I don't know whether to be happy or sad...?

Question

I've just finished high school. It's not a big deal that i'm leaving my last school because this is my 6th school so far. I know a lot of people, but I only have one true friend.

I've been through quite a bit. I've been abused and hurt and seen things that 10 year olds shouldn't see. I was also raped I've had serious injuries to my back, neck and ankles.

I'm going to University next year so I hope to start all fresh. I need to know how I can put this all behind me because my past if screwing up my future. I'm trying to not let it.

How do I put the bad memories behind me? I've tried counselling, meditation, writing, trying not to give them importance etc..

There are only two things I don't regret in my life. The thing is I have to give up one of those in order to get the other. I try talking to people but I don't know where to start and it brings up even more things!

I'm almost 18 by the way.

What's it with people not spelling correctly? Or using punctuation.

Why did you waste your time answering then.

I'm atheist.

Thanks everyone.

One thing I don't regret is buying my puppy. She's one of, if not the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's always excited to see me and always likes to be with me. She the only neutral person.

The other is my best friend. He's stuck with me through all of my childhood and helped me with everything. When we were 11 he moved away. I'm moving to his city to go to University.

But that means I have to leave Tilly with my Mum, which makes me really sad about.

Answer 1

College life is a big change. I had a serious girlfriend in the same (almost exactly the same) situation as you. She didn't get the help she needed and college turned out to be a very tough time for her.

I would suggest checking out what kind of help (support groups, counseling) the college offers. Guidance counselors are very understanding and not judgmental at all about your past. They have the ability to hook you up with the support you will need to do well in college.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You've been through a lot - no doubt of that. But you're being positive about going to University and making a new start - which is good. You're not going to forget the things that happened to you so that's not really an option - You don't explain what "There are only two things I don't regret in my life. The thing is I have to give up one of those in order to get the other." means - which is fine because it's probably personal and private. Talking to someone is probably the best way of putting things into perspective. From what I can tell, you seem to have a positive outlook but just need someone to talk to to help you form a brighter outlook for yourself and put your previous misfortunes into context. I sincerely wish you all the best.

Answer 3

Gee ! It is not a question of being happy or sad...? It is all a question of being STRONGER after what has happened to you ! -- Remember, you're an angel at only 17, already with so many painful memories and awful experiences to deal with. --- Go seek help from the local police. You need to put that bastard behind bars ... for two reasons (1) He must pay for for what he did to a very young girl like you and (2) so he does not do it again to some other girl !
I am not that convinced of the effectiveness of professional counselling. I don't know... It seems to me that it encourages, promotes(?) self-pitty. You need something more sincere than that -- a genuine friend you can turn to and empty your bag and who will help you deal with the weight you have on your shoulders. Most of all remember... IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT... THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU... and also that ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND A GUY WHO WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE AND YOU WILL HAVE CHILDREN AND A FAMILY OF YOUR OWN (we men are not all like that bastard)... only then will you really have conquered the pain you have now. For the moment live with the thought that that bastard will have on his conscience for the rest of his life the awfulness of his act, an act that if other men knew he had committed they would probably kill him and spit on him. Pity you don't have an older brother who could cut his thing off.

Answer 4

It is a`difficult situation you have been through.
You need to forget the past by involving yourself in some new activity which will keep you occupied and happy at the same time. Try cultivating a hobby, or else doing something else which gives you a sense of both challenge and satisfaction.
This way it will keep out the unproductive thoughts, but that is easier said than done.
I think you need love in your life; you are almost 18, and of legally marriage-able age soon. I think a understanding life partner is what you need at this stage.

Answer 5

Well to tell you to be happy would not help you at all* happiness comes from inside. As long as you have all the unresolved pain within you, it will be extremely difficult for you to maintain a level of being happy! I can certainly sympathize with the things in your past that are causing you to even have to ask your question. Many years ago I also went through a childhood much similar to yours. I saw & experienced many many things that a child should never have to go through* Most of these things are with me for the rest of my life! I don't dwell on them for the most part. I am hoping you can have some good experiences to balance all of the harm that has been done to you! Good Luck, Sweety!

Answer 6

the answer is in you. go for the things that make you happy. forget the past, concentrate on the present and plan for the future. don't let anyone to ruin your life. don't think too much on what other people might be thinking of you. always choose what's best for you. counselling, meditation, writing, etc. won't work if you don't help yourself move on.

Answer 7

I'm sorry that happened to you...

Try learning Zen Meditation...

And liberally use some "medicinal indica buds..."

And realize the following with all your heart...

"The Past Is Not Real"

And what is "Not Real" can no longer hurt you...

There is only and always...

Right Now...(that's what Zen Meditation teaches you..."Carpe Diem" means to "Seize The Day"...and there is only...

Right Now...

Answer 8

It is very hard to forget the past. The best way is to try and live for today and hope for tomorrow. Talking to people about your past (psychiatrists, councellors etc) doesn't really help you to forget but knowing that you are not alone (loads of others suffer too) helps a little I guess.

Answer 9

Sorry to say this sort of thing never go's away.
I don't know what to say but I wish you all the luck in the world, & if you need someone to talk to try finding someone who as been though the same sort of thing. Be proud of yourself you havn't done anything wrong.
SO GOOD LUCK & BIG HUGS FROM ME & MY LITTLE GIRL & MY SON (14 & 10).

Now crying

Answer 10

hi. your past sounds ugly and sad.. but am happy for you that although scathed you are still alive and surviving.
it is painful i know..it is easy for me to tell you that i understand but no.. i might have a dark past too, but it isn't like yours.
continue the counselling, find organizations that you can come and affiliate with.. help others in the same situation.. you'll find out that there are more who are in worst situations than you are. reach out.. you'll find your past won't look as dark as you perceive it right now. be happy.. get closer to GOD, be active in both community and church activities. it'll help you heal the wounds. there is nothing that time cannot heal.
busy yourself with your interests.. find time to study.. get yourself busy.. you'll find out that the life is good. God is good.
learn to accept things.. things that cannot be changed.. but can be improved. see things differently. don't look at life negatively.. when you are presented with a glass of water - look at it "half full and not half empty"
hey.. i can be your friend .. when you think you need someone to talk to.. i'd be most happy to reply... email me here: [e-mail]..