get a choice and divorce is not a sin.We got granted the divorce option so people would not have to live in missery.

Answer 8

Let me tell you that I have been there. My wife cheated on me continously ,but because I had a career in the military I had to be married to be selected for Command Sergeant Major. It will be rough for you if you do not have any parents around, but you have to ask yourself what kind of a father will this jerk be. Best to cut your looses and runOH! My cheating wife got hers, she ended up with lung cancer that spread to her brain.

Answer 9

i say tough it out, remember why you were married in the first place. talk to your partner first and if you both agree this is it, then go from there.

Answer 10

If you love him, then try to make it work. Its always worth it to fight for love, because once its gone its gone forever. Also, if there are children involved, you need to consider their feelings and whats right for them.