2007-11-14 13:09:09 · 33 answers · asked by mp3 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes it's his. we WERE trying but he has a nasty temper and like a fool i thought he had changed. when he gets mad he threatens divorce and i'm tired of the threats. we haven't had sex for a little over a month. he has had another one of his tantrums this weekend and we are not talking and he is looking at houses. i don't want to stop the divorce
2007-11-14 13:22:11 · update #1
Dear MP3,
There is not a court in the U.S. that will grant a divorce for a couple while a woman is preggers. The reason is simple: the state does not want to have to pay to raise another child. Therefore, if a couple is married when the baby is born, it is presumed to be the husband's child and his to support. No problem for the state.
You need to sit down and discuss this with him. Do not approach it as something you are holding over his head. Speak with an attorney if you like and get her/his advice. There may be a way to have him acknowledge paternity for the baby and still be granted a divorce, I'm not up on that, but if you want out, it's something to consider and discuss with an attorney.
Good luck, kiddo. Are you sure that counseling wouldn't help? Never hurts to try your best ... even at this stage.
2007-11-14 13:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he has a right to know, but you can't stay together just for the baby. It might make him take a good look at your marriage and realize that you have something to hang onto and work for, but if he feels like he has to stay, don't let him. The child will be better off than if he/she is living with parents who don't get along, and he/she will feel the burden of being the thing that his/her parents' marriage is dependant on to work. If he wants to stay, get into counseling ASAP. Even if he leaves, you should still maybe see a counselor to help make everything go smoothly, because you will always be bound together by the child, and you want to raise him/her in a happy, healthy environment.
2007-11-14 13:58:31 · answer #2 · answered by Skiball 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him then he might only stay with you because you are pregnant, and not because you are the best thing in life that has ever happened to him. If divorce is in your path then when things are final let him know that you might be expecting. You might not be pregnant, and won't have to worry about the added stress of what if. let things continue the way they have been, and see if things change for the better. Good Luck, and CONGRATULATIONS
2007-11-14 13:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to tell him. You shouldn't get a divorce now since you might be pregnant. You need to talk to him about it, and see what is the best option for you two.
2007-11-14 13:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Jessica♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is he going to do if you are pregnant, stay and rise the child? Many couples make the mistake of using a child as a union. It is important to understand that there are options available to you...as an adult that you are, you tell your husband that might be pregnant. However, that you don't want the baby to be used a course of commitment. There are many couples who are struggling to have children and they are unsuccessful...adoption will make a couple very happy. You don't want to bring a child into a broken home..the child deserves a chance at life.
2007-11-14 13:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by J G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. It would be unfair to him and the child to not say anything. In many US states, you can get divorced until the pregnancy is over anyway.
2007-11-14 13:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by LORI P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him after the divorce is done, but only if you want to, but know that he will probably figure out around the time that the baby was conceived and may wonder if it is his. It would probably be best to tell him, just do it after the divorce is finalized and tell him you don't want his help. and make sure you get custody of the kid, because if his temper gets the best of him, it is possible that he could become violent.
2007-11-14 13:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Find out first if you are actually pregnant or not. If you are tell him but still get the divorce if you need to.
2007-11-14 13:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by babygirl_k2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, to make things fair and all. You don't want to add more problems to a not so good situation. Most importantly don't use the baby to save the relationship...if it's over it just is.
But do allow him to know this important imformation.
2007-11-14 13:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by passionfruit2571 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you tell him. It may not save your marriage but might go towards getting counseling so you both can raise a child together even if your not actually together. This is very important.... Think about your baby!
2007-11-14 13:13:41 · answer #10 · answered by stacg32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋