My eleven yr old stepdaughter is violent and will not listen she cusses me and has even punched me I have tried everything and so has her father. Well the other day she yelled at me and called me a freaking liar when I busted her in a lie. I slapped her across the cheek there was no mark and I didn't slap her hard she decided to report me to DCF and the case worker said what I did wasnt excessive or abuse but that it isnt legal and I can only spank her on the butt with my hand. She told my step daughter this and now she really wont listen. So my question is this is the case worker wrong because I beleive she is Ive heard its not illegal as long as you dont cause serious injury or leave a mark.
2007-11-14 08:52:10 · 16 answers · asked by spasticmegami 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Put her rump out if she thinks she is grown, pitch her a tent in the back yard.
2007-11-14 09:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by girleyworley 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Disciplining a child is not illegal; abuse is. Beating her with a switch, or a strip of leather might be borderline. Leaving marks or physical injury is definitely over the top. But a simple whack on the butt does a world of good. Why do you think that the gods put all that padding back there, anyway?
A slap on the cheek is probably not a good idea (as it is easy to misjudge and end up knocking out a tooth or breaking the jaw), but I have applied a sharp slap on the back of the hand and had good results.
2007-11-14 17:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by whtknt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Slapping is different from a spank in that it's considered "violent" whereas a spank is considered disciplinary.
Sounds like what's going on with your stepdaughter isn't something that can be "fixed" with physical abuse, and you guys need to get to a counselor to figure out what the problem is at home. Your daughter being abusive verbally and you responding physically is NOT normal.
All I see the Section 8 residents outside my apartment do is yell at and slap their kids...it's a very "white trash" thing to do, and it teaches kids that problems can be solved by yelling/slapping (I see the same girls the moms yell at and slap say and do the same things to their younger siblings). You're basically telling your daughter that if she doesn't like what's coming out of someone's mouth, a slap is OK to fix the problem. It's a simplistic and not very intelligent approach to child-rearing, no matter how pissed off the kid gets you.
2007-11-14 17:01:15 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Turn her over your knee and spank her hard! You must be consistent ! She must know there are consequences to her misbehavior. When I spanked my son I first sent him to his room .This way I had a little cool down period and him knowing he was going to get spanked was almost as as good as the spanking itself. You should only have to do this 3 or 4 times . However if it's not working and they are still out of control find other ways of punishing her IE Grounding but again consistency is key. You also might remind her of what happens if she decides to turn you in again They will take her away.
2007-11-14 17:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Laws change by State but what the DCF worker said is pretty much the accepted method. You can't believe everything told to you even by law enforcement. I was told to "whip my 15 year olds @ss" by a Sheriffs Deputy for doing the same as your step-daughter but got arrested for pushing him. Case got dismissed but that didn't bring back the 5 hours I spent locked up and having to post bond. I ended up contacting Juvenile Intake to 'get his attention". He got to spend 3 days in lock-up.
2007-11-14 17:05:07 · answer #5 · answered by sensible_man 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When I was growing up, I was more afraid of getting what my dad called a "Zest sandwich," than a spanking across my butt. I can recall those sandwiches vividly to this day. A spanking was nothing, but the sandwiches left a real bad taste in my mouth.
2007-11-14 17:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DCF caseworkers are the boss these days. What they say goes and it's best not to take any chances.
I know what you're going through; I've been in trouble with DCF too. You're life is HELL if they open a case on you, so please be careful.
2007-11-14 18:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by Brigid O' Somebody 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the state. In NJ, the standard is whether you use an object. But you should believe (and abide by) what your case worker told you about the law in your state.
2007-11-14 17:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by nycityboy1234 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do what the case worker said and slap her on the butt- HARD, so she will listen.
2007-11-14 16:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by -NOBAMA- 3 · 4⤊ 3⤋
maybe your child needs help? take her to see a psychologist or some kind of therapist... there shouldbe ways to solve her behavioral problems without violence.
2007-11-14 17:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anna 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋