One of my roommates has done something that has really hurt and pissed me off. Its very petty but it is in they way she did it. It makes her look very fake and dishonest. Now, I live with her so I have to let it go. But every time I see her it comes back. I don’t want to talk it out because it is petty and it can easily be forgotten but at the same time I can’t help that it has hurt me so much.
2007-11-14 09:18:33 · 8 answers · asked by Indgrid 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Grudges turn into anger and anger turn into hate. Pray and ask God to remove the grudge. He will. But in the mean time, pray. Evidently it is not petty b/c you are hurt. God is the only one that can help you. God Bless
2007-11-14 09:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother always said don't hold a grudge longer than the hurt that was caused you. In this case, since the hurt is apparently emotional, the grudge IS the hurt. Or what's holding the hurt in you.
Did she apologize, or does she not realize that she hurt you? Or does she realize but still did not apologize? If she did apologize and you accepted it, then you need to speak sternly to yourself about whether or not your acceptance was dishonest. If she does not realize that what she did hurt you (and don't assume it was "obvious" because what is obvious to you may not be to her), then pick a time when she's not on her way out the door and say, "You know, I feel you owe me an apology." If she doesn't know what you're talking about, tell her. Chances are she will apologize.
But you cannot reasonably be expected to forgive someone who does not apologize. In that case, you may want to discuss whether or not it is worthwhile continuing to live with her. Even in a dorm with assigned rooms, you can ask the dorm counselor if it's possible to switch rooms. No need to go into precise details with the counselor; just say you have not received an apology, and you do not feel comfortable living with someone like that.
Good luck! Letting go may be the best thing for you, but not at the cost of accepting a role as victim.
2007-11-14 10:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by auntb93 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not the action that matters it is how you feel valued by the other person. If your feelings are hurt and the other person doesn't basically care. That is what creates the grudge not the actual so called petty thing that they did. It is hard to forgive someone who doesn't validate your hurt feelings.
2007-11-14 09:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by daisyduck4007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it hurts & bother u that much, then u have 2 talk about it w/h her 2 get it out of ur system, if u dont, & keep on keeping in inside of u, u never gonna let it go... if she is ur friend, then she'll understand, if she doesnt, then she's not...
it's not petty if u want 2 worked something out. it's petty when u do stuff that u thinks it'll bother some 1 & forgets about it...
GOOD LUCK!! :)
2007-11-14 09:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by GuitarChik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself this question "will it matter in a year from now?" if it doesnt matter, just forget about it, it's not that big of a deal. if it will matter, you need to talk to her about it, if you dont, things could get ugly really quick.
2007-11-14 09:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by sketches88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) Breathe in - Breathe out
2.) Talk to someone, your BF
2007-11-14 09:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by sumting101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always made me feel better to take their toothbrush and rub it on the soap, then rub it into the brush
2007-11-14 09:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk it out
2007-11-14 09:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by honey + biscuit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋