sex in a marriage?

Question

I don't know what is wrong with me. I am in my twenties and married but I don't want to have sex. I know that he does and he doesn't like us not doing anything but I need to know what I can do to get back into sex to where I want it again. Why is this happening? I don' t want to ruin my marriage because of it.

fuzzygi: I also keep him satsified. At least one of us is getting satisfied. lol. hope it gets better for you. Thanks.

we have been married seven yrs.

Im sorry we have children. It is hard to get any quality time. I think ppl know how that is. lol.

Answer 1

I'm in the same boat. He knows and so I at least keep him satisfied until hopefully it comes back some day. P.S. I felt so bad he had to go off hunting w/o getting any this morning. Bad Wife.(me)

Answer 2

I recommend finding ways to be closer to your husband. Taking time to be intimate without having sex. Many times we think sex has to with the physical when it actually has to do with the mental. You are not feeling close to your husband and that is the problem. You two need to turn off the tv, cell phone, ipod, and just be close for an entire day where it is just the two of you. I suggest not planning activities that will occupy your minds away from each other. No distractions. You need to actually just be together. You will get bored and think it's stupid but trust me the longer you go without anything else to do, the more you will begin to talk and open up. You may think you have nothing to say to someone you spend everyday with. Trust me, you will. Just be patient and give it time. I suggest using Saturday or Sunday to do this. In time, you will reconnect and open up. You'll feel closer and eventually it will no longer be a problem.

Answer 3

Well, there's all sorts of things that could be happening to you, physically or psychologically. Most people would suggest you go to a doctor, and I'm close to suggesting that except that I think doctors are never helpful. They will probably just try to put you on some sort of viagra for women that will cause you to become fat and get acne and feel way too horny all the time.
I would suggest talking openly and honestly with your husband about this, especially if you think this is a psychological issue. You can explore together whether or not he's meeting your needs, fufilling your fantasies, etc. But there may be nothing you can do to save your marriage if you're just not feeling it with him anymore, but you DO feel it when you think about other people.
Good luck. Go ahead and try the doctor if you think it's physical, but beware of their complete apathy.

Answer 4

ok first of all if ur husbend loves u he wont let not having sex runin ur marriage. nor will he go else where.
as for the sex part just have a nice dinner , try something new that u havent tried before as in sex. just set a nice mood .
or u can go to a doctor an get advice there as to what to do or if u can take some meds for this.
good luck hope very thing works out for u

Answer 5

You're broken go get fixed...just kidding. >8P

This is very common. The guy tends to lean more towards sex as a means of being intimate and the woman tries to find "other ways" to be intimate. Try to compromise for both. Maybe he can take you to a dance hall or to a movie you enjoy. Maybe to a nice dinner. However, maybe on special dates, Valentine's, your anniversary, his birthday, your birthday, mother's day, father's day, Thanksgiving, Christmas(if you celebrate it), New Years. You could even just plan that every holiday you will have sex. Of course if you want more or less then it's up to the both of you. Instead of having it all your way or him having it all his way find a middle ground where you both have sex but sex not being the only way to be in love with each other.

Answer 6

Your marriage should be based on more than just being good in bed, so I wouldn't worry about "ruining your marriage" because you've been out of it for a while.

Try doing something that you think would make you feel sexy. Try anything you like, but if it doesn't work and you still are worried, then have sex anyway to ease your worry about your marriage and chalk it up to taking one for the team.

Answer 7

My wife and I have 3 kids and find it very difficult to make time for sex. We average about 3 times a month and I initiate it most of the time. I try to be patient with her but its hard. I hope in the near future that she can get her sex drive back like it was before marriage.

Answer 8

That is a normal part of marriage, so you have to sit and think what there is about sex you don't want to deal with. If you need to go to a Dr. and explain what is happening, and they will be able to help you. It could be many reasons, and at your age sex should mean something. I hope you go get some help.

Answer 9

A lot of people will say that if you are in love then sex shouldn't matter. Hellooo, it isn't the main thing but it will matter, especially for a young couple. First off, going to a doctor should be done second. Go see a marriage/relationship councilor. Then you see a doctor if things aren't right.

Answer 10

It is common for people both men and women to lose interest in sex. There are several things you can do to help, concentrate on communication and other forms of intimacy, snuggling, massage, etc. who knows they might even lead to the sex he is looking for. There are also products you can purchase and medications you can take although I strongly recommend against any medication except as an absolute last resort. One great product to try though is Nympho Niagra from Pure Romance. Good luck to you!