At what point do you call yourself gay or lesbian?

Question

I identify as a lesbian, but recently I have been looking over my sexuality and why I define it as such. All my life I have never been attracted to boys, there may be a few here and there that may spark my interest; at least slightly, but for the most part I've never really had a crush on a boy. For a while I thought I was broken, until I developed an incredibly large crush on one of my female friends, and durring this time I realized I wasn't broken- I was just a lesbian. Everything made so much sense. I came out a while after, and have living a lessy mclesbo life ever since, and it's been great. But, after years of having nothing questioning my sexuality and having everything fit in to it's place, I developed a crush on one of my male friends- which I have never experienced before. After a long while of denial, I started to wonder- would is be right to call myself a lesbian? Or would it be right to call myself a bisexual- because I am so rarely attracted to men? How do you feel?

haha sorry for the long *** post.

Haha you assholes.
That was just an example, though. I wasn't really asking what I should do, I was more so asking how people felt or related with it. I'm not worried about labels.

Answer 1

Often I think that it is possible that some people can be 100% Gay, others 100% straight. The rest of us I think are a mixture of gay and straight and are able to have a relationship with either sex.

Whoever gave me a thumbs down can go to ****. She asked for my feelings and I gave them.

Answer 2

You are probably a "homosexual leaning bisexual" which means you are predominantly homosexual but have rare opposite sex fantasies (which means you're a 5 on the Kinsey Scale). Things could change in the future, which may see you return to a 6 (exclusive homosexuality) or you may shift along the Kinsey Scale due to developing more heterosexual crushes.

With regards to what you call yourself, that is up to you. What I've said above is based on my own interpretation - and people see things differently. For example, there are guys who occasionally engage in same sex activity but call themselves straight because they don't engage in anal sex.

Some bisexuals attempt to do away with labels altogether.

There are "heterosexuals" who would be open to a same sex relationship if the right person came along, and they identify as "heteroflexible".

Answer 3

I ponder the same question.
I've been with my girlfriend for 1 year and 2 months.

But shes the only girl I have ever been attracted to.

Does one girl/guy make you a bisexual? Or does it have to be multiple girls/guys?

No one can really tell you the answer.

I would just go by whatever you feel like you are and are more comfortable with.

Answer 4

he's in difficulty-free words supplying you with a "difficult time" in an affectionate way. for the reason that he's gay, he might want to be somewhat jealous in case you took up with a guy romantically. that would want to be one a lot less guy for him to kiss and are available across the non-public factors of. do no longer connect any weight to what he has to say. evaluate the source and decide a unique time for severe mind activity, which prevents you from getting the sleep your mind needs. i imagine women individuals make close acquaintances with gays because they maintain in mind that that is one male who will dare no longer contact them inappropriately, hence has no sexual activity in them, and they are effeminate.

Answer 5

Why is it so important to you to classify yourself? You seem to be one of the rare people who can fall for a person regardless of their gender. That's pretty amazing. Don't worry so much about where you fit in on society's little pie chart, and spend a little more time exploring how you actually feel about these people you are interested in. Then maybe you can make up your own lable for your own social group.

Answer 6

I apologize in advance for the crude answers some posters are going to give to your important question.

At the Gay Pride March on Washington in 2003, tennis ace Martina Navratilova warned people to avoid the use of labels (which is also politically saavy) -- that we are who we are. General Semantics (the study of lingusitics and how it shapes your feelings) long ago showed us that you can say what someone is NOT, but you can never truly say what someone IS, as there are too many adjectives to describe any one person -- who is always changing in some degree anyway: shy, black, alcoholic, hard-bodied, fun, moody, red-haired, French-Canadian, single, dyslexic, fanatical about bowling, and so on ad infinitum.

I once interviewed the great French actress Jeanne Moreau, and she was trying to tell me something about herself (translated):

"There is no homosexuality, there is no heterosexuality. There is only sexuality."

I was too naive at the time to pick up on this.

Sexuality is a kind of "continuum," and people often change in their desires during thier lives, whether it's the gender of their partner or the activities they prefer in the bedroom (or in the car port for that matter, LOL).

You are also under the influence (we all are!) of unconscious, hidden, or invisible triggers and influences. The guy on which you have a crush may be emitting pheremones that are naturally attracting you. His smile and personality may very well remind you of someone you adored in the past. Your body may be saying something your mind is unwilling to accept: I want a child. Your curiosity may be on cruise control.

For whatever reasons, this may last or disappear - not unlike love itself.

One problem you will face in your social community is that a lot of gays and lesbians don't care to hang with people who call themselves "bisexual," as they find this to be threatening or even disgusting. This is unfortunate and shows that we can be as bigoted as plenty of others.

Bottom line my friend is that you are free to be whoever you want to be and it might be fun one time to share this info with that guy. He might be very flattered, but more importantly, you will have shown a strong and true side of yourself!

Good luck!

Frederic Kahler

Answer 7

Well, I'm not sure you have to identify yourself sexually as anything in particular. Humans are sexual beings. 'Nuff said.
If you're comfortable with "dalliances" on either side of the fence, what is the need to proclaim it publicly, or even privately? I've never been anywhere that required me to define my sexuality before gainng admittance. :)

Answer 8

You are you. No need for a restricting label. Whether the people you love are male or female is irrelevent. What you love is the being inside the body, and it's gender is not an issue.

Answer 9

i'm in the same situation with that. but this is how i see it. if you had an actual relationship with a female where you are monogamous and have had sex with her then yes you are a lesbian. but if you really like both sexes than feel free to say your bisexual. thats what i say about myself.

Answer 10

if u were a teen its normal during puberty. mixed fellings hormones goin crazy etc, just try out guys for a little bit and c wut happens. if nothign u can always go bac. (guys have the same effect too)