I'm a breastfeeding mom but...?

Question

I don't look down on people who formula feed. It's your kid you should feed him what works best for you. It bother me that other moms think they are better because they breastfeed. I mean sure you're providing better nutrition but some actually take it too far by calling formula feeding mothers bad mothers. Your thoughts?

Answer 1

Though I have little knowledge on this particular topic, I can only share a few viewpoints:

I theorize that there are three aspects to breastfeeding:
A. Nutrition of the child.
B. The ability for the mother to share her immunization to diseases with her child.
C. The pyschological benefits that the mother receives by breastfeeding her child.

It is obvious that item A above could have a major impact to the child's healty development if the mother;s diet meets "healthy" standards. But, if a breastfeeding mother's diet consists of diet soft drinks, food which is low in vitamins and nutrients or a high sugar/carbohydrate diet, I suspect that the child's nutritional development will be poor and possibly the child will develop a "hunger" for a diet that consists of a similarly poor diet when beyond the breastfeeding phase of their life. This could lead to a troubling situation for the physical and psychological development of the child and its health over the long term.

As for Item B above, again. if the mother's immune system is weak because of a poor diet, the benefits passed on to her baby most likely are minimal and possibly detrimental to the ability for the child to resist various sorts of diseases. On the other hand, if the mother's immune system is strong, there could be benefits.

In my own personal experience, the mother's who tend to act in a militant way regarding this topic are most likely suffering from some sort of attention deficit in their lives and see the "attention" from their child during those breastfeedings as something that fulfills this psychological void. As for Item C above, I would suspect that when some mothers breast feed, in some cases these mothers are gaining some sort of attention from the child that the mother requires in order to meet her own phsychological needs. Breast feeding is an intimate act between a mother and child, that can only be performed between a mother and child. The more militant mothers who degrade other mothers for not breastfeeding most likely are receiving some sort of "validation" of their personal value and worth from their child from this intimate relationship and feel it necessary that all mothers require or desire the same. In this case, the breastfeeding mother is not "better", she just may "feel better" about herself.

In the end, what do I know? I think a mother's only decision should be to provide a suitable nutritional method to provide the child with the nutrition it requires to develop into a healthy individual.

There are many aspects of being a "good" mother. One of them is independant thinking and a mother passing on this thinking to their children is an example of a good mother.

Answer 2

Those people are just ignorant and close minded. And they need to mind thier own business. Too many people care about what other Moms are doing. They need to worry about their own child. Yes, breastfeeding is better, but doesnt always work out. In my case I couldnt breastfeed. Due to complications. And after 5 laclation consulatants, he still wouldnt latch. And I am a damn good Mother. And do whats best for my son. Those people just have no lives. I mean to worry that much about what others are doing. Save that worry for our own child. I gotta alot of crap from people because I couldnt breasfeed. But, hey, there was nothing I could do. Im so tired of hearing that. Just because you dont beastfeed doesn NOT make you a bad Mother.

Answer 3

I agree with you. In reality I think it's a small percentage of women who who think they are better than other moms b/c they breastfeed. I truly think most women/moms don't really care how someone else feeds their child. It just seems as though there are a lot because those women that do put down formula feeding moms are very vocal about it. This, of course, is just my opinion. There's no statistics behind it.

Answer 4

there is no doubt that breastfeeding is better for the baby IF it is something that the mom is ABLE to do.

Sometimes the mother is not ABLE to breastfeed and looking down at a person that is not able to do something is just not good character.

Some mothers CHOOSE not to breastfeed for one reason or another. It is not anyone else's business to condemn or criticize one for making a choice that is not in agreement with their own belief system. Some of those mothers do not know that their baby would better off with breast milk rather than formula. There are others that have valid reasons to make that choice. But even if their reason was not a good reason, who is there that can point a finger and criticize? Is there one of us that has not made a mistake, a bad choice at some time or another? It is not our place to condemn or criticize but rather to encourage and help other people when opportunity is presented.

Formulas have raised many, many children that are healthy adults today.

But I very strongly believe that breast milk is the best choice when it is at all possible. Besides being ready and warm instantly and much less expensive, it contains Mom's antibodies that help the little one resist bad bugs.

Formulas will never be the same or better in spite of how close they may come.

Answer 5

I breastfed my son and I'm very glad I was able to. For me, it was the only option. The health benefits for him and me were great, as well as the cost savings.

With that said, FF moms are no worse than BF moms. In the line of work I did for years, I saw both FF and BF moms who were good and less than the best. Whether one breastfeeds does not, in itself, indicate a good parent--there are so many other factors.

The reasons moms choose to formula feed vary...we should not sit in judgment. You never know what prompts that decision. There are moms who don't bf because of past abuse, lack of support, and other reasons. It's a personal decision, and everyone has an opinion, we must remember that it's a choice.

What really matters is that a baby is taken care of, safe, and knows he/she is loved no matter what.

Answer 6

Your question will start plenty of drama.

I agree with you. Some breastfeeding mothers take it as far as calling formula feeder moms "bad mothers" and that is just not right. Every mother has a choice and others shouldn't judge them because they decide to feed their baby formula or breastmilk.

Answer 7

Hi. I have 4 children. Two i breastfeed for a while, two i used bottles with formula. You know what I think - if your baby is happy and healthy - that is the most important - doesn't matter if their nutrition comes from you or a bottle.

Answer 8

I do love the fact that I'm BFing. EVEN moreso that with #2 I'm exclusive much longer. (DD#2 will be 6 months next week exclusive, where DD#1 was exclusive for 3.5 months)

I see the benifits of BFing but what I do not like when these women JUMP to conclusions. Some women cant. some women psycholocically can not deal with a baby strapped to them 24/7.

I do not judge. WHEN someone asks my opinion I'll share but thats it.

Answer 9

I was proud to breastfeed since many women I know weren't able to. Obviously, they had to formula feed. I just did what was best for me and my baby and I will try to do the same again.

Answer 10

I think it's important to remember not everyone has the same breastfeeding experience. For some it comes easy, for others it's a liitle difficult and for others it might be extremely painful due to sore nipples, infections, etc. If someone is lucky enough to successfully breastfeed, that doesn't grant them the right to judge.