How do I stop being afraid of what I want?

Question

I 've always done what I was told. I love to make people happy. But I'm starting to realize that what I thought made me happy never really was there. I'm passionate about things my other half doesn't care about or has know interest in. SO I try really hard to do what makes him and others happy. And push what I want aside. That was working so I thought. But now I ve found somone that turly lights those passions in me . Only I can never speak of it. So that person will never know how happy they make me. I'm to afaid to dissplease or hurt anyone. SO HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS AND MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY? Please help!

Answer 1

In order to deal with it and make it all go away, you have to stop being afraid.You will never truly have what you want.You being happy is most important.

You do not want to lose yourself. It is great to make people happy.Stay passionate about the things you love. If your partner does not share your interests,or care about them. You have to make him understand how unhappy this is making you feel.Talk to him, tell him everything, how much this is really hurting you.You both can come to a compromise together.

Maybe, he does not know how much this means to you or how unhappy you truly are. I hope he will understand your feelings. If he truly cares about you, he will want to see you happy not miserable.You have to stop worrying about displeasing or hurting anyone, when it comes to your happiness and the happiness of your partner.So you both can be happy together. Forget about the other guy, that is just going to complicate things even more.

It is you and your partner that has to work this out, and be happy together.Thinking of someone else is not going to make this go away.Stay true to yourself and your partner and work things out. Good Luck

I hope you start feeling better soon. :)

Answer 2

First of all you have to learn that you can never make everyone happy, it is impossible. You have to make yourself happy before you can make others happy anyway. You cannot put your hopes, dreams or passions to the side for others, you will find out you resent yourself later. Start with you, and everything else will fall into place. ANd so what if joe blow isn't happy with your choice, as I said you can never make everyone happy.
In my line of work, I do home health nursing, and I find that most of the time, it is just the attitide I walk into the patients house with as to how I can make them feel. If I walk in smiley and do something silly to make them laugh, they respond happliy, but if I were to walk in somber, they would not feel good about the visit.
Sometimes just the way you smile or say hi to a stranger can make their day. Stop trying to impress others and be you! ;^)

Answer 3

Life is a series of choices, some better than others, but choices you have to live with.
There's no limit to the amount of choices you can make but choose wisely as you will have to live with them to.
You should consider your own feelings in life because its tough to get anybody else to do it.
Is this about an awakening or are you falling in love ? Doesn't really matter but Good Luck to ya.

Answer 4

Stop being afraid. Lol. Problem solved. Truly, it is that easy. People who are self-sacrificing are just afraid. Don't be. You are only making everyone else happy and yourself miserable. When you look back on your life, is all you want to see OTHER PEOPLE'S happiness? Of course not. Reach down there, grab your cohones and do something about it. It's the only way it'll get done. I left a nine year relationship with a guy I have two kids with. That was scary as hell. But I did it. And you can, too. Life's too short not to do what you want to do and too long to be miserable.

Answer 5

stop doing for other people, do things for YOU, only you can make happiness and sadness in your life.
second you have a decision, to make to stay with present partner, or leave him for the other, you cannot have both!, what has this secret lover got to offer you, has he said, would he sacrifice his life, lifestyle he has to be with you have you asked him, if yes then now you must sit your present partner down tell him you have found someone else, who, wants you, and is passionate about things i like in life, be honest, you tell him, dont let someone else get there first. big gulp, and be honest, yes there will be turbulance, anger, but thats what happens when you do these things you have to accept the consequences of your actions, it seems to me you are now doing what you want now, by meeting someone else and conducting a secret liason!!! time to come clean, wish you well,

Answer 6

Have you talked to your other half to know that he doesn't have an intrest in it or are you assuming that? Sometimes as you know already things are not said because they are afraid their other half would not be interested in it or just being afraid of rejection. A couple of years ago my wife came to me with some intrest she was afraid to share. I was interested and still am, but I was not going to let her know thinking it would push her away. Now that we have a common intrest again we have just gotten much closer.

Answer 7

It will be difficult for you to change the way you think and act. Especially if its the only thing you have ever known. My advice if you wish to change whatever aspect of your life. Do it slowly and wisely and for sure you will get good results.

Answer 8

Well i found out in order to make others happy we have to be happy with ourselves too and to be happy is pleasing ourselves too.If you plan on cheating that is a bad idea.It isn't always greener on the other side of the fence you know.

Answer 9

Hi

try to be who you are as much as possible. i had the same problem, but i told my self everyday and all the time that i want to be me. Now i can spress my opinion, my feeling without exitation


Keep well

Answer 10

you have to take the first step, you refer to an other half, if you are married and arent happy, then get out of the relationship first,