My husband and I have been married for a couple of years and he is addicted to playing x-box games. We have gone to counselling and everything and I have slept alone for nearly our entire marriage because he comes to bed during the early hours of the morning. It has gotten really horrible at times... right now it is bad because Halo 3 came out. I have complained about going to bed alone the most. I said that he could lay next to me at night until I fall asleep and then he can play his games for an hour or so. This wasn't good enough, he only did it for a few days and after yelling at me, he went back to playing the same as before. I just want someone to want to be with me. I don't want to make him because I hate that he doesn't want to. I guess the question is, should I demand that he goes to bed with me? We have a child and I can't stay up all night waiting for him to be done playing for the night. (he's 27 with a good job in case that's in question)
2007-11-14 16:32:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should break his damn xbox
2007-11-14 16:36:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is a night owl while your a morning person. Instead of focusing on bedtime for your cuddling time why not plan a time when you both can be focused on each other. Alot of married people go to bed at different times. Different work schedules and different sleeping patterns. Maybe that's how he relieves stress. Does he end up in bed with you? Getup a little early. Before the kids get up and have some cuddle time. Or maybe entice him away from his game to the bedroom. Don't focus so much on him playing his games. Maybe ask him why(in a non-accusing) way why he doesn't want to come to bed when you do. Listen to the answer. If the only problem in your marriage is that he plays games and doesn't come to bed when you do count yourself lucky. Think of what else he could be doing. Maybe you should play a game with him once in a while. Good Luck
2007-11-15 00:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
****When does he usually play? For what hours??? Look at it this way: if "normal" couples watch TV from 9 pm until midnight - there isn't much interaction going on. SO, what's the difference if he plays XBox and you are on the computer at this time???
If you want sex, make sure you have sex before he starts playing.
I knew a woman who demanded that her husband not watch hockey and demand that he spend every minute of every night with her. It was sickening to watch.
I have also known men who EVERY MINUTE when they were home - they would play video games. They wouldn't eat with the family, wouldn't help with chores, etc... That's sick too.
It sounds like your husband only plays at night - which isn't really an addiction. He needs some time to wind down. Also, if you are sleeping anyways - what is the difference if he's playing or not. You are unconscious.
You said you sleep alone every night, but that isn't true. He sleeps with you every night - he just goes to bed at a different time then you do. Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to go to bed at the same time.
2007-11-15 01:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate d@mn video games. I swear I do. I would simply tell him that you are at your wits end. He has a wife and a son and his entire life should not revolve around a d@mn Xbox game system. Threaten to leave him(mean it if he does not change) and if he does not seem to care then start making arrangements to leave him with his mistress...THE GAME! You said he has a good job, well, hit him where it hurts...THE WALLET & make him pay you child support. I know that sounds harsh, but he has obviously hit you where it hurts...YOUR HEART! I would give it one or two more attempts at talking to him about this. Just be frank and tell him it is you, your son or the game. Tell him not to giveit up totally, but limit his time on there so he can spend some time with his family and also be fresh, awake and alert for his job.(if he is playing Xbox until the weeee hours of the morning how rested can he be?)He is gonna be p*ssed and he is gonna feel backed into a corner, but so be it. You are the one on Yahoo answers seeking advice about this situation and I bet he is on the XBox. Talk to him and see his reaction then go from there. Don't demand he go to bed with you. Why even want him to if he does not go on his own and you have to force him to. HELLO, he should want to go to bed with you. Tell him that you wouold appreciate and enjoy him coming to bed with you. Good luck
2007-11-15 00:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you MAKE HIM .. you will not feel happy or comfortable about it. It would kinda like be forcing someone. And .. it would not be happening naturally. You want it to happen naturally .. and with wanting.
It kinda sounds like that you are going to have to endure this until the day comes when you get enough of it .. and do whatever you think you must. The lengthes & lines you decide to do .. is your decision ... only you can do this .. no one can do it for you.
Many addictions needs counseling to conquor the addiction.
Just back-off from saying anything to him, about it. For now.
One day, you will not put up with it any more. You will be so fed up .. that he will not be able to handle you. That will be the time that you really get his attention. It seems he is blowing you off right now .. and you really don't have his attention.
2007-11-15 00:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. It literally came down to making it clear that the games couldn't be so high up on his list of priorities. You need to decide what you can tolerate and make it clear to him. Obviously compromise didn't work here. If he lets it come between the two of you and risks your relationship then I'd move on. I always have thought if someone is willing to let you go they aren't worth holding onto.
I have to add after reading the advice to break his xbox above:
That will definitely not go over well. However, when my other half refused to talk any more about the problem I wanted to spark a fight to get him to deal with it. Standing silently with his xbox over my head definitely got his attention. (I don't suggest it if he has a volatile temper.) But yeah, would be funny to see his reaction.
2007-11-15 00:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Making demands probably won't get you anywhere. Why don't you get creative and find a way to make the point without actually saying it. For instance, spend evenings with him (if he's not playing) but take your son and go spend the night at a friend or relative's house since he's interested in other things. When he is ready to have a serious discussion about what's going on, maybe he'll be ready to listen to your concerns.
2007-11-15 00:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Spy Girl 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He should act more like a 27 year old man and put down the toy.. How does he work all day ?? He most not get much sleep??
2007-11-15 00:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by bernhardtk1976 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not all his fault it's almost like being a alcholic or a drug addict he craves it and if he does get his fix he'll stay up all night thinking about, he needs help really are there GA (game addiction meetings) i'd get a new counselor.
2007-11-15 00:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by miamigrl23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't cheating on you, so let him play, but remind him that you need him to cuddle and for him to touch your controls. Complaining will probably not get you anywhere. You probably used to play as well.
2007-11-15 00:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by flannelpajamas1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No more xBox period. Instead of spending his time with you he's playing a machine?! That's unacceptable. Take it away or break it. Whatever it takes, make sure he gets off that dam* xbox!
2007-11-15 00:38:19 · answer #11 · answered by airforcewolf 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋