He feels there's nothing wrong with asking?????????

Question

BACKGROUND INFO:
1. Me and Boyfriend have been together for 8 months
2. We’ll be engaged soon- married next year( He has
bought the ring and yes I have seen it ;-)
3. I make three times more than him……..
4. He asked me for money about 20 times- 10 of those
times were for necessary expenses which I have helped out but had to rough it a little without the money. The other 10 times were for unnecessary expenses like an I.POD, T.V. Clothes

Problem:
He feels there's nothing wrong with asking me for money..

and

I feel offended and irritated because he should be able to live off what he earns.

Please answer any one or all of the following:

How do I explain to my boyfriend that continually asking me for money and material things is offensive and irritating?

What's the difference between asking and begging?

Do you think there's something wrong with a guy that continually asks a woman for money?

That's the thing.... I haven't asked him for anything--

Answer 1

I wouldn't like that at all.

Answer 2

Cut the money train off NOW. The next time he asks for money tell him you don't have any. Don't allow him access to your accounts. It almost sounds like he is using you for your money. Come up with some excuse why you don't have money and ask him for some and see what he does. If he hands it over consider it pay back for what he owes you. A court will consider all those things gifts probably so you might not get that money back. Asking you for money is disrespectful. Don't let him get in the habit of asking you. Take the extra money you earn and put it in a CD or a savings account or something for retirement or anything, start saving now.

Answer 3

A. You tell him just like that that you are offended and irritated when he continually asks you for money.

B. Asking is ... "hey do you have 10 bucks, I'll give it back to you on payday" (and you get your money back).......begging.....is "hey give me some money so I can buy my game / gas / whatever"

C. Yes there is something wrong with a grown man that continually asks his fiance for money; but there is also something wrong with a grown woman who has allowed herself to be in this position.

I can tell you now that your marriage will not last. You already resent him asking for money, you make three times more than he does; and he will continue to ask you for money and you will become more resentful; then guess what, you are married with a child and go to get divorced, you will get to financially support that child with MINIMAL assistance from him...........you had better really re-think this relationship before you make a big mistake.

Answer 4

That's pathetic. Does he make so little money or manage it so poorly that he's unable to keep himself out of severe financial difficulties requiring his girlfriend to bail him out 10 times in 8 months? And then he has the gall to ask you an additional 10 times for unnecessary things? And you're smiling about getting engaged to him?!?

When my DH and I dated, he made about 3 times as much as me. There was a time I had to borrow my roommate's toothpaste because I couldn't afford to buy a new tube till my next paycheck. But I never asked my (then) boyfriend to buy me anything. I would have no respect for someone who did, except under the most dire of circumstances. And I certainly would not hand over my finances (through marriage) with a man who has shown himself completely incapable of managing his own, so he can run through my money and ruin my credit too.

Answer 5

Its bad ju-ju. First, he shouldn't ask except in dire emergency & then pay it back ASAP. To borrow $ for nonessentials is out of the question! Why are you GIVING him $$$. You shouldn't need to tell him it sucks, anyone but a leech would know. Get out now before you marry the millstone...bet he would quit work within weeks, not find a job, suck you dry, if divorced seek alimony from you..;.then you'd feel the financial pain and emotional foolishness every month! If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a _____. It ain't a swan!

Hey but you're an adult...

Answer 6

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a woman for money. That's kinda like saying it's wrong to tell a woman to buy you a drink. Notice I said "tell" not "ask". Women do it all the time.

Now, you are right that he should be able to live on what he earns. Sometimes people get laid off and often go to their partners for financial help. You constantly tell him yes, so he keeps asking. If it's not for something that's necessary, tell him you'll get it for his birthday or Christmas. Otherwise tell him that you don't have money to spend right then.

Communication is key and if you guys are looking to get married, you have to talk to him and ask him if he thinks he makes enough money to get the things he wants. Sometimes things are better talked out. Just try to avoid conflict.

Answer 7

You are his sugar-Mama and until you close your purse in a convincing way his behavior is unlikely to change.

Any man worth his weight should be able to live within his means without relying on you for support.

That said, once you're married he won't have to ask. He'll just get to spend the money. I suggest you think about it long and hard to decide if you're okay with slaving away at the 9 to 5 to provide him with a cushy and comfortable lifestyle.

Answer 8

Nope. you probably did not something incorrect. in fact, if she particularly is your pal, she could've shared her thoughts approximately this boy with you. If she's disillusioned, its her difficulty. If she have been to confront you approximately this, you're able to be arranged and tell her that if she had merely shared with you her thoughts approximately Jake, you in no way could've long gone out with him notwithstanding evidently he likes you and that's some element you have not have been given any administration over. Then tell her you desire it would not get interior the way of your friendship for the reason which you particularly rejoice together with her. With which you're letting her know she is important to you, that Jake is involved in YOU, not her, and that she probably wasn't the coolest pal she could be by ability of conserving her strategies and thoughts to herself. good success and revel on your date!

Answer 9

Yes there is something very wrong with a guy that continually asks a woman for money. He hasn't grown up.

Answer 10

Your boyfriend is not being a responsible, equal partner in this relationship - it sounds like he finds it convenient to just use you for money whenever he pleases. It doesn't sound like he loves and respects you as a person... Sorry hun, but I'd seriously re-evaluate whether he's the man for you. You deserve a man who's more interested in loving you and being there for you, not in getting chummy with your wallet... Best of luck to you sweetie!

Answer 11

my opinion: ya'll have only been together for 8 months, i think that that is too soon to be asking for money. if you offer it because you see that he is having problems, then i don't see the problem. i think that you should tell him exactly what you just told us. usually men won't ask for money, because of a thing called pride. even when me and my husband are having financial problems, he will not ask for money from anyone. so i would watch what you are getting into.