How can we get rid of the double standard of promiscuity?

Question

It's ok for men to sleep around but not women. How can we defeat that double standard? It should be ok for women to sleep around too.

Answer 1

I have always been stunned at the number of women who do sleep around. I think it surprises me because it is not as obvious, maybe. I don't know.
A few years ago, I came to check on my mother, several states away from where I lived. she wound up having emergency surgery and 3 months of rehab and never got out of bed again and couldn't' make the trip to my home so i stayed for the 2 1/2 years of her dieing.
Long story to say, I met a nurse and then met her friend and then met her friend and then got a phone call from her traveling nurse friend ...
I wound up being a standing "date" for a group of traveling nurses, sometimes dinner and visiting, most often sex, though. It was great and stunning at the same time. I have full respect for these ladies, they were all professionals and dedicated and weren't cheating on anybody (that i know of, most were divorced and single parents).
And, that does not answer ur question.
I don't know that we can get rid of the double standard and yes, it most certainly does exist. I am always surprised that women really seem to be as sexually active as men and they certainly have a right to. I'm not sure who I thought all those men were screwing, if not women, lol.

Answer 2

Well, you can refuse to discuss you sex life or anyone elses' for a start. Above and beyond making sure you aren't carrying any nasties that can hurt a partner, and being reasonable about who you sleep with, and what sort of protection you use, I really don't think it's anyone's busy who you've done, and how often.

It's up to you to decide how much you're going to share.

Personally, I don't think it's okay for men who sleep around to judge women who sleep around. It's the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" theory...if it's okay for one gender, than it's good for the other one.

Let's be honest, as women, we're harder on each other than the men are.

There are some theories that this is really hard-wired into the genders. Biologically, men are driven on an instinctual level to create as many mini-thems as they can. This ensures their genes live on. Women, on the other hand, have the long term responsibility for the species, and are looking for providers, not procreators.

There may be some validity to it, as the behavior is common in many species. However, we should be able to move above that level and make intelligent decisions.

Then again, go to the grocery store, your job, drive on the freeway, and try to count the number of intelligent people you see. Nah..don't..you'll just get depressed.

Answer 3

Right here, Juniper. I can not stem the tide of ideological ignorance in this site, though.

Questioner. A man may father many children, but a women can only father one ot a time. Evolutionary processes are those of the past. We were forged in times when birth control was not even intimated and paternity was any ones guess. You forget that women know the child is theirs, but men must always be in some doubt. The reproductively successful organism was the organism that did not stray far from their evolved reproductive strategy. Both men and women cheat, though, but for different reasons. A man wants to be sure of paternity, so a promiscuous women risks that a man would not be sure of his paternity in marrying her. And a promiscuous women would have been a misnomer in our evolutionary past. Women were always pregnant, then and babies took a long time to wean. Promiscuity would not have payed off in reproductive success, anyway and rather obviously. And some of you can not tell the difference between discription and perscription.

Do not care too much about " thumbs down " here, Juniper. Consider them badges of honor in this empirical waste land. Ideology must be opposed, because willful ignorance is more dangerous than psychopathy.

I just gave you the reasons, Priscilla. Any college educated adult should be aware of these evolutionary forces that even effect we humans. I do not see us " getting past " a lot of things that define us as human. Things universal to all cultures.

Answer 4

If you could begin by showing all of us how the promiscuity of men is beneficial to the respect afforded by them to women, then and only then might this question be valid, by asserting that promiscuity would be beneficial to the respect afforded by women to men.

Essentially, you need to first show that promiscuity is beneficial to the psyche of those who engage in it. And that by extension of that benefit, society is made better as a whole. Because if promiscuity is as detrimental as lying and other forms of deceit, none of us will be better by the increased occurrence of it. More often than not, promiscuity is engaged in due to low self esteem. And I can say that authoritatively for both sides of this. Men who are promiscuous have no better self esteem than the women who have sex with them.

I have yet to see by my own personal experience as a man how I have benefited from my own promiscuity. Promiscuity is never under any circumstance a statement of respect of one person for another. Neither I or those I've had sex with, are any better off because of it. What I do see in the wake of all this is increased self-contempt. Because the fact of the matter is, people engage in promiscuity thinking emotional compartmentalization (a false cognitive process of denying the effect of any action or experience) has no consequences to themselves or others. Promiscuity is nothing more than an aggrandizement of selfishness. It is the capacity of individuals to detach themselves from the reality of the long term desires, needs and security that we all seek in the relationships that can only be satisfied by commitment.

So it's not a question of how can we get rid of a double standard, but how can we get rid of the destructive misconception that humans can behave without consequence. But this is something that typically only comes through maturity, gained through the revelation of one's own foolishness. And yes, I have been foolish, more times than I wish I had.

Shingoshi Dao
2007.Nov.14 Wed, 19:34 --800 (PST)

Answer 5

Instead make it into a women HAVE standards and men like that dont.


Why would you want to sleep around anyway, I'd personally rather find just one person im crazy about =]

Answer 6

what are you trying to do justify the means? Why are humans promiscuous? Its simple, they are in a race to obtain the intimacy only another human can give. Now when sex is involved then we can look into the nymphomania theory, and here the aggressor is looking for a solution in the form of an orgasm plus intimacy. Each time the act is played out you reinforce its position within the unconscience and therefore suppress the true reason why you enjoy the effort to receive a few minutes of thrills! Volunteer Counselor Western Illinois University

Answer 7

Easier said than done, but just don't give a damn when people talk about you or other girls that do it.

I realized that the worst that people can do is open their mouths and say something bad about you. Okay..then what? What happens after they're done calling a girl a whore or whatever? They shut their mouth and move on. You're not going to get shot for being called a slut. You're not going to get thrown in jail. You won't get fired from a job. You won't get a C on an exam. It's up to YOU if you want to get upset, but you don't have to.

That's how I see it. I just stopped caring if people choose to call me a slut, because I know have other things to worry about and what they say isn't the source of my happiness.

P.S. It's true that people who talk **** about others' sexual activity have lousy sex lives themselves. ;)

Answer 8

It's not okay for a man to sleep around with everyone, i think it's unacceptable in any case. Here's a question for you, why the double standard for us in everything?

Answer 9

Stop recognizing it as a double standard and hold men to the same standards.

In my book, a whore is a whore regardless of what's between their legs. It shouldn't be okay for anyone to sleep around. But I suppose that the new high of some STD rates are a result of thinking like that...have fun.

Answer 10

Ummm, I've slept around. I guess the fastest way would be for more women to do just that, sleep around, and NOT be ashamed of it and not take other people's crap when they try and call you a whore. I'm not ashamed of my promiscuious past and NO one I know (except my boyfriend who I admit is a little bothered by my past but accepts it) thinks me a bad person for it.