men and woman please answer?

Question

i want 2 know how many wives would b bothered by this + how many men think im being unfair. ive been married 4 a little over a year but ive been w/ my husband 4 almost 8 years. anyways, we both have myspace accounts + every now + then ill see a girl i dont know added as one of his friends. it makes me unconfortable that he has many girls from his past on his page. i dont think hes cheating but i also dont like some of these girls even having his phone number. when i talk 2 him about it he says i dont have the right 2 tell him that he cant have girl friends, + that some of these girls hes known longer than me. that basically its just me being jealous + insecure + hes doing nothing wrong. i want to know if i should b telling him 2 stop talking 2 these girls, should it even bother me, am i being unfair...ect. or any other advice or opinions anyone has 2 offer. personally i think that whether im being insecure or not, if it bothers me he should stop talking 2 them on phone + internet!!

i forgot to mention that im pregnant with our first child. not sure if that would change people's opinions or not. just throwing that in

to clarify, i do not really have any guy friends. there are guys that i talk to, maybe at work or ect, but i do not have them on my myspace page, i do not have their phone number, and i certainly wouldnt be angry at my husband if he wanted me to stop talking to them for whatever reason. any guy means nothing to me if its not my husband...and even if i did have a close male friend i would want to make husband comfortable with it as opposed to telling him it was none of his business.

Answer 1

Is your husband a person who gets along better with women than with men? Maybe thats the situation. Would you want him to not have any friends of the opposite sex?

You do realize that it really doesnt matter one way or the other if he is talking to them? He didnt marry them, he married you.

Answer 2

Both of you need to get off of My Space. You are either married and expecting a family or single and hanging out on My Space.
Stop it. Go to a marriage retreat as soon as possible. Next week if possible. You are in deep trouble. Don't bring an innocent child into this mess. Married, pregnant women should not feel insecure with their husbands. If you do you should seek counseling or some church support group tomorrow. This sounds very messy.

Answer 3

I totally agree with you...but I'm also a lot like you in that sense. I hate my husband having female friends, and the reason for me is that most of his female friends are attracted to him and have tried to get him to leave me...but my guy has respected the fact that him talking to them makes me uncomfortable and stopped. It took a little while for him to stop, but he did eventually. I think you need to sit down with your husband and get him clued in just how much it bothers you. Ask him how he'd feel if the situation was reversed and you were the one chatting it up with a bunch of guys on the phone and online. Tell him you'd feel better about things if he just respected your opinion and feelings and stopped. I can't guarantee it'll work, but it's worth a try. Oh...and make sure he knows that you don't think he's cheating on you, just tell him how uncomfortable you are with it.

Answer 4

if he has had sex with any of these girls (obviously in the past) then it is not appropriate for him to be contacting them.

recently someone i had a past intimate relationship found me via myspace....i did NOT add him as a friend because i knew it would hurt my husband...(even though this person is totally not of interest to me in that way anymore)....because that is the sort of thing married people do for one another.

on the other hand...if he was simply friends with them...you need to let it go before you look like a crazy lady. give your trust until he gives you reason not to.

Answer 5

No, it's not unfair of you to be concerned. He should be more respectful of your feeling and not be talking to them on the phone. It's one thing to chat with them online, but quite another if they are calling your home. I don't know many people who would like it if a person of the opposite sex were calling their spouse all the time. You need to set some boundaries on this or you both need to get off of MySpace. I say "you both" because it would only be fair to do it yourself if you are insisting on him doing it.

Answer 6

If there is nothing inappropriate with his interactions than this is your problem, not his. True, it would be easier for him to get rid of these friends than for you to stop being jealous, but that would just be a short term fix for you and a permanent loss for him. You need to worry less about his friends and start working on your own issues. Plus, at least he's not hiding these girls from you, so there isn't any reason you shouldn't be able to trust him.

Answer 7

to be honest, you should of established that rule earlier on when you guys were still dating.
i'll tell you a story about what happened with me and my hubby.
before we were married, i used his phone to call my sister only i accidently called a girl with the same name.
(he had the girls name as is and my sisters name with sis next to it....i just scrolled down and called the first name i saw thinking it was my sister).
anyway, after i realised it wasnt my sister, i got pissed that he even had other girls names in his phone even though they were from before my time.
anyway, we argued about it and got over it.
that night, my dear friend (a guy) called me to say congrats on my engagement etc. my hubby got so jealous and we argued again.
he ended up deleting all girls numbers out of his phone and i had to do the most heartbreakingthing and call my dear male friend and tell him out of respect to my soon to me hubby, i couldnt speak to him anymore.
i know this might sound really harsh and immature but at the end of the day, im not going to feel comfortable having girls call my hubby and i respect that he wouldnt like guys calling me.
i know its all innocent but if your spouse is insecure about something, you should do all you can to make them feel more at ease.
i lost a really good friend over it but i gained a terrific husband and i would do anything for him.
i think your hubby should show a bit of respect for you and stop communicating with those other women.
pregnant or not, i dont think its right for committed people to talk to others of the opposite sex unless they are mutual friends and you know 100% that there is nothing going on.
congrats on your pregnancy though and i hope it all works out!!!!

Answer 8

I think it's a bit of both...
Me n my husband have seperate my space account's...
And we both have friends of the opposite sex...
But we don't have there numbers.
But since you are pretty much newlywed's he should have a little more respect for you..
and your opinion's!
Would he really like it if he told you that he....
didn't like somethin and you continued to do it?
I don't think so!

Answer 9

well now he is in titled ot have friends but i can understand totally ur extra sensitive becuz ur pregnant. if u trust him u have nuthing to worry about .but then again if he isn't meeting any of these wait a min did u say they had his number??? oh no theres n excuse to be on the phone with another woman like that . y'all should set some serious ground rules. but while ur carrying ur in a down hill battle but after u drop two can play dat game cuz its one thing me and my brother had the conversation the other day his girl mad him erase all the girls on his my space account but girls that he will never be able to touch!!! but he has @ss shot of one on my GF's who he could see when she comes home but he can keep that picture. my point is like me i could never be with T.I. or Ryan Sheckler but i be damned if i erased them from my friends on my space becuz the odds of me meeting one of them are what a million to 1 . so i understand but if he cant get to them whats the point of getting up set. but the ones he do know i think u should express ur concerns about them not demand not telling but voicing ur opinion and see how that goes cuz no other woman should be calling him ever like dat or text or any thing.

Answer 10

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