me and my wife dont spend any real time together and it's strained our relationship, all we do is work. i work 2 jobs apprx. 70 hrs a week, we have a 1 1/2 son, she is a teacher. i know i work too may hours but every time i'm home and she's home she's on the phone, which shows me that she's found other things to occupy her time, why should i feel that i have to "be there" if she already has things going on when we're in the same house toghether?
2007-11-14 07:34:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe she was just so used to doing things for herself because you weren't there for her. She got used to filling in her time some other way. Now when you decide you have a few minutes for her, she should drop everything, and be there for you.
I know what she feels like. My husband is so busy being busy that he expects me to drop everything when he wants some attention, even if I'm cooking, or dashing out the door for the kids. But when there's time to be together, he's off doing whatever he wants.
Make time that's mutually available. Make time for romance. Plan ahead. TALK.
2007-11-14 07:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLAN TO DO THINGS TOGETHER...this has completely f'd up my marriage. Same sort of deal, but we both have other issues as well. Please for the sake of your kid, plan to do something together, one week, a day for just her to unwind,no kid no husband, and a day for you, no kid no husband. Adhere to it. You better, and i mean you better find the commonalities between you or rekindle the old ones, besides the kids, and make them a priority. Do things with your son together, and dont make excuses, and justify your son as to the reason it wont work. STRICTLY SPEAKING FROM WHAT HAS JUST CAUSED MY WIFE TO SEPARATE FROM ME....take it from my now obvious mistake. Put it on a calendar, i wish i could go back and do that. My son will be paying the price if she doesnt return, and that isnt good.
2007-11-15 03:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by blamedforallwrongs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
waaa! do you hear yourself whining? she has found things to occupy her time BECAUSE you aren't there! you should be thankful that the thing she found isn't another man. you need to remind yourself what is more important to you. your wife and family or having to work 70 hours a week. when you come home, tell her that you are there to help her or just be there with her...she needs to be aware that you are making an effort, otherwise she will continue to do her own thing. which is ok, but, you 2 need to focus on each other...
2007-11-14 15:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife and tell her you would like to spend more time with her but do not tell her you want her off the phone that will just make matters worse. Try planning date nights at least 2 times a month without kids. Give her lots of attention outside of the bedroom. Good luck.
2007-11-14 15:41:29 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The most successful couples are the ones who are able to adapt to the fact that crazy work days, the stress of life, and the daily grind of reality will become a stronger force than all-night talks under the stars. The next time she's on the phone. Go & get a post-it. Write I love you on it. Give it to her & just walk away. Don't expect her to always know how you are feeling, she can't read your mind.
2007-11-14 15:38:18 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You aren't a victim first off. Expressing your desire to spend some time together would be the healthy thing to do. Plan a date, even if its a day out with the babe. Just get some time together.
2007-11-14 15:39:20 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you asking us this and not her? Are you afraid of talking with her about this?
The short answer is you get over yourself and your selfish motives and you stay together through the bad times. That what a marriage is.
Don't worry. the good times will return. Nothing lasts forever, even bad times.
Good luck.
2007-11-14 15:40:08 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good thing you spawned a kid. Jobs are a choice. Get better ones.
2007-11-14 15:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her how you feel about her being on the phone when you have such little time together.
2007-11-14 15:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a voice, use it.
You have a heart, use it.
You have a mind, use it.
You are a big boy, do it!
2007-11-14 16:09:12 · answer #10 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋