I have two women I've been friends with since high school, who were also friends themselves up until 2 years ago when they had a fall out. Friend A confided in someone that friend B's husband had hit on her. Even though friend B's husband has a history of being unfathful, for some reason she refuses to believe the other woman and has wiped her, saying she made it up to cause trouble. I think she knows deep down it is true, and it's easier to cut her friend out, than it is to divorce her husband. In the last few months I've grown closer to the 'wiped' friend and my other girlfriend has become jealous and cranky with me. She will throw a tantrum and refuse to come into my house if the other woman is there, and I feel like I'm in the middle.
I really don't feel like I want to make a choice between them, but I feel I'm being forced. What would you do? If you decided to stay friends with both, how would you justify it to your angry friend? Hope this all made sense :)
2007-11-14 22:32:16 · 7 answers · asked by Kylie M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The one that was hit on doesn't care I'm still friends with the other one - ironically she never speaks badly of the other friend, or her sleazy husband.
2007-11-14 22:45:20 · update #1
You don't have to justify remaining friends to the angry one. Just tell her that the issue is between her and the other friend and you like them both so are not going to choose sides. You will just not be able to invite them both over at the same time.
2007-11-14 22:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although you shouldn't have to justify yourself, I can see how doing so will help to keep things smooth between the three of you.
I think that Friend B DOES know that her husband is shady but isn't ready to leave yet and is probably embarrassed because she knows that others know too. She may be trying to push those that know away and instead hanging out with people that don't know or are "on her side".
I wouldn't expect or even mention her coming over while Friend A is around. You know they don't like each other and you should not try to resolve their fights, they need to do that if they're ready and when they're ready. In the meantime just spend time with both individually. To keep things uncomplicated don't mention Friend A to Friend B at all. If she talks about her or asks about her just say "I care for you both and am not going to choose between you so I am choosing to keep you separate. It would be easiest and best if we all just keep each other out of our conversations and concentrate on our individual friendships."
Hopefully there will come a time when she does choose to leave, and she will be grateful to have a friend like you for support....
2007-11-15 00:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be friends with the friend you are friends with, (hope that made sense), LOL, the other friend will come around, and if the friend that you are friends with, says something about the other friend, just say that you do not want to get involved, and change the subject.
2007-11-14 22:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel like you have to justify anything to anyone? They sound just like little kids, for crying out loud. If you like both of them and want to remain friends with both of them, then do. I would make it clear to both of them that you intend to keep the friendship with both, that you no longer want to talk about the situation, if they dont want to be friends they dont have to be. But its rediculous they would want you to choose who you can be friends with. Hell, maybe you should dump them both now that I think about it. Just kidding. Keep the friendship going with both and let them deal with their own problems.
2007-11-14 22:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by beentheredonethat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you consider breaking a truce between them, if they are both friends of your you really don't have to make a choice, you can help settle the misunderstanding.Trying to make a choice will only amount to the fact that you are taking side with one
2007-11-14 23:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by black&proud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell them both to not bring that **** around me and I don't want to hear a damn word about "he said....she said".....bullshit. And don't think I won't throw the both of them out of my house. Because I sure as hell will and they'll find out I'm not their damn referee.
2007-11-14 23:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
rule no 1 never have two women in the same house
2007-11-14 22:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋