I've been married 7 1/2 years and my husband is very verbally abusive and a few times physical and sexual. I feel like he's repeating his last failed marriage to a T. I recently met someone and we had a spiritual connection. I don't open myself to anyone because I'am married and take my vows serious. My mom says I should end my marriage becuz of the abuse, is she right? I find our relationship just going in circles. We have "no children" together but I have raised his kids now 11-13-19-21. The 3 boys (11-13-21) live with us and the younger ones do not listen or respect me because he speaks to me like crap in front of them. Any advice. I have felt cut off emotionally from him since 2001. Any advice? Seperate or divorce? Is it wrong to break free and get the happiness I truely deserve?
2007-11-14 11:46:04 · 16 answers · asked by anabanana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you for all your support! I will be preparing my leave and off to find my happiness. I would never leave for another man,,, happiness is what I make it not from others as I have learned.. Thanks
2007-11-14 12:10:34 · update #1
If you are a spiritual person, you need to ask God for help and the strength to leave him. You you need to love YOU first, if you don't love you 1st then how can you love some one else. You really need to find happiness and I'm sure that God will understand the reason of you actions. Remember that God wants you to be happy and that he is good.
2007-11-14 13:30:45 · answer #1 · answered by thebrick 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm sorry to say, it's time to walk away. I've been in abusive relationships before and I've walked away each time. You deserve better and you need stability and peace in your life, you know? You don't have to divorce him for another man, just divorce him. He obviously has a pattern of doing this otherwise he would probably still be married to his previous wife. It's a good thing you don't have children, because this way, you can walk away from him w/o strings attchached =)
2007-11-14 12:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for the boys who will now become pattern abusers because of their low life dad. I would ask why are you still there but that is not going to help. You got to stand on your own feet and move on. Would advise some counseling as well to find out why your self esteem is so low that you feel you had to remain that long. If his first wife left him and you see this same pattern then it was obviously for a good reason and she knew it was time to escape and move on.
2007-11-14 11:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Los 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU should have left when he started been abusive with you especially physically. Once a guy is abusive he will always be sooner or later. But all the abuse you ahve take you shouldn't have and I bet you thought to yourself " He loves me , he will change" and the only he changed was his clothes. And then if that's not enough you take care of his brats and they don't show appreciation. Can't see how you lasted this long with him. You need to pack and leave as soon as possible and let him and his brats take care of themselves.
2007-11-14 12:23:20 · answer #4 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, what makes you so sure that the next guy won't do the same thing after 7 1/2 years of marriage? That's why it pays to actually know someone BEFORE you marry them...
2007-11-14 11:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has abused you as you have explained, then you have a good reasons to separate and move on to a divorce. He is using you like a doormat taking care of his kids and housework. If you were to divorce this man now you can have a new future for yourself and be happy about it.
2007-11-14 11:53:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to leave. Trust me, I have been there, it's not going to change, no matter how much he says he wont do it again... it will happen again. The kids don't respect you cuz their father don't respect you and if that s the case your marraige has no healthy future, you will remain feeling like crap and being treated like crap until you make the stand to move on to better things for you.
2007-11-14 11:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by mysticbaby420 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is more wrong for him to abuse you than it is for you to finally find happiness. It is time that you started living for you and not for him and his desires. No one deserves to live a miserable unloved life. It is time that you left and started a new chapter in life. If he is physically abusive then he could kill you one of these times. Your family do not deserve to go to your funeral before it is your time to die. Get out now and don't look back.
2007-11-14 11:51:23 · answer #8 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you leave an abusive relationship...but not for another man! Go out on your own and make your own way before you jump into another relationship.
2007-11-14 11:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, no one deserves domestic abuse.
Don't be afraid. There are wondering people in the community who can help you.
2007-11-14 11:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋