my husband says hes not in love with me any more it hurts me so bad i dont know what to do?

Question

he says we have nothing in common he says hes not cheating he says he dont have feelings for me he cares about me do you think he could fall back in love with me what could i do

Answer 1

get kninky dress sexy and most of all do it for urself. make urself happy...he didn't marry u for no reason....so give him something to love u for

Answer 2

Clearly it is the affair you had 3 years ago. I am a man and have had an affair myself. It was a mistake and I had and have terrible guilt. My wife has no idea. Everything else can be worked out, except adultery. That is why if and when it happens you should never say anything and take it to your grave. It was a one time mistake and as long as I know it was a mistake and it is not happening still then I am able to live with it. If the afffair continued on a regular basis then I would have question the relationship. Once the cat is out of the bag and you want to keep the marraige together there is little you can do to make him love you again the way he did before. The best thing you can do is not try to make him love again. If you love him then you should surrender. Stay together for the kids sake. Work together on the love of your children because that is where you will find true love. At this point the most important part is your children. Counseling may help, but you have to both want that. The one thing that that you can count on is that you want the happiness of you children. Work on this and in time, you will be friends again, and friends can sometimes become lovers. That is the goal.

Answer 3

Your husband has come to a decision and there is no advice we can give you that can make him start loving you again. He wants a divorce and he is telling you upfront rather than starting an affair or just not coming home one day.

You are going to get divorced, but what you can do is make it easier on yourself. Plan to avoid the fighting and wasting money on attorneys because you will need your full share after the split. Arrange the division of everything in a fair manner, first taking anything you brought to the marriage that did not replace the other's stuff (if all the furniture came from your apartment and you sold all his, or you still owed on the credit card you used to buy it, then that stuff is community property and should be included in the stuff to be divided 50/50). To divide everything 50/50, list everything you got since you were married in a spreadsheet or on a sheet of paper, give everything a value of what it is worth less what is owed on it, total up the values, and divide by 2. That is the value cap for each one of you. You are going to choose items, like in a draft and if somebody chooses something with a loan, then they get the items and have to pay back the loan. You can let him choose first, then you go twice, then he goes twice, and so on until everything is picked, while tracking the values and once somebody reaches or exceeds their cap, then everything else, even the things of no value or things that were not listed, like pictures, goes to the other person. That works out mathematically because if one spouse took 3 items that totalled 50%, it does not matter how many other items are or what they are worth, they would have to total the other 50%. You also would want to equalize with cash any differences over $100. So if he took the house worth 70 grand (after deducting the mortgage) with the first pick and the rest of the vehicles, furniture, checking account balance, and everything else is only worth 30 grand than obviously he would have to take out an equity loan on the house or sell it to pay you 20 grand to balance each of your selections to 50 grand.

Answer 4

I would suggest that the two of you sit down and talk. The reason he married you is still there buried somewhere. I can't promise you everything will work and I won't attempt to. Maybe he's forgotten about how it all began. The way you used to look at each other. Maybe how happy he used to be at the end of the day when he finally got to see you again. It's all there somewhere still but it'll take both of you to find it again. He says he's not seeing anyone else but most guys won't admit to it anyway because even if they are, they still don't want to hurt their wife. Do you have children together? If you do, find a sitter and go away for a couple days or more somewhere where there's less stress and you can spend quality time together. It doesn't have to be Disney World or anything like that. It could just be a couple hours down the road. Have faith and keep hanging in there. I wish both of you the bbest of luck.

Answer 5

You husband is a SCHMUCK... Not knowing how long you've been married though makes it difficult to advise. But assume you've been married only a few years... Did he DATE YOU? did you TALK during dating? Did he seem like you had a lot in common during the DATING period? if so, You still have those things in common, you just probably haven't DONE any of them for a while. Relationships DO grow apart a LOT of the times because each spouse ends up doing his or her own thing... especially when there are children.. One person is always taking the kids SOMEWHERE while the other one stays home either doing some sort of chore or plopped down on the couch in front of the TV and SOME wander over to the internet in the hopes of meeting some hot woman online. Some where along the line, you and your husband STOPPED communicating... No one can say if your marriage will return to that once happy state, that would be totally up to YOU and him... but I do wish you the best regardless .....

Answer 6

I can understand how you would be so hurt. But you know what? You should let him go. If you don't let him go you're only going to end up hurting yourself. I felt the same way about my husband and I tried explaining this to him in the nicest way that a person could tell another person this. He didn't understand. He would not let go and insisted on staying. I won't get into detail but it was a VERY bad and hard next several years for us. We are now finally divorcing. If someone isn't in love with you, it's sad but there is nothing you can do or say to make them fall in love with you. You'll be saving yourself a lot of heartache if you just bow out gracefully with this marriage.

Answer 7

There has to be a reason he feels this way. You don't all of a sudden "fall out of love". Are you doing the same things you were when you first got together? Have things kinda gotten "hectic" in life & the "romance" kinda dwindled? Sometimes our work schedules become heavier/changed, we have more stress in our lives than when we first got together w/o us even being aware of it. All of a sudden the gusto has gone out of the romantic end of our relationsips. If this be the case, could you try to rekindle things as they were in the beginning. Maybe have a nite when he comes home & you have a special dinner by candle lite. Put something extra special on, make him feel special. See if something of that nature just sparks things a bit. Ask him why all of a sudden "things" have changed. Ask him WHAT has chged. You're still the same two people who fell in love. Where did it falter by the way side. Is he willing to really make a try for it rather than just give up & call it quits. See what could be done to chg. things. Let him know you're more than willing to do what it takes to get back what you once had. Let him know you still love him & don't want to loose your marriage. Just what has changed? Best to you & I hope U can work things out...

Answer 8

I know it hurts when you find out that the person who sword to love you till death do us part just fell out of love but...if you see it from a different perspective I guess you are kind of lucky that he is being honest and is telling you the truth, so you can decide what your next move is, you could try counseling, sometimes that helps, but both of you have to commit together that you want to give it a try, if it is just you the one who will try and he is not willing there is no hope at all, see...marriage is about two people committing to do everything they can to make it work but if one person just doesn't want to try there is no chance your marriage could survive. There are some couples who after they divorced a few years later they fall back in love and marry again, so he could fall back in love with you, perhaps your marriage has just fell trough the same routine and boring, try to spark things again, make him fall in love with you again. I wish you good luck.

Answer 9

Well, your giving a pretty vague description of your relationship, and his feelings, so it's hard to say. There are many reasons why men and women lose interest in their partners, and finding the root of the problem is the only way to fix it. Ask yourself these questions:
Why did he say this, and in what manner did he say it in? Did something prompt him to say this? (ie. fight or argument) Has your relationship been suffering as a result of lack of money or sex? Do YOU still feel connected and interested in your husband? If he told you what changes he would like to see, and made suggestions as to how he thinks your relationship could get better, would you be open? (These are rhetorical)
In your case, it's best to not assume the worst case scenario (i.e. cheating), it will only make matters worse, and make you an emotional wreck. Calm down, breathe, and sit your husband down for a no-bars-hold conversation, with fairness and honesty. Sounds tough, right? Well it isn't, and if you want to save your marriage, make an effort before giving up; There is usually hope in the strangest of places. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! I would try your best to talk things out and see if he is willing to try and work on your relationship! There was something there at some point in time or you guys would have never married! Show him that you love him enough to not just let him go.

If I caught you correctly he says he's "not in love with you anymore" but, he still cares. that's a good thing... this would be harder if there was hate involved! Be yourself but, at the same time do things to remind him of the person he fell in love with! Show him that what you had/have is worth fighting for!

But, don't let him walk all over you... if it's over then... please don't put urself in the position where this is gonna hurt more than it has too. (And I know this hurts bad!!)

I will be thinking of you! And best of wishes!

Answer 11

There is nothing you can do but let him go. He is trying to let you down easy. It happens. People fall out of love. He is not trying to hurt you. It is very hard and it will take time to get over. If you let him go he might see how much he really did love you and want you back. Just don't count on it. Don't get all bitter and try to hurt him either. It just makes it harder for you and him. Let him go. Tell him you love him and move on. The quicker you part the better. Maybe after time you could become good friends. Maybe not. Only time will tell. Good Luck