I've had an emotional affair with someone else at work who's married. I'm married as well. Just when I was falling more in love with him, all of a sudden his behavior changed around me. He's basically avoiding me now at work. We've never really had a relationship, it's just that one can tell when two people like each other. I don't know what I did or didn't do that made him changed all of a sudden. It's just odd.
I thought that when I got married, these feelings would never come to me, but it happened. I fell for someone else and now someone else besides my husband is breaking my heart because he no longer wants the same thing as me.
I don't want to quit my job either because I need the health benefits and money.
2007-11-14 13:33:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think the other guy made a mental choice and you saw it with his physical actions.
He made a choice to stay with his wife and end the emotional affair with you. He probably realized the same as you what the correct path to take really is.
The only issue now is that you also must realize it. You have a husband and probably a good man and the grass isn't greener. Stay away from intimacy at work, treat the guy as a colleague and over time it won't be this big deal.
Focus on what you have at home and don't make a big deal out of what you felt you had at work. Your job should be fine. :)
2007-11-14 13:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is like a hard job that pays well. If you put a lot into it, it goes well and it is fun. If you goof off, people get angry with you - and you risk getting fired. You are RIGHT about the sex part being hard. However after 20 years I like sex with my wife as much as ever. We just do it a little less often than in the beginning. The first ten years we average maybe 5 times a week. Now 2 times a week. But each time is good to great. I think for her also - I sure try to make it that way. Never cheated. Hopefully :) :) never will. 1. Marry someone you are attracted to or sex will be something you avoid and you will both be miserable. 2. Stay in shape/stay in shape/etc. Or find a guy who doesn't mind overweight women. And there are many guys like that. However - sorry for this but it is true - most better educated/higher income guys do not like heavy women. Don't know why that is just the way it is. 3. Marry someone who is adventurous and fun and ideally funny. Lets face it those factors are part of the bedroom experience. 4. Marry someone who makes an effort to bring you to cl***x every time. Some people end up in sexless marriages - if that happened to me I would either have open affairs - I would not hide affairs if my wife would not sleep with me - or get divorce. How some men live without sex is a mystery to me.
2016-04-04 01:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously seen the light and realised he was risking his marriage if he took his friendship with you any further. I admire this guy! But you are naive to think that just because you get married you'll never be tempted by another man ever again. The temptation is always going to be there, it just depends whether you decide to give attention to it, feed it and endulge in it. You were looking at someone else because there is some aspect within your marriage you are not happy about, or there is something you need from your husband that you are not getting. You need to talk to your husband, be truthful about what you need, nuture your marriage and keep it alive, if you do this feelings for other people will fade. This is your lucky day, you almost made a really big mistake... go home and get your marriage back on track.
2007-11-14 13:46:10 · answer #3 · answered by violet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all yes you re married and you're not always gonna have those "butterfly " feelings and you may feel flattered because you feel attractive again but think of how your husband will feel when he finds out that you have an interest in someone else. You fell in love with your hubby,can you imagine breaking his heart? This married man that you have been flirting with might of woken up to realize that he may lose his wife. You need to step back and quit thinking of the other guy and think about the one that matters...YOUR HUSBAND! This new guy can leave you high and dry and it will be a slim chanae that the man you married will want anything to do with you. If you dont want your hubby there are PLENTY of women that will!
2007-11-14 13:44:16 · answer #4 · answered by bella s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consider counseling with your husband. You don't need to tell about your emotional affair, but it is obvious there is something wrong at home, or you would have never put yourself in this situation to begin with. Either get help or get out. You won't be happy until you do.
2007-11-14 13:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people do not want what they can have. Take it from me. I used to be that way. I always chose people who were unavailable and then I would run away if they somehow became available.
Unfortunately, just because you are married doesnt' make you have a magical force field around you that says...keep away. The magical force field is your head ...and your commitment.
2007-11-14 13:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so stop looking around for other men? quit running from your problems? indeed there are problems in your marriage cause of the emotional affair but running away and looking at other men isn't ok nor is it going to solve anything. seek counseling to have this issue resolved cause its not going away even if you have an affair.
2007-11-14 13:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by djmixah7 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Best thing that could have happened to you. Stay far away from this other man, lest you commit adultery. You must honor your wedding vows. You vowed to stay with him until death do you part. Turn from the temptations of lust.
Adultery is a sin that comes with dire consequences. Best keep yourself unto your husband. Let him alone intoxicate you.
2007-11-14 13:40:55 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is the reason you should never get involved with someone at work emotionally or sexually,plus
and you both are married
2007-11-14 14:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by LEO GIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you thought he wanted more than he did, he sees what things were working up to and he has backed away
2007-11-14 13:45:34 · answer #10 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋