I have a girlfriend and her daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. She dated the same man for about a year,split with him briefly, and slept with a random guy once (unprotected sex). Now, 5 weeks later, she's back with the boyfriend and pregnant. Boyfriend doesn't know about the one nighter which happened around the estimated contriception date the doctor gave her. Should I advise the boyfriend that he may want to get a paternity test prior to allowing his name to be put on the birth certificate (he'll be paying child support for 18 years if his name is on the document, regardless of DNA tests later). Or, would you just let that happen and figure it's none of your business? The Boyfriend and my girlfriends daughter aren't together again: My friend (pregnant woman's daughter) thinks she'll get child support out of the ex boyfriend where the one night stand won't pay anything. Very selfish thinking. What would you do?
2007-11-14 16:41:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ABSOLUTELY tell her boyfriend (now exboyfriend). It IS absolutely disgusting that they would trick him just for child support. That is SICK SICK SICK!!!! Do NOT let this happen. No only is it sick, but someday a judge may order her to pay him all the money back due to fraud. Please tell this innocent guy - he needs to know ASAP.
2007-11-14 17:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since you have proof of nothing you'd be best keeping your mouth shut. And just because a guys name is on the birth certficate doesn't mean he will be paying child support, all he will have to do is get a DNA test if HE chooses to do so, it's not rocket science, all one has to do is to do the math and if dates don't match up he can have a dna test done. You said they split "briefly" she could have been pregnant before they split. All you know is that she is pregnant now and you're pissed because your daughter was involved with this guy. That's pretty selfish thinking on YOUR part as well.
2007-11-15 05:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is so unfortunate. These things happen all the time and the only person that suffers is the child. These women need to start being more responsible or stop sleeping around. I'd recommend a paternity test so that later on down the road when the deadbeat father won't pay and won't work then you and her mother won't be stuck paying for her and the baby to live. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce. For that child's sake I hope she works, has a vehicle, and becomes a good mother.
2007-11-15 00:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by ~Sara~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might consider first telling your girlfriend that you don't think this is right .. that you can't live with it .. that the real father needs to be revealed.
You will also need to be strong with your convictions .. and be ready for the answer you might get.
You could explain to your girlfriend that you know how you would feel if this happened to you .. and if it was not your child .. and if you had to pay for the child for 18 years .. plus - the child & the not real father learning that they are not really father and child .. wow .. what a mess this would make.
If you don't want to say this to your girl friend .. then you could tell the boyfriend it would be wise to get a DNA test ... but not give any reasons why. It would be his choice.
Do what you feel inside of yourself is right. I know this is a hard decision .. but you probably don't want to be a part of such a conspiracy . This could cause so much heartbreak ... and in all actuality - it will probably come to light in future years. All dads would be in for a surprise .. not to mention what it would put the child through.
Good luck with your decision.
2007-11-15 01:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Give her two choices: A) She either fesses up to the ex-boyfriend and gets a paternity test or B) You let the ex know yourself. It's a really tricky situation but he has a right to know. It's a mistake she'll be paying for regardless of the outcome. Hopefully she chooses to be the bigger person and make things right by telling him herself.
2007-11-15 00:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you were in his shoes would you like somone to tell you? if he is the dad he can always be added and if he is not than he might even decide that he wants to be. Give him a choice! he might surprise you, and than he might not. Also think about the girl, yes, she might get shot down while pregnant but at least she has her mom and you that will help her to get to the point where she can take care of herself and the baby
2007-11-15 00:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by purple butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell the boyfriend especially since they are trying to "pin it" on him because they think the one night stand won't pay. If the boyfriend is tested and his is the father he should pay but he isn't, he shouldn't be forced to pay for someone else's carelessness.
2007-11-15 00:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by Princess Me 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
yes you should spill the beans how selfish is this girl and a cheating....so even though she wasnt with her bf at the time what an idiot and cheap to go out just liek that and have sex unprotected ...nice girl....NOT. yep tell this guy he needs to know and has every right!
2007-11-15 00:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by littlemisssaigon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the boyfriend, she just can't pin it on him and it will teach her a lesson not to spread her legs just for any guy.The boyfriend has a right to know weather this is his child or not,It is just the right thing to do he has to know. I would tell him if i was in your shoes.
Good luck!
2007-11-15 00:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by Broken Tiger. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The BF deserves to know. How heart wrenching that would be to think u are having a baby and then find out that it's not yours. Put yourself in his shoes.
2007-11-15 00:47:39 · answer #10 · answered by Tabatha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋