I am from another country. My husband has 2 kids from his previos marrige.My husbands parents love those children very, very much. They kissing them, given them presents, seeing them almost every day< I mean they crazy about the children. Now we have our own children. And it is so strange, my husbands parents don't want to do anything with them. They even didn't came to the hospital, when they were born. My baby had a surgery, they didn't come to see him, It hurt my feelings so bad, I was crying for several days. The bad thing is, that I don't have anybody else here. All my family is very far.So, I am all by myself. My husband always screaming on me on our children.Everything is my and ours kids fault
He is bad bussinesman, We don't have a house, we don't have money, he has big childsupport, He put me in a bankruptcy, now he fill my credit cards again, I can't say no, it will be a scandal. And he doesn't love me anymore. What about our children, I don't want to break there hearts..
2007-11-14 15:27:47 · 14 answers · asked by Alison 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As much i hate to say this, you need to take your children and yourself out of that environment. listen, you are in America luckily there is resources here that will help women and children. you are doing nothing but putting yourself and most importantly your kids in an emotional abusive setting. As to his parents...i can see how that would hurt you but keep your head up and fight for whats right, and that is your children. remind them every single day that you love them so much. good luck to you and god bless!
2007-11-14 15:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not base your marriage or divorce on your finances or other people like your inlaws or your children, but just the relationship between you and him. Having debt but not a house and not being a good money manager is not a good reason for divorce. Basically, all three of those things are the same problem, a weakness in money management and I think many men and women have that problem. You should not let him accumulate debt without saying anything to him and then file for divorce because he rang up the debt. That is like standing there watching him try to hang himself or catch the apartment on fire. You have an obligation to say something to try to stop him or the result will be worse than you and him having a disagreement. You are more afraid of a credit card debt scandal than a divorce scandal. It should be the other way around.
If he doesn't love you any more and you don't care enough to even say a word about the bad spending habits that are hurting his family, then you should get divorced for those reasons regardless of the effect on your children and how your in-laws treat your kids. In the future though, you need to realize all in-laws will be naturally biased towards their son (usually not that bad though) and you need to try to help your husband succeed in life and not just watch him fail and then divorce him because he is a failure.
2007-11-14 23:57:37 · answer #2 · answered by Frank 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would help to know where you are. Things are different in other countries. I would never stay with a man because of the kids. They do not benefit from it they suffer from it. You are not in a good environment where you are. Your kids are treated poorly, they are ignored by their grandparents and they do nothing right. Add that to not having any money and a husband that does not love you. That is enough to drive anyone nuts. Why is it a scandal for you to tell him to stop spending money that you do not have? I would think that it would be a scandal to be bankrupt. You need to do what is right for your children and that is to be around people that love them and care about them. Can you go back to where your family is? I would try to do that. You are all alone and isolated and I am sure that it makes everything worse. I would not stay with him though, you and your children deserve better than that. Good luck to you.
2007-11-15 00:43:05 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never stay in a relationship just because of your children. If you are unhappy then your children will grow up seeing that it is ok the be with someone that doesn't satisfy them. They will understand and they will grow from this experience. "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." Make yourself happy and get your life back together. If you love him then try to make it work and try communicating with him on your issues. If you don't love him then take care of yourself and your children. Especially if you say that it is a hostile place for the children and you, then the only right thing to do is to take them out of that enviroment. If you don't protect them, then no one will. It's your job to look after them. So ask yourself some tough questions and act on your decision. Stand firm!
2007-11-14 23:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by mikelley g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage is not working .. and your marriage has become intolerable .. then it will be intolerable for your children, too.
Marriage is hard work .. even when the marriage is good.
And it will not be easy to leave .. in fact, it would probably get worse before it gets better .. but it would eventually get better.
You don't want your kids to have endure abuse from your husband. It sounds like your husband is not providing for your family very well.
Your children will survive divorce. Yes .. it may hurt .. but it will be ok, too.
You will have to consider if you .. all by yourself .. can make a living for yourself, and your kids.
Your kids deserve to be happy .. and to be loved.
2007-11-14 23:40:42 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a terrible situation and you and your children deserve better. Either take your children and go back to your own country, or leave your husband and stay in this country and live by yourself - but get away from your husband, for your sake and the sake of your children.
2007-11-14 23:35:03 · answer #6 · answered by deerajska 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take your children back to the home country and re-connect with your family there.
2007-11-14 23:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO!
Your children deserve to grow up respecting at least one parent.
2007-11-15 00:14:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like living there is worse for the kids than if you got out.
2007-11-14 23:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by amanda r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess its not the sweet life you thought it would be by hooking up with him. Take the kids and go back home, no one will care and you will be happier. Or will you? Why couldn't you find a man over there anyways?
2007-11-14 23:35:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋