What would you do,if you found all the worst kind of porn (not children) on discs?

Question

That were downloaded from your computer by your husband?
I have kept them, and hidden them, crashed and reformatted my PC. Called him a sick f*uck and told him he needed help for his addiction. What would you do ? What should I do next? I am so disgusted, I can't even look at him. I've also told him that he is out of my life. We have two kids and I won't take them and leave.

This is very bad ametuer camera, not actors I am stunned no he is not partaking

Animals and females

Horses, dogs, pigs, teens
from all over the world.

yea sure it's my fault, a*hole I won't let a horse do me!

I am alone here I have only my friends in Q/A to ask, no one else

Dune, That is what I said to him. What if it was one of the kids that found this stuff.

We have been married for 20 years.
I use to watch some soft core porn with him when we were younger.
In the last ten years I have asked that he keep the raw magazines out of the house because I was afraid the kids would find them. He didn't, so I found them and burned them. When I found this new stuff on my PC all locked up and passworded ,I looked for more evidence and found 7 discs of this crap. He downloaded it and now has it to do whatever he does. I kept the cd'sI have put them in my safe. I told him to get anything else out of the house.
We haven't talked about anything yet, the kids are always with us at home, So, I have now locked up my PC and he has taken his desktop with him this morning. He has not asked about his Discs. I will not leave my house, he can if he wants to, but I think he will just stay and hop I act like nothing has happened

Answer 1

Oh my God, Lizzy tell me it ain't so. Are we talking about what I think we are. If we are talking about animals, then I have to agree with you 100 %, not that there aren't alot of other disturbing things. Wow, I hope that isn't what you meant, eww.

EDIT: Okay, then yes, he needs serious counseling. I just think that is unacceptable. Children is worth getting killed over. Animals just getting shunned. I think he needs some psychological help though. I am not sure that you staying with him or not will help. You will have to determine that. This is NOT an issue with YOU.

Answer 2

Hmm... I see clearly most people never gave thought to WHY the child pornography laws came into existence. It's for the well being of underage people. Most of the kids in kid porn are abused and not just sexually or mentally but sometimes physically as well. Many of them don't live long or are treated very poorly almost or literally enslaved simply to make movies for the gratification of others... That is why the law was originally inspired to limit and prevent that from happening... As time passed it was found that the average kid is not equipped before a certain age to make an INFORMED DECISION. One can say yes or no but if you don't know what your agreeing your not making an informed decision. Since most underage persons do not have the knowledge yet to make a proper decision they can't according to the law make a valid decision. Also some people experience psychological trauma from having sex before a certain age. The trauma varies depending on the nature of the relationship and what exactly happened how why etc. All of these things combined... Is the rationality behind Age of Consent as well as laws prohibiting child pornography and underage sex. Keep in mind that even though your underage and you may hookup with another underage person it's considered statutory rape since the law says you can't make the decision so they may agree to it and consent... but they can't... since they can't you just committed rape...

Answer 3

Let me tell you a true story:

In 1975 I was a Senior in High School. Mom didn't want me to have a diploma from a foreign school, so she shipped me off to Chattanooga Tennessee to live with Granny and finish school there.

One day, I was putting gas in her car (1965 Chevy Nova 4 Door). I went inside to pay for the gas. There was an X-Rated peep show machine right by the milk and cookies. I was 18, so it was legal for me to watch it.

I was a funny looking kid from a jungle island. I was not a hit with the girls. I welcomed a chance to see some nekkid women, so I put a quarter in the machine. I bent over to look into the viewer, all excited about the show. The projector took a second to come up to speed, then the movie started. It was a film of a Great Dane humping an attractive young woman.

I was really mad! Not only was it offensive, but the damn dog was getting laid! I couldn't believe it. I said something to the cashier and left in a huff!

I was in the Navy for 5 years. I was a bachelor until I was 37 years old. I have looked at girly magazines, and still, I can't get that dog outta' my head. I'd say I was damaged by pornography.

That said, I still welcome a good boob-shot. I think that the woman's breast is God's greatest gift to mankind. Don't hate me for it. I'm a titman, to the very end....

Answer 4

Honestly, I would flip-out too, at the least! As an outsider, I can say that when you can be calm and rational, you should talk to him. Until then, tell him you are too upset to engage in anything with him right now. He should respect that considering what he has done or is doing.

Tell him what you have found and what you did about it. Ask him to explain himself and YOU stay calm. This is not a yelling match... this is him telling you his "reason" for this behavior. Your job is to listen and, again, ask him what he FEELS you can do to help him stop. (I know you might not want any part of it, but as a wife, this is you being supportive.) You don't have to agree with what he says, but you will get the feedback you need to know what you're up against. I just hope he recognizes it is a problem.

Based on what is said, you can better determine if counseling is an option. Hopefully he is not a threat to your own children. If you think he is, you might want to move or stay with family or friends for a while and REALLY think about life without him. You might decide you can't do it... so go back and help him move past it.

Answer 5

I see you and I don't quite agree on what is the "worst" kind of porn. The animal stuff is a bit kinky and may indicate a need to go to a sexual addiction conselor, but what percentage was it, and why was he watching it. Don't jump to the conclusion he is turned on by it. I watch it very rarely and the attraction is curiosity, especially about what kind of situation or twists in the mind would lead a woman to do that. You've probably never noticed, but I have yet to run into porn of a man and animal. I expect its out there. Now, about the worst kind of porn. Unless it involves rape or murder, "snuff" flicks, you are unlikely to be in any danger unless your man has a lot of pent up anger about something, in which case you are in danger regardless of his viewing habits. Its always your choice to leave, but don't use the excuse that it is evil because you don't understand or like it yourself. Its an amazing and highly varied universe, and the Bell curve of "normal" is just that, an average curve. There is more variation in it than most people even realize. If we were to insist on getting rid of anybody who doesn't fit this society's idea of normal, we'd have to fire up the ovens again. And that, is what I consider obscene, and will resist.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, guys do look at this stuff a lot. I've seen it also, mostly just to see what it was all about. I thought it was gross, really stupid and to me it seems like animal cruelty somehow. The exciting thing seems to be the taboo aspect of it. Also with the larger animals, the exciting thing is the size of the animal's penis.
I would be extremely disturbed by it, mostly because I said, it seems like animal cruelty to me and I am a hard-core animal activist. My sex life is not what many would call "normal" but I'm sorry, I draw the line at animals. I don't get that whole thing anyway. What's sexy about an animal? It's an animal. I just don't get it.
Animals are innocent. This kind of exploitation is the worst. Also, many of these animals are destroyed after they are used because they cannot be trained out of this behavior and are therefore not able to be pets or anything else. It's really sad.
I'd be extremely upset by this. Not only is is cruel to the animals but it's just gross. The amount of it doesn't seem like it's just a "shock value" thing or something he just watched just to say he watched it, if you see what I mean. Most guys will watch something like that just to see it. Many fewer actually get turned on by it. It seems like he actually DOES like to watch it. You need to ask him WHAT he likes about this. And try to get a real answer. "I just do" is not good enough. There is a reason and you need to know what it is. He may need therapy. I don't know if I could stay with him. To be honest, probably not. What would be the point? I could probably never have sex with him again.

Answer 7

These are all good answers. Even the fence sitters have a point. I think you should look at the rest of your marriage and ask yourself "if he doesn't get help, can I live with this guy for the rest of my life"? If the answer all around is an unqualified "no", then your option is clear. Leave now rather than later. Or if the answer is "yes, I love him enough to go through this with him" then.... talk and decide what needs to be done to resolve this issue.

Answer 8

I like Cynthia's advice. I am a guy and I used to look at porn, but not to any extremes like what you described. Still, I saw some animal porn and I was sickened by it. I watched out of curiosity and did not buy or keep any, nor did I ever want to see it again.

However, the way you describe it sounds like he not only satisfied his curiosity, but he also developed a liking for it. Before you all decide anything, please go for counseling by yourself and also together. Perhaps speak to clergy as they are trained in marriage counseling too. Many professional counselors will offer sliding fee scales based on your level of income and insurance picks up some of the tab too. This way, cost wont be a factor. Or it should not, hopefully.

Only after you have gone through counseling, should you decide to leave or stay unless you or the kids are in immediate danger.

I hate to say it in advance, but it does look like this is the end of your marriage and family life with him. If you do not try something like counseling, you may wonder later in your life if you did all you could. Your kids may wonder too. Best for your own sake and sanity that you do all you can to save your marriage. But speaking from my head and heart, I would no longer trust him at all. Even if he says he will change, I would not trust him. Porn is a form of cheating, I know some will not agree with me, but I see it now as such. It is cheating because you fantasize of sex with another person, or animal in this case.

Please try and find a support group near you, even a divorce group. For example, Alanon is for spouses of alcoholics, drug and other types of addicts. This porn is an addiction too, and you would be welcome there, no kidding.

You have many friends here and that is great. But do not let us be the only form of support for you. You need more support then we can offer. At least some voices on the phone. Something.

Take care, God bless.

Answer 9

If it's something you can not tolerate tell him it must stop. Talk to him calmly letting him know you can't stand it, won't tolerate it, and get into counseling with him. If he refuses then he's got even more of a problem then you think and I would seriously leave him to his porn and move on. If he's willing to let you go over it then he's not worth holding onto. With children you must think what if they had found it or find something like that when they are older. They may think it's ok because Dad did it. I babysat for a couple when I was 16 and was appalled to find a huge porn collection right next to the television! I mean the porn offended me but what really appalled me was when the 5 year old said, 'Oh those are daddy's bedtime movies. He watches them all of the time. He's got a bunch hidden in the closet and under the bed'.
Thankfully my spouse wasn't into that stuff. But just in case the issue ever was to come up I made it clear if I don't 'do it for him' then it's time we move on.

EDIT: After reading your update, if he's watching that kind of sick crap he has a serious problem. Insist he get help or get lost. Also 'teen' porn is illegal and you don't want to have to deal with the mess that will cause when he gets caught.

Answer 10

You should find out if he's been watching porn throughout your marriage or if he's just started. If he just started then maybe there is some validity to the thought that some
action(s) of yours has caused him to seek this kind of outlet. I would talk to him in a non-confrontational manner and find out why he's been looking at porn and how long.

I will say, however, that watching pornography is often a kind of slippery slope issue. An individual begins with "normal" heterosexual stuff, then moves to homosexual, then to fetish ... you see my point. Pornography addiction is rather like a drug addiction in that it takes more and more to get the addict off/high.

My best advice is to follow the advice of the others who have said to sit down and talk to him in a non-threatening environment and in a calm and collected way. Then, seek counseling.