He said "WTF!!!" "My daughter is 18 years old!!"
He said "I don't want anymore kids."
He said "I can't believe you are doing this to me."
My response "It isn't about you and it certainly isn't about your 18 year old daughter."
My response "You should have had a vesectomy and should get one."
My response " I can't have an abortion and you can't make me. You don't understand how horrible it is to have one."
--------------------------------------------------
He ended the conversation with "Take Care." and hung up on me. . .
I have his name, dob, ss#, job, address - - even if he disappears for good - i can still go after him for childsupport, right?? Daycare is going to be wicked expensive.
2007-11-14 13:23:58 · 22 answers · asked by Miss Kelly 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
All of your responses are so reassuring... Thank you!
2007-11-14 13:41:26 · update #1
Grant N : No, I am not the same person from the other day. . . but thanks for the positive reassurance.
2007-11-14 13:42:16 · update #2
Michele: My state must be a little different - because I know Dads who didn't go & sign the birth certificate, but were still paying child support. . . reason being another dude signed the birth certificate, but the paternity test prooved different.
He knows it is his... i am sure he will want the test and hope for the best in his favor... but he is the only man i have slept with for the past 7 months.
and now he is gone.
2007-11-14 13:44:27 · update #3
tuckerlucydog: He told me a week ago (while driving me to the abortion clinic) - if you have it, i won't be there. i refuse to be a father, no babysitting. no nothing!
So i don't think he will want visitation.
he has an 18 yr old girl and 16 yr old boy who live with him (their mom died)
and he has a 10 yr old son that he just told me about when i said i was pregnant... he never sees the 10 yr old.
he is a firefighter and works around the clock - and barely takes days off.
2007-11-14 13:48:07 · update #4
Admin0746-01: You are right. I was on the pill while we were together. I messed up the pills. . . I didn't think I would get prego... and Yes i let him go in bareback and not pull out... but he is trying to blame me alone... but i understand your response - takes two to tango
2007-11-14 13:50:05 · update #5
I WAS ON THE PILL! I AM NOT BLAMING HIM ONLY - WE BOTH DID THE DIRTY DEED AND ENJOYED IT..
2007-11-14 13:55:18 · update #6
Just tell him: you breed them, you feed them
He is absolutely liable for child support and should pay as such.
It beggars belief that when people are fully aware if they have sex, they risk pregnancy (contraceptives or not) they still get so bent out of shape when it actually happens.
If he is so adamant he wanted no more kids he should have either not had sex, or he should go out and get himself a vasectomy.
In the meantime however he has fathered a child and if he isn't willing to step up to the plate then he's no man at all.
2007-11-14 14:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by SydneyMum101 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl!! You did the right thing. Yes so long as you have his information you can go for child support. What a jerk, thats what annoy's me about alot of guys these days is they are willing to get their rocks off but when it comes to being responsible for a child they helped create they want to run, but yet they wouldnt dare run while they are getting what they want! You will be a great mum you dont need him!!
Congrats on the baby and try to take it easy, No stress!
2007-11-14 21:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am just curious if you're the person that posted a couple days ago. If you aren't, there was a question where she was concerned about telling the father that he's expecting a child because he might leave. I told her to be strong and she can do it all on her own. I say the same thing about you. By the way you said it I can tell you are a soldier and damn smart. Use all that info girl and make him take responsibility so your baby can have what he or she deserves.
2007-11-14 21:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Grant N 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You definitly can get child support and i wouldnt hesitate if i were you! I would start now and hit him up for atleast half the medical/doctor bills prior to having the baby. Good Luck!! and i must say, im very proud of you for deciding to keep the baby, i know it was a hard choice but its something that i believe you will be very happy with. Good luck again!
Oh i also wanted to add that if he dosent want anything to do with the baby, you should tell him he needs to sign over all parental rights to the baby.
2007-11-14 22:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by kait 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know who and where he is and where he works, he doesnt have to sign or do ANYthing for you to make him pay child support, the only thing he can do to possibly get out of it is to prove it isnt his with a paternity test which is expensive as well so as long as youre sure its his he will pay for it unless he quits his job and disappears to work under the table from now on, then hes just screwing himself again .
going after him for child support isnt blaming him alone for the pregnancy, its making him stand up and do his part, dont worry about blame, you are the one willing to step up and keep the baby and do what is right instead of killing it or dumping it in a trash can.
2007-11-14 21:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I love your bold attitude!
Gosh...he thought it was done...didn't want to "diminish" his ""manhood"" by taking percautions so he wouldn't get pregnant again...and won't even accept his act.
Yep, I'd say if you ordered a paternatiy test ('cause he'd dispute it) you could collect. How could a judge not order it? Good luck and God bless!
I wanted to add!! be careful around him as not knowing how far he will go to "solve" his problem. If he is a threat to you stay away from him until you have the baby. However, defentially go after him for his half of responsiblity!!
2007-11-14 21:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Did you guys talk about what you two would do if you did get pregnant. If you both agreed to have an abortion or he was under the impression you wouldn't keep it then he shouldn't have to pay you anything. It is unfair to put that on him if he told you in the beginning that he didn't want another child. You're being selfish raise your child alone, b/c even if he did give you money he isn't going to want the child in his life. Good luck!
2007-11-14 21:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You can get the child support, but remember you make him pay child support then he gets visitation with your child. If you don't claim him as the father then you don't have to worry about your baby being with this man who doesn't even want it. Even if he doesn't want the baby if you make him pay he will probably fight for visitation just to get to you.
2007-11-14 21:44:09 · answer #8 · answered by tuckerlucydog 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If that was his choice, he should have not had sex.. isn't he old enough to know that? If he is not willing to be there physically, he will be there monetarily. Do not even consider an abortion that is not his choice anymore. It is all on you. Give that baby a good life. Hit him up. Good luck and God bless
2007-11-14 21:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by yourbigsis 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know what you are going through, trust me!! been there before.
get him for all he's worth in child support and tell him he shoulda kept it in his pants if he didn't want anymore kids. He had the fun, now take responsibility. what a jerk.
You make sure to relax and take it easy, it'll be hard but this baby has obviously got a great mother already!
best of luck
2007-11-14 21:33:13 · answer #10 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋