She included everyone but me. And my husband (her son) he was in Iraq when she got married though. I have been her daughter in law for 8 years. Her daughter and step daughter were brides maids, her son's were grooms men, my son was the ring bearer and another little girl was flower girl. Candle lighters were her son's friend and her son's girlfriend of just a few weeks. She told me she made her son's new girlfriend a candle lighter cause she would be upset if she was not included. She totally left me out of EVERYTHING! She didn't even ask me to be in any of her wedding pictures. Why would she do this?
2007-11-14 07:53:33 · 16 answers · asked by honeybear 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is already home from Iraq. The wedding was last year. I never asked her why because if it is because she doesn't like me for some reason I don't want her to know it upset me. That might make her happy.
2007-11-14 08:04:14 · update #1
It's not because of being married cause her daughter was married and pregnant at the time.
2007-11-14 08:08:04 · update #2
I even went to the trouble of taking 60+ very nice wedding photos for her (even after being left out) but when I gave them to her she acted like she didn't even want them.
2007-11-14 08:15:56 · update #3
thank the gods that you didn't have to buy a bridesmaid dress, shoes, etc for this woman who didn't consider you in the first place.
Why would you want to waste money on someone that doesn't make an effort to treat you like part of the family?
Screw her, and I hope you took advantage of the reception's food and beverage!
2007-11-14 08:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by qwerty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try not to take this personally. It was, after all, your mother-in-law's wedding, not yours. Only so many people can be in the wedding party, and the size of the wedding party is probably also limited due to financial considerations.
You don't mention what type of relationship you have had with your mother-in-law for the past 8 years. Has it been good? If so, she probably felt you were secure enough to not "need" to be included.
Also, until you ask her, you really won't ever know the answer. Try saying something like this:
"I know I should've mentioned this sooner, but I really wanted to be a part of your wedding and I'm hurt that I wasn't included. I was wondering, was there some reason you didn't include me? I realize it was your wedding and your choice, but I would like to get this out in the open so my hurt at being left out doesn't fester and possibly damage our relationship. I love you. Have I hurt or offended you in some way? If so, please tell me so that I can make ammends."
Best of luck to you, I hope this helps. :-)
2007-11-14 16:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by kyeri y 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There woman out there in this world that just try to cause trouble I would go to my grave before I would let her know that bothered me. Its what she wants. It doesnt matter the reason because she must get some kind of kick out of it. Just keep doing what is right and stay away from her as much as possible. And I promise you she will pick on someone else.
2007-11-14 16:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by Cowgirl lost seahorse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In law problems are to be fixed and directed by their son/daughter, not you.
Your husband (her son) needs to address this and fix it. So there's no fighting and such or let it get outta hand.
If your husband had a problem with your parents, it would be your job to be the mediator and fix it .. this is no different for your husband.
Hopefully he feels the same .. good luck!
2007-11-14 16:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She obviously, didn't feel close enough to you to include you or felt awkward because he son wasn't there. I realize that there are people who ask people to participate in their wedding out of obligation, but it's obvious that she didn't feel like that. Plus, since her own son wasn't there, I think it would be extremely awkward for her to have you participate in some way. Move on.
2007-11-14 22:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh how some some people's actions hurt us. I don't think you are ever going to find an answer to this. Whether it was a thoughless or calculated action who knows, but you are only going to wear yourself down trying to come to terms with it. Talk to your husband about it let him know how it is making you feel, he may be able to pull his Mum into line, but you do need try and put it behind you and move on.
2007-11-14 16:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by N L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does not sound like you have the best relationship with your mother in law but I would say ..... ASK HER WHY .... Asking her is the only way to know the real reason.
2007-11-14 16:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by Holly C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OOps sorry I didn't read your details. She left you out because you're married. Traditional people don't ask marrieds to be bridesmaids. Unless they're married with kids too and then it's just downright mean.
2007-11-14 16:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by hmm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your question is too little too late, you should have asked her was there anything you could do, but now you know she does not care for you at all so be the best spouse you can be and it is her loss.
2007-11-14 16:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by MrsMagee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care?
You got all the party and no hassle of the wedding. Consider yourself lucky.
You could have just told her how you felt instead of choosing not to, and then whining about it later.
2007-11-14 15:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋