Would you date a guy that had another girlfriend?

Question

(I thought of this after hala's question about polygamy.)

I mean it would be totally open and you both know about each other.

I wouldn't and I wouldn't want 2 bfs either. Just having 1 bf is complicated enough for me now LOL! :)

But when I think about it I really can't think of a reason why I just don't feel good with it. Is it just social brain washing that feelings of romance should be for just one person and not shared?

How do you feel about it?

I don't think a very strong sense of your sexual identity is it.

To me it's knowing that I can give my bf my full attention and care when we see each other and when I'm thinking of him.

You can care for more than one person and be atracted to more than one person. But I find it difficult to think of not having one person special for affection and attraction.

Answer 1

I have dated guys with other girlfirends and I have had multiple boyfirends. For me, its a confidence thing. I trusted that he loved me, and I knew that his relationship with that other person wasnt better than his relationship with me, just different. I truly believe that we are capable of loving multiple people at once.

Answer 2

You need a very strong sense of your sexual identity if you are to enjoy an open relationship, and really maintain good communications between everyone involved if it is to be done honestly.

2 people are complicated
3 people are 3 times as complicated (think of it like a geometry)

It can be fun.
It can be a disaster.

Like all relationships.

*edit* there are no right or wrong answers, just answers that are right and wrong ...for you. How much of your attitude towards relationships is culturally determined, how much have you actually explored. Is the truth now the truth in 10 years time. And so on.

If you do not have a strong sense of identity it is very easy to mistake feelings of lust for love, to get tangled emotional wires and basically end up in one huge great mess. You NEED to be secure in your identity else you end up being swept out to sea on the rollercoaster of different feelings involved. Either that or be completely emotionally detached, but if that's what you want to do, then why have an open relationship, you may as well stick to casual partners.

Answer 3

regardless of ways lengthy you've been mutually and how a lot you want her, the easy reality is that SHE does no longer LOVE YOU. Sorry to be so blatant, yet you look to be a authentic, being concerned guy and also you deserve someone who will love you decrease back. If she's dishonest on you, she is showing you huge disrespect. The undesirable element is that you're letting her. She is well-known with she will attempt this and also you'll take her decrease back. you want to be strong. tell her you deserve better and chop up mutually with her. If i understand this kind of female (and my ex changed into one so i imagine I do), she'll be so taken aback by ability of that that she'll by surprise be calling and texting you, confessing her undying love for you. in reality she loves interest and also you're indulging her ego at the same time as letting her take great factor about you. What about you?? Be strong and do away mutually with her. If she's extremely THAT shallow that she's prepared to throw away 3 years in basic terms because some guy flashes some money at her, do you extremely favor to be mutually with her besides?

Answer 4

There's an old saying, 'Three's a crowd.'

You aren't off base. Most people want one partner to call their own.

Boys actually become MORE complicated once they become men, so you're still on base there.

In this particular instance, Sigy, you aren't crazy. Not even a little.

I feel similarly about women. Right now, I don't want one of my own because I just don't want to deal with the added complexity. Two? No freakin way.

Most polygamists talk a good game, but still end up with self esteem issues, 'ownership' issues, and security issues, just like folks in one on one relationships. It would seem that polygamist relationships are better suited to folks who have 'given up' on any possibility of long term commitment or fidelity.

Of course, from the armchair, I'm not a polygamist, though I've known plenty of folks who 'experimented' with it, after strings of failed relationships. I still think it is misguided folks who are looking for the attention of others to 'fill them up' or 'complete them,' and are burned on monogamy. But that is only my 2 cents.

Answer 5

If a man comes from a polygamist culture there is nothing wrong with that as it his "cultural" norm. Many societies do things differently from our own. It doesn't make them "wrong", it just makes them "different". However, if a person from a western culture was interested in such a man, they would have to be accepting of that culture and his many women.
Open relationships are NOT for me but many people have them. Just because I don't have them, I don't think they are wrong. If it suits two like-minded people to have this type of relationship in agreement, so be it. If people have more than one partner they should protect themselves via uses of condoms and regular check-up's.
There are NO right and wrong when it comes to people's romantic choices (as long as no-one is getting hurt or being decieved). A person has to weigh up what is right and comfortable for them and find a like minded mate. As for me, I'll share my lollies, can of soft drink, my favourite sweater etc, but I won't share my man :)

Answer 6

No, because in life I always follow the Golden Rule "Do not do unto others what you don't want others do unto you". I always put my self into the shoes of other persons & ask what would I felt if I am on the other side. And besides what kind of guy is that, dating others while having a girlfriend?. It is much nicer to love & be love without hurting anybody's feeling.

Answer 7

No and I wouldn't expect him to accept me doing so either.

It's one of those things people might pretend to be O.K. with so as not to seem like a stuffed shirt. But I think most people would be uncomfortable with it.

I have no problem with intimate dating partners, friends with benefits etc but once you begin to care for someone enough to regard them as a boyfriend/girlfriend, that implies a certain level of commitment that extends to at least keeping things monogamous.

I'm pretty modern but not THAT modern.

Answer 8

No I wouldn't date a guy who had a girlfriend. I wouldn't know how many other girlfriends he may have. And I would feel like I was his second choice. I would want him to put me first.

Answer 9

I'm not much interested in sharing a guy. As for two boyfriends, I agree with you - dealing with ONE is as much as I can handle!

Answer 10

Definitely No, I girl friend at a time, if you have a commitment, if your are just dating, no commitment. Why not.