2 weekends ago, my longtime BF went to Austin to help his mom out with a trade show. I talked to him while he was there, and things seemed normal. He mentioned that he had gone out to see a show one night, and that the music was good, etc. etc. I didn't think anything of it. However, I just visited his myspace page, and there was a comment from a girl on there (a new person, who has not posted to his page before) who lives 20 mi. from Austin, saying, "Thanks for the pic comment, glad you liked it" - WTF? Who is this person? Is this some chick he met while he was out of town? I tried to link to her page, but it's private.
What do you think?
I posted this here, because people in this forum tend to be a little more adult than those in singles and dating - I don't need feedback from 13 year olds!
2007-11-14 09:50:53 · 51 answers · asked by HooliganGrrl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would ask him about the girl, it could be completely innocent, but see what he has to say. Youre mind is doing overtime - I can imagine, but you know what some people can be like posting pics and comments on my space. If the show he went to was his kind of scene, then dont worry too much, but if its not his scene, you have to ask him. Afterall she has put it on his page and everyone can see it. Get to the bottom of it and dont let her wind you up. Good luck!
2007-11-14 09:58:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't read too much into it right now and start to panic. All you know for sure is that he made a casual acquaintance at the show. However, if you were married (since you posted here), it would be inappropriate behavior for one's spouse to carry on a secret life behind the other's back. There should be no secrets from each other in a healthy relationship.
I'd go ahead and confront him as soon as possible (just to relieve the anxiety and not let this thing fester). Don't accuse him or look angry, but just say that you saw that comment on his page and that you'd like to know some more about her and other people he met there. Perhaps you could "innocently" ask him to show you her page and the pic comment (since he obviously has access to her private site). Maybe it will turn out to be nothing other than him simply having made a friend with a member of the opposite sex. If it's all innocent, he should be happy to share his experiences in Austin with you.
2007-11-14 10:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by agrocks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you are able to access his myspace account then he isn't worried about hiding anything from you so you should ask him about it. However, my personal feeling is that if either of you has access to each others accounts there are obviously some trust issues between you. Ask yourself, who wanted the access to the other persons accounts? If you can't trust each other now and you've been BF and GF for a "longtime" how do you expect to trust each other in a long lasting relationship or lifetime marriage? And don't listen to all these other idiots telling you to log on as him and try to catch him in a trap. If its nothing and you do something stupid you'll be the one looking like an untrusting fool and only cause youself and your relationship problems.
2007-11-14 10:00:13 · answer #3 · answered by jinkacuzza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic. I can see where it might look suspicious, but it's obvious you've trusted your boyfriend for awhile so don't stop until you have concrete reasons to stop trusting him.
Maybe she is a girl he met in Austin while he was there. He did go to a show, right? Maybe they met at the show, just clicked, and wanted to start a friendship. It was a photo comment, so maybe it was something innocent.
The best thing to do is ask him who she is, and what he posted as a comment. You know him well enough to know if he's lying. Tell him your concerns. See how things go from there. Don't panic or jump to conclusions until you have more information.
2007-11-14 13:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by Nonny0928 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While asking him about it is a good idea, you have to consider how much you trust him. If you ask him he may lie to you or feel you don't trust him if there really is nothing between them and it would seem like you get jealous easily and guys don't like that. I personally would add the other girl on myspace because the comment doesn't make it seem like they are just friends or just want to be friends. You should try to find the comment he left and decide whether or not it's bad enough to confront him. I hope this helps.
2007-11-14 09:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by Kaitlyn S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to give you any answers because I don't think that serves you because what I think may lead you astray. I think ultimately you have to ask yourself, "Do I trust this person?"
However, it looks like you're having a crisis of trust, so I think the only thing you can do is ask about the girl. I appreciate the difficulty of asking and the "crappyness" of such a simple answer but ultimately there needs to be a resolution to this, either way.
Use "I" statements, be honest, don't expect him to be understanding of the question (i.e. don't expect him to be "oh, it's cool that you asked this question"). I think the last part is key because he might not be very happy about that question, but in my opinion, regardless of how he reacts, YOU need to know what's up.
Right?
My two cents, take it or leave it... Good Luck!
2007-11-14 10:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by andrewyalee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree you should ask him before getting all crazy and invading his privacy. Even tho he is your man he is stll a person with a right to privacy. You also have to have some trust and faith in him and your relationship, I am not saying be an idiot wearing blinders and living with your head in the clouds , I am saying that just because a person goes out to eat or to a show or talks on the phone or whatever with a member of the opposite sex does not necessarily mean they engaged in hot wild sex or that they ever even intend to. I have many platonic relationships with men more so then women and I hate when they or I have someone in our lives who assume that we have a sexual relationship merely because he is a man and I am a woman. To me that is implying that I am some type of whore who doesn't mind being second to them! I have yet to meet the woman that I feel is worthy of me playing second to or a man that I would cheapen myself for and be his secret!
If your man is cheating on you believe me you will find out soon enough...Everything done in the dark always comes to the light. So unless you have other reasons for your suspicions my advice is not to sweat it. Why borrow stress and hurt feelings from an unknown source? If you were happy before reading his myspace page then stay happy. Trust him to be honest ... and if later it comes out that he WAS cheating ..Hunt his cheating *** down and skin him like the slimey snake that he is!!!
Good Luck
2007-11-14 10:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by jrzyprnces 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask him and THEN start worrying and not the other way around. If you're really looking for the "adult" way to handle it, it's not asking a bunch of strangers what to do, it would be to ask him....talk to him and find out what's going on. If you don't feel satisfied by his answer, just keep an open eye but also and open mind. Your head will know what's right...will your heart listen to the advice? That's the big question.
2007-11-14 10:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by L R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't ever get upset with "the other woman". You never know what your boyfriend said to her about you, or if he even told her he was in a relationship.Now, what you can do is just ask your boyfriend about the young lady on his myspace page. Don't get crazy or cocky, just see what's up. Do you trust that he's gonna tell you the truth? If he's evasive, how are you going to respond? Does he get "crazy" if YOU meet new guys? Only you know what your relationship is like with your boyfriend. Try to check his phone if you're that curious. It's up to you to use your intuition about this situation. Just be open and honest and be willing to accept and deal with whatever it is he tells you. From there, you'll know how to handle your business. Good luck.
2007-11-14 10:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by lissa w 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may just be over reacting it could be just someone he met or knew and they just caught up together on myspace. Don't over react to this just keep an open eye on it. If you do over react he might too. It really seems like a harmless comment though. If you feel you do need to say something be very casual about it and dont get upset and emotional. We as women sometimes make more of little stupid things than we need to. Good Luck but it sounds like you are fine
2007-11-14 09:57:14 · answer #10 · answered by donna_marie226 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋