My boyfriend is trying to get me to get an abortion?

Question

I am 7 weeks pregnant now and when I told my boyfriend 2 weeks ago after I found out from my doctor I added I might get an abortion. His INITIAL response was "I will support you in WHATEVER decision you make" but he has fallen back on his words. For the last 2 weeks he keeps nagging me to make an appointment to get an abortion. He says it is the smartest and best decision right now and we could always have kids later. we have been together for 2 years now and i am 24 and he is 25 both old enough and responsible enough to raise a child. He says were too young but I know lots of people my age with kids, and we are not in highscool still after all. I say Id rather try adoption for my unborn child than abortion, but he says then we might as well raise the child. I made an appintment for this saturday and as the day keeps coming nearer I think about it at night and even cry at the thought of what I'm about to do. I thought if I ever got pregnant he would marry me.

I thought he loved me enough and that we were developed and mature in our relationship to where if this ever did happen we would actually be willing to go through with it goether. He says we can get married and have kids later now were still young and we should travel together and stuff like that. Thing is our relationship had kinda been reaching a dead end as far as I was concerned before this happened and he always says he wants to travel with me but then never does/did. I realize that having this termination could profoundly affect the way I feel about him and also myself but he doesnt seem to realize that. But then I think about what I would do if I were single and got pregnant from some one night stand I think I probably would have an abortion but then I dont know.
It just scares me to think of the procedure itself and if it really is murder like some people believe. Truth is before this happened I didnt really have an opinion about abortion bc it was something that I didnt deal w

Answer 1

sorry but the thought of having an abortion makes me sick. do whats best for you tho. i would rather be a single mum then having to think i got rid of child all my life.. my cousin got an abortion and commited suicide 2 years after because it ate her up..

also i have a 5 month old baby and im only 20 and i am doing fine and im getting married in 4 months.. my son is the best thing that ever happened to me and i cant wait to go thru all the pain again for my next child

Answer 2

Your story stirs up alot of painful feelings within me which I experienced 34yrs ago. Unfortunately, when we're in our 20's we don't think such painful decisions as an abortion will ever haunt us, but it definitely does. Once the decision to terminate "A Life" is made (even though some may argue the fact that it is a life because this is where we all begin), there is no going back. I married the father of this unborn child and had to get into counseling after 25yrs of marriage because I was not allowed to discuss this sensitive issue. From the scraping of the uterus which forms scar tissue I was not able to concieve. I ask that you just reconsider following through with your Saturday appointment and give this little human a chance at life. Your boyfriend can suggest this and that but in the end YOU SHOULD be the deciding factor. Let him follow his dreams of traveling but you should follow your conscience.

Answer 3

It appears that your boyfriend won't be happy with any decision you make unless it is abortion as soon as possible. First of all, the decision--since you are not married--is yours especially if he is waffling as much as you say. And remember that you have to live with that decision for the rest of your life. In California, abortions are available until you are 15 weeks pregnant. After about 12 weeks, it is a 2 day procedure; before that it is a single day procedure.
So my question is: what would you choose to do if he just left and didn't want anything to do with you or the baby? From what you say, that is the mentality you should take with this pregnancy. Then get on some kind of birth control that is governed by you, not by his saying he will or won't use a condom.

Answer 4

You can not get an abortion for your boyfriend

Before Saturday, you need to ask yourself these question
1. Where do you believe life begins? Conception? Birth?
2. Well you regret having an abortion?
3. Do you want the Baby?
4. Would you rather put the child up for adoption, or have an abortion

If any of these question is yes, except birth, you should not have one

I do know that some people regret this decision for the rest of their life's. You can not have an abortion to make a boy friend happy

Please know how you feel before Saturday
Good luck

Answer 5

I'd say, give the baby up for adoption if you don't want to raise it or have an abortion. But you seem like you know what you're doing and you also seem very capable of raising a child. You said that your relationship seems dead ended. But you seem like you want to go somewhere in life, whether that be financially or physically, I don't know. Your boyfriend seems like he isn't striving for anything. Like you said, he wanted to travel but has yet to do so. My conclusion is that he is holding you back from what life has to offer. You also said that you always thought he would marry you if you got pregnant. Well, that's happened and you aren't getting married. He doesn't seem like the man you thought he was.
If he loved you the way he should, he would want what's best for you, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Abortion may seem like the simplist, easiest way to make this problem dissapear if you don't want to raise a child, but it will leave you with scars. If you cry about what you're going to do, the answer is simple. Abortion does not seem like the right choice for you.
A few things need to happen. One: You need to tell your boyfriend what YOU'RE going to do. Think about it, in cases where people aren't married, have a child, and then break up,the woman is left to care for the child. This is simply because she carried it.
Two: He needs to support your decision. If you choose to keep the baby and he's still not okay with it, it's time to dump him. Yes, it will be hard raising a child on your own, but it's better than having a father in your life that resents you.


I say all of these things with respect. I don't say them to destroy your relationship,as I don't know you and I'm only going off of the information provided. Please don't be offended, not by any means was this my goal.
Best of luck to you, whatever decision you make. You just need to remember that YOU come first in this situation. Not your boyfriend. This is your body bearing the stress and pain of carrying a child.
Let me know how it goes,
Kelsey

Answer 6

If you are having doubts .... then DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION.

Once you have the abortion ... it CAN NOT be un-done.

You said in your question ... that your boyfriend has "gone
back on his word to support WHATEVER decision that you make." .... This is either an indication of his lack of character.
Or it "could" be that he is scare and confused at this time ... But either way .... YOU have to think about the developing LIFE that you are NOW responsible for.

You (also) wrote that your boyfriend said that "you guys were
too young" ..... Well ..... why DIDN'T he think that you were
too young to have sex???

This is the "grown-up" world here .... You and your boyfriend
are BOTH old enough to accept (not only) the responsibility for YOUR actions .... But you are (also) both old enough to
accept the CONSEQUENCES of your actions. YOU made
the decision to continue in a sexual relationship with a man
that you were not married to ... HOPING that "should" you
get pregnant ... He would do the right thing .... Well .... that was the CHANCE that you took .... It hasn't work out that way
.... So dust yourself OFF and deal with it!

But DO NOT be pressured into having an abortion .... I do believe that you would regret it!

Answer 7

Hi, I am 21, have two boys age 4 and age 1 and have had an abortion. Please do what ever it is that you feel is best, but I will tell you that emotionally it is better to have a child than to abort one. I am still trying to get help from all of my emotional issues that have developed since my abortion. You sound old enough, responsible enough and mature enough to have a child, and once you hold that baby in your arms, you will know that you made that baby, and you will truly feel blessed to have been given such a wonderful little miracle! If you want to know more, or if you need any help, please don't hesitate to send me an e-mail. I am not here to judge anyone based on their decision!

Answer 8

If you have doubts about getting an abortion than don't do it, because I'm sure the regret could be painful. (aside from the fact that I find abortion very sad). Like you say, you are both old enough to raise a child, and if you plan on having children together later anyway, how would you feel about the possible baby you chose not to have? I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't feel prepared for fatherhood but he shouldn't pressure you into making a choice you aren't completely comfortable about. If he loves you he'll get used to the idea.

Answer 9

I have very strong feelings about abortion I am totally against it but instead of telling you how evil it is im going to ask you to please please use your computer to research the different view points about abortion, both sides, because YOU are the one who has to live with your decision. But you need to take into consideration that if you have the baby there is a good chance he will not be there. And babies do change things in a huge way and never heal a broken relationship. I think what he said about adoption is really telling about his opinion on the matter. He is most afraid of disappointing his family and having to explain to ppl the decision, not any fear of being a birth father and not being involved In his babies life. If you are serious about adoption consider moving to stay with a family member who lives in a different area then basically no one will know unless you choose to tell them. But please if you have even a bit of doubt about going through with this don’t do it, it is a decision you can not undo. I am the mother of a surprise baby and had a miscarriage in June and I can tell you that that little person you have growing inside of you is truly a gift no matter how much it seams like a burden.

Answer 10

Okay. I'm a pro-choice person and think that it's important that a woman have every resource at her fingertips in this time of fragility. That being said, if he's not stepping up to the plate and suggesting that you two get married straightaway then you have an answer, of sorts. This fellow might not be the marrying kind and you may need to abort this pregnancy rather than saddle yourself with someone who doesn't take relationships seriously.
Women tend to take sexual relationships more seriously than do men and become invested in them much more as well. It seems that your b'friend is one of those men who is ultimately not serious (at least about you) and that you'd best move on without the unborn child.

Answer 11

Too young??? I'm 19 (got pregnant when I was 18), and I'm 33 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I'm going to be a single mom. If I can do it, you can too. Take some responsibility for your actions (i.e. NOT abortion). Sure...its a big life change, but that's what happens when you do "big people things". Nicest way I could think of putting it. Please don't kill your baby, if you really can't handle it, try adoption, its a really selfless option and there are so many people out there that can't have kids and that spend tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treaments and surrogate mothers. Do some research before you make a desicion this huge...its not your life, its your baby's...who, just for the record, is totally innocent, deserves the best, and didn't for any of this!

Also -- sounds like you need to dump your jerky boyfriend!