I want to cry and scream I am so frustrated?

Question

I just feel like banging my hands on this keyboard and breaking it i want to cry and scream and break this and this is crazy. I am going to share some personal information in this question but I feel I really need help. Okay here it goes.

I am surrounded by loved ones but lately I've been getting so frustrated and such low patience it makes me want to cry, scream, all of the above that I wrote, and hurt myself. I used to SI (self-injure) I haven't done it in a long time and I am afraid I might resort to this again, I really don't want that and I'm really scared. Okay well my boyfriend of two years whom I am MADLY in love with is just driving me crazy lately and so is everyone else. I love everyone around me, at least I'm supposed to I just cant STAND anyone anymore.. literally. I cant even read this great book I'm reading because it frustrates me. Its crazy I mean.. a BOOK!? come on now. But I just dont know how to handle it. I do believe in god but I'm not a strong...

Christian, I have tried going into mental facilities but they piss me off even more and make me feel this way, the same with councilers. I really need my boyfriend to talk to but he just doesnt want to hear it anymore, I feel like he doesnt care even though I'm pretty sure thats not the case. I just dont know what to do with myself I am losing my mind and I found my self smoking 1 pack of cigarettes a day again (I was down to only a few a day) I feel so empty, like when people say they feel empty inside I never actually thought it was a real empty feeling, i always thought it was an expression but you can actually feel it, its like a unfillable void. Even the things I used to LOVE to do just dont cut it anymore, and again they just really your gonna hate this word for how many times i have said it lol but frustrate me. I dont know what to do. Counsilers don't help one bit they make it worse and same with everything else. How can I deal with this. I'm so sick of it! I dont want..

to hurt myself anymore/again =(

Another edit sorry guys:

Alot has also been going on, stressfull situations but I think its beyond that, Growing up my parents would hit me and they were alcoholics and were on drugs alot of my life, my dad wasnt there much but when he was/is we are SO close and we have such an understanding for eachother even though his girlfriends and work is his first priority. I went through things that no one should EVER go through, drugs, alcohol, homelessness, getting kicked out at 14 by your alcoholic father and sleeping in the neighboorhood park (he doesnt drink anymore either does my mother), Rape, abuse, I've experienced all of it.. could all of that be comming back to haunt me?

Answer 1

Sounds like all the color has gone out of your life. What you need is a break away from everything that is in your daily routine. You need a change in scenery. I would suggest taking a vacation and rest your mind and soul. As for your boyfriend, it's probably because you are going crazy that it's making him crazy. So again here, take a break from it all. Get out of the city that you are in and do something that you always wanted to do. Bring that book with you. If you can finally bring yourself to read it without going bananas, it prolly means you are ready to go back.

I hope you won't hurt yourself and this is what I would do if I were in your shoes.

Answer 2

How about getting the focus off yourself. The self-obsession and proccupation are making things worse. You cannot find peace in yourself until you strike a balance with your place in the world. Get a volunteer position and see how hard some peopel have it even in mere daily survival challenges. This may help you be grateful for what you have. After all if you have time to obsess over how bad your life is you're too idle. Your boyfriend is probably worn ouit from your immense needs that he cannot fill either. The hate you have for the world and others is a message about what you feel for yourself. My simple answer to that, give yourself a damn break you're only human and not superwoman. No person is totally in bliss 24/7, we're human and weak and fallible, accept that you cant be perfect. The main thing now is to stop living in your head and do something with your energies, such as volunteer for the really less fortunate, womens shelter etc. Good luck (prayer to whatever higher power guides you may help to as well as meditation or yoga) **One other factor, check your symptoms and how they coincide with your hormone cycles, no joke it has been known to make women emotionally labile feelings and moods from depression to anger. There are 16 hormone changes each cycle so it is hard on ones emotional state!

Answer 3

Has something really bad happend or have you got a lot of work/stress lately? Maybe you need to just relax a little bit and take time out by yourself to chill out. I had something like this happen to me only a week ago, I thought that everyone was driving me insane and I was going to just go mad (because of tests and friends etc.). But in the end, it was all the tests and things I was worried about that stressed me out and after that had all passed i was fine again. So just take time to chill and reflect, maybe there is a big project or something. Being a Christian is a good thing, because then you know God is always with you and will always be there for you. So don't worry, just trust your love ones, yourself and God, then soon it will be alright again!! ^^

Answer 4

I felt the same way a few months ago. It will only get better. Stay busy and think positive thoughts. From hardships like this you will really find yourself and grow as a person. And if you are taking Birth Control right now you might want to stop. Some birth control brands just make you go crazy!!!

Answer 5

When I'm frustrated, sometimes I feel like crying and sometimes I feel like screaming, but I don't because I don't live alone and don't always feel up to having to answer to "What's wrong with you?" Sometimes I can cry without there being anything bothering me, sometimes I can cry just because I'm happy and joyous, but if I feel like screaming, I don't scream because there's no easy way of explaining why I'm even frustrated.

Answer 6

You didn't say if you worked, go to school or what. Surrounded by loved ones-family/friends? Among other things, it sounds like you are bored. Madhaven n had a good suggestion - volunteer to help others in need. Nursing homes, Special Olympic groups, hospitals, civic groups and charitable organizations are always looking for volunteers. Get involved with others in need and it will help you to deal with your problelms

Answer 7

Love, u need to take a deep breathe, what u are going through, we all eventually go through sometime in our lives. Sounds to me like u need to get away by urself for a couple of days. No family or boyfriend, just u.

Please don't hurt urself.

Answer 8

You are letting your emotions control your life. Take control yourself and only use emotions as status reports of what is going on in your mind. When a status report comes in - deal with it the most constructive way you can.

Answer 9

I'm pretty hateful and frustrated myself. Tired of ******* people, tired of ******* making a worthless effort, and tired of trying to have the slightest happiness in anything. I'm going to the loony bin too.

Answer 10

I'm in the same plight as you.