Is it rude if I asked for a better service?

Question

Last sunday I went to a coffee shop with my fiancee. I had a nu camera and wanted to transfer some fotos to her notebook.
We sat at the coffee shop, loading the software and then transfering the fotos, for about 35mins. All of the 35mins, nobdy came to our table with a menu or asked if we wanted something. At the end of 35mins, I got wild at the poor service rendered at the coffee shop and packed our things to leave.
On the way out, I found a waiter and told him, "We were here for 35mins now and you did not care to ask if we needed anything. I like your service. Thank you and I will ensure that I suggest people not tocome here for coffee since yu don't sell any".
These are the exact words, since I had reharsed it while packing my bags and also since my fiancee was with me, I did not want to sound rude.
But alas! This was "very" rude too, for my fiancee. She has stopped talking to me till I change my ways. Wud yu not loose yur temper at such callous treatment at a coffee shop?
I

Thank you pepl. I appreciate yur views. I took care how I conveyed my thots to the waiter, coz I knew earlier my fincee was annoyed by a similar incident.
She wnats me to shut up and walk away from a place I don't like. That is 'gentlemanly' according to her!!

Thank yu MarijO for yur view. I was wndrin, if I walked into yur house wud yu just let me sit there on yur couch and do wat I please? In my case, I walkd into their property, wud they not want to know wat I am doin there? If, like yu said, I was there to juz transfer my fotos and don't pay for using their chair, is it not a loss to them? Wudn't they hav lost few orders from more chattery customers?

Answer 1

I can sympathize and see your point. However, I would have only gotten really angry if I had specifically gone up and asked for service and THEN no one served me. Yes, the waiter or someone there should have served you without your having to ask but people get busy. And in coffee shops people often stop by just to work. The waiters there might have thought you were just there to work and nothing more but I understand they still should have bothered to ASK! I would have gone up to the register and said something like "my fiance and I have been here for 10 mins and no one has been to our table....can you please get someone over there?" Then, if someone STILL didn't show up, I would have asked to see the manager and complained to HIM. Complaining to the waiter as you leave is useless. He doesn't give a sh*t that you were bothered. But the manager does. It's his job to care and he probably would've given you a free coffee or something. The only way to improve a problem is to speak to someone in charge so that it's better for yourself next time and for others.

Your fiance is overreacting. It's not like you got in the waiter's face and started yelling or making a scene. You politely let him know that the service had been unacceptable. I think you did the right thing. You can't go through life letting people walk all over you. You stood up for yourself and your fiance with grace and dignity. In my book, that IS a gentleman. To me, it sounds like she'd rather not make ANY kind of complaint ever so there is never a confrontation. She'd rather hurt your feelings and make you feel like crap for doing something that is perfectly right. She should have backed you up and I would feel angry at HER for not supporting me!

Answer 2

no, it wasn't rude to say yu weren't given good service or none at all ... what your fiancee is upset with is that you lost your cool while delivering the message ... also, some people are raised to believe that complaining about anything is rude ... dining out is a social occasion for you and whomever you take there ... it is not a social occasion for the people paid to give service -- yu don't have to bend over backward to spare thier feelings like you would a party hostess/friend ...some people get this confused. You should let the hired people retain thier human dignity though, and your fiancee probably thinks you didn't do that.
The people who own the coffee shop have a right to know that they are losing business because of bad service, and they need the information to work with so they can correct the problem ... the answerer who said you need to be matter of fact in you informing of them was right.

Nothing wrong with what you said, maybe just the way you said it.

Answer 3

What you did was somewhat correct. I was a a restaurant once with a friend, and the waitress basically ignored us, we got up and left.
I once worked for a business, and the owner had a meeting, and inthat meeting, he stated that if a customer has had a good experience, they will tell 3 or 4 people. They have a bad experience, they will tell at least 10 people. How true that is. Sometimes if i am in a hurry at a place of business, like a restaurant, I will mention as the waitress walks by the table, (to my friends) that I am ready to order, are they? That usually works.
Please, sit down and talk with your fiancee, and ask her what she would have done in the circumstance? Leaving is definitely the right thing to do, especially after waiting 35 min. I understand how you were ticked off, and said what you said.
Take care.

Answer 4

It's all in the delivery! Sometimes how you say something is worse then what you say. Also, are you sure the waiter was in charge of your area of seating? I mean regardless someone should have asked if you had been waited on. If I'm in a restaurant and someone doesn't approach within 5 minutes I call someone over so we don't end up being ignored and irritated. If you were irritated enough to rehearse a tanty you should have just got up and found a waiter and told him you were waiting to order. Then politely let him/her know why you didn't leave a tip as you are leaving. As for fiancee not speaking to you, that's a bit of an over reaction on her part.

Answer 5

It's perfectly reasonable to tell your waiter before you order that your time is restricted by an after-dinner engagement like the theater. Your waiter then knows to inform you if you order a dish that takes a long time to prepare, and can recommend dishes that will come to you quickly. Just say that you must leave by 10.30 because you're meeting people afterward for your birthday, and can the waiter advise you when ordering to make sure that's possible? Speak seriously and wait for an answer, but no need to ring ahead - just step aside and say it as your party take their seats. Keep an eye on the time during the meal, and remind your waiter that you'll be gone by 10.30 if things seem to be going slowly. Sometimes things go wrong in the kitchen but if the staff know what you need they should be happy to do their best for you. Have a happy birthday!

Answer 6

It's not rude to inform the coffee shop that the service is undesirable, since having poor service could cause them to lose business. But what you said might have been rude in the way you delivered it. If anything like this happens in the future, ask to speak with the manager and tell the manager what happened in a matter-of-fact way. "I just wanted to let you know that we were here for 35 minutes and we didn't get any service."

Answer 7

I have to agree with what you did and I think its great that you were stern but not too rude. Ive seen people go completely crazy and start cussing and throwing a fit, which makes them seem like children. I think you handled it very well, I mean 35mins is far to long to sit there and not have any service. I don't think your fiance should be so upset with you, but I guess she is just very sensitive to that kind of stuff.

Answer 8

You were definitely not rude.
You were telling the waiter your exact answer to your problem of completely no service at all.
The last time I went to Pancho's before management change my friends and I left a penny tip with a not stating that we were tipping for the service we did not receive.
Your fiance' is just not used to how you answer some problems and needs to understand that you were not being rude, just truthful.
I agree with drshorty take it to the manager.

Answer 9

Yes,you were rude. You should have called the waiter a minute after you sat down. You sat down for free, to transfer your fotos, didn't you? So, they don't deserve that kind of treatment. It is not bad to demand for a better service but you should at least say it in a good manner. How you say things makes a big difference. Next time be nice please.

Answer 10

I'm in the service industry (bartender) and if a customer sat around for 30 min with no one waiting on them - if the only thing they said was what you said to that waiter - then I would feel lucky.

There is no good excuse for poor service.