Why the focus on fidelity in marriage?

Question

I am attracted to a married man and its mutual.Nothing has happened just some flirting.Not sure I will go through with it but I love the thrill. He doesnt want to be married any more. I dont think hes my perfect guy - I'm just attracted to him - a lot!
Why cant I have him screw me like I know he wants to and can?He can stay with his wife - I dont want her to find out - she never would.I dont want anyone to get hurt including myself.
Its just fun.there are no kids in his marriage.Whats the big deal of MARRIED?
I'm holding back and so is he.....why?

I'm not a bad person and I dont understand what goes around comes around.
Isnt the VOW broken already if hes thinking this way about me?

hold back on the name calling people!
I am unlikely to go very far with this just asking why the fidelity thing is so big..

Answer 1

Fidelity or loyalty or faithfulness is a very strong positive word...this is the number one priority in a marriage because it is coupled by trust, respect, sincerity and fear from God.......leave him alone, believe me you can not get any positive result in it..right now you are just tempted, you want to be adventurous, you want further experience and you want to prove something to ypourself...this is all in the flesh...forget it dear.....remember, life has a boomerang effect, you may never know what you are going to do now at the expense of one's marriage willhave an adverse effect to you later on..........so while there is time and your senses are intact............leave it............and you won't regret, I may sound corny to you, but I can honestly say I am a good person that is why I want to help you since you are a good person too, right?

Answer 2

Oh my. Fidelity is the REASON people GET married. Well, one of them. I'm sure YOU love the thrill and I've had that experience before, but the guys had girlfriends; they weren't married.(And I never went through with it. Too much drama.) To me it's a big deal. I don't know how old you are, but trust me, married guys tell women ALL the time they don't want to be married anymore ( A few weeks ago a taxi driver tried to come on to me, and then I found out he was married- seven years! When I found out, I was kind of disappointed because he was intelligent and cute. But married men are OFF LIMITS. Why? Try putting yourself in his wife's shoes. I'm POSITIVE you would not be exactly thrilled about your husband, to whom you have made vows before God to be faithful forever, to be stepping out on her. If you just want him to *screw* you, it doesn't say anything exactly complimentary about your character, or conscience for that matter. Don't you have any respect for YOURSELF? It may be *fun* but this is a serious matter. What if he DID tell his wife? How do you know he isn't scamming on any other woman? Do you honestly think you are the ONLY one? It does not matter if there are no kids in the marriage. What matters is that they were married before the eyes of God and they made a mutual promise to one another to be faithful. In sickness and in health. You have a lot to learn, little girl.

Answer 3

Even relationships where neither party is commited, married or otherwise can cause problems.

One where one or both parties is married, however unhappily will certainly increase the chances of this getting ugly ten fold.

Lets say you two work together. The wife finds out, she of course will blame you, rather than their bad marriage. Lets say she does something that in turn affects your employment. That would be bad.

Lets say you fall for him, but he in spite of his claims of bad marriage just "has to be the martyr and stay in a bad marriage, who knows, for some BS like, "I dont know what she will do if I leaver her...." then, there you are, you are the one hurting.

Lets say he completely falls for you, after all, if his life is really that miserable in a marriage so bad that he is looking to have a affair, maybe he falls for you and you want nothing to do with a serious relationship.

People get hurt in all kinds of relationships, this kind in particular.

Whats the big deal of marriage ? Consider the vows he took when he got married. Now, when he says he cares about you, or says he just wants a casual thing, or, when he says he is in a bad marriage. Is he being more sincere with you, taking that more serious than he did his vows.

With no kids involved and in a bad marriage, he should just get a divorce.

I know what you are saying, you just want to have fun and casual sex is part of your fun. So, why not do that with someone who has far less chances of complications ?

Not to mention, lets say you both end up getting serious, then you would (should) have serious doubts about the integrity of the person you are getting involved with, right ?

Why the focus on fidelity in marriage, what would you expect of someone you were in love with, comitted to, faithful to ?

best of luck,
j

Answer 4

Both of you are holding back your urges because you both know it's the right thing ethically and morally.

It's because as a married man, he has an obligation (through marriage vows) that he must be faithful to his wife and she must do the same.

Fidelity/infidelity in marriage is mostly a religious thing and most people who have affairs and cheat on each other aren't so religious. In the end, everyone gets hurt in some way, so it's best to stay friends and not cause longterm and permanent damage to relationships/marriages.

Answer 5

All through the more modern ages women have been afraid to be the other woman. It has been pounded into your heads ever since you were a little girls. It has caused countless break-ups of marriages over the last 75 to 85 years. The terms Adultery and fornication are used like big clubs yet most do not know the original meanings of the terms. Quite different than is the common definition today.

He most likely is not prince charming for you, and I am sure he most likely does not want to leave his wife and family if he has one. So what do you do? My suggestion is the two of you go to a motel some weekend he can get away and get it out of your systems. Don't pursue him and tell him not to pursue you...this is only for fun. Enjoy the time and maybe it will happen a few times but keep the LOVE word out of it entirely.

Believe me you will both be better for it in the end.

Answer 6

As much as I feel like telling you to 'GO FOR IT', It is very wrong. You should show some sympathy for his wife. How would you feel if this happened to you? I bet you'd be bloody pissed off! Grow up, Go and find a single man you can screw at will or until you've finished with him because he's not YOUR perfect guy either!

PS - Has it crossed your tiny little mind that this married man might have told you that his marriage is on the rocks just so he can get into your knickers!

Somebody ALWAYS GETS HURT!

Answer 7

Being married is suppose to be a happy loving thing. The hole point is thats the person you spend you life with (everything) Being faithful goes hand in hand with being truthful. Honestly my question is why are so many women home wreckers? I know its the mans choice as well but you don't want another women doing it to you why do it to someone else. I'm a big believer in being faithful in a marriage and if you have the passion to want to cheat its better to separate and do it then go behind the persons back

Answer 8

I hope that you never find out that your husband has cheated on you when you marry,then you will understand the pain this causes. If he does not want to be with her then he should have the balls to leave. He made a vow, a LEGALLY binding vow to be faithful to her, that's the big deal, it's a promise he made and if he breaks that promise then his marriage is over.

Answer 9

You may be holding back because there is an innocent person involved in this and that is his wife. You may be holding back because deep down you don't feel quite comfortable with all this. You may be holding back cause you are not really that sure if he has deep feelings for you or this is just a one night stand. You may be holding back, cause in the future you will find someone who cherishes you and you don't want them to find out about this.
You may be holding back cause you want more than a fling and even though you think it is fun now...you might not think it was and may turn out to be the biggest mistake you ever made. You may be holding back cause of what others will think if they find out you broke up his marriage. You may be holding back cause you just like him and want sex but later on he will want more and you aren't prepared or even want that.
You may be holding back also for religious reasons. You may be holding back cause after this is all over, you will feel used and all the thrill will be gone.
Sex is not love, it is only part of a relationship. Sex in marriage is known as lovemaking because it shows love to the person who has commited their life to you..
sex outside of marriage, is just that: sex without love. Feels fine, but where is the everlasting emotions behind it?

Answer 10

Because the whole point of gettin married is to be faithful to that one person. That's the basic thing that separates marriage from all other relationships. I like how King Solomon said it:

15 Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.

18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?
(Proverbs 5)