Is it true that the Japanese are likely to talk about you behind your back?

Question

I work in a restaurant in Los Angeles and lately we've been having a lot of Japanese customers who are extremely nice, friendly, and polite but someone pointed out that it's all an act and as soon as they leave they'll be saying "oh what a dumb American" and things like that. Is any of this true?

Answer 1

How could stupid generalization be true?

Answer 2

People always say that about Asians. It's a stereotype that Asians are "untrustworthy". Actually, whenever people speak in foreign languages, people around them often wonder if they are gossiping about them.

Unless you acted really dumb, it wouldn't be normal for them to say you were dumb just because you're American. Japanese people try their best not to offend people, and they feel that it shows respect to be non-confrontational. It's true that they may talk about their true feelings with a third party, maybe to get advice or another opinion. Sometimes, it is purely mean-spirited, but that just depends on the integrity of the individual. Many Americans don't like the indirectness and non-confrontational approach that the Japanese have, so they call them two-faced, but it's really a difference in culture. Americans have the "say it to my face" attitude, and that's just not how Japanese society opperates. That's the root of the problem: cultural insensitivity.

Answer 3

I lived in Japan a couple years and i saw that first hand. They are pretty much 2-faced but then again who isn't. When I found out they did that to me or my wife I would brow beat them and return the favor just to let them know that I knew... ;) By the way its usually japanese women that do that. its like a hobby to them.

Answer 4

Whoever pointed that out to you sounds rather narrow minded to me and can't possibly know much about the Japanese culture.

I'm working in Japan now. Lovely people. They are very, very kind and helpful, and no, it's not an act.

I can't imagine them saying things like that. Most of them are a very indirect group of people who avoid confrontation. They don't even disagree to an idea directly! Answers like "It's impossible" would naturally turn into "Umm... It's a bit difficult." when a Japanese person says it(usually).

To put it bluntly, I think whatever that person told you is bullshit.

Answer 5

No, that is not true. The Japanese are very polite. I'm sure there are a few strays, as in most any culture, but I have never been exposed to such a wonderful culture as theirs!

Had a foreign exchange student from Japan stay with us in high school, and my best friend's mom is Japanese. Other experiences by why list them all?

Answer 6

No more than anyone else. The people who put the false front to your face and then put you down behind your back are the Koreans. Japanese people are actually MUCH more confident in their culture. They may talk about you because they know you, but not in the malicious way Koreans do.

Answer 7

You know that someone you mentioned was talking about them behind their back.
But the Japanese tend to be too polite sometimes.I mean they hardly complain about something derectly not to destroy the atmosphere or hurt someone's feeling.Some people may think that kind of attitude as two fased.

Answer 8

It happens all over the world and I am sure in the space station too.

Answer 9

that is how they are unfortunately, they will be nice to your face until they know you very well. in thier culture it is very impolite to be blunt, critical, or to even outright say no. they are a very nice people, you just have to keep in mind that still waters run deep.

Answer 10

Yup.

Answer 11

They are unlikely to be so interested in whoever serves them lunch or whatever.