so you discover, after a decade of marriage and 3 kids that you never?

Question

EVER get from your spouse the stimulating conversation, the continual emotional or the sexual satisfaction (because of your emotional detachment to the said situation).....what is your gut reaction? we have already been "trying" to fix it....emliminating outside influence, substance, attempted counseling, all the goodies. leave or stay?

ok...realize that all you were reaching out for in others was...what you needed in him??

Answer 1

If you have done all that and nothing worked, then there is one more option which you have not attempted. Humble yourselves to each other and be each others helpers. You have done all the mechanical things that marriage requires but you have not truly submitted to each other.
Maybe it is time you try it and see if I am right.

Answer 2

Why are you asking urself (and others) this question now? What made you get married to this person? Maybe u did fall in love with someone else and is now seeing how empty your marriage has been? I think if you both respect eachother, STAY together. You have kids and when adults divorce... they are divorcing the kids from a happier life. If it gets out of hand, then wait 10 more years and leave. That way the kids are older and it will not effect them as much. Good LUck!

Answer 3

Everybody gets in a rut. It helps if both partners start to learn and love again like they use to. Did you forget to do those special things you once did to your spouse. Have you gave it your best shot in telling this person how much they mean to you? Try bringing those old feelings back and they should be doing the same. Start out by telling your spouse you want to start all over again. Give love letters do special things for one another if this doesn't work then divorce.

Answer 4

Stay - and perhaps alter your perspective on things - 3 HEALTHY kids, family, occasional (rather than continual) sexual and emotional satisfaction which then become special, a roof over your heads, someone to grow old with, etc.

Answer 5

You stay. You made a vow and should keep it.

If your spouse is cheating or abusive, then I would say leave. If it's more just that you don't think you fit together, then that's something that you continue to work on.

Basically - you're stuck. I don't mean that in a bad way, but people shirk their responsibilities all too often. You made a promise - keep it.

Answer 6

You say all the reasons, but what is your part in this?!

We can't say stay or go as we really don't know all to make a fair statement.

Be mature and think of what affect it will have if you go .. the kids being raised in 2 homes .. the emotional stuff you personally will do to them .. you can boo me all you want for that, but statistics show in my favor ... think about it.

Answer 7

You only do it once and you took that vow, so you can't back out now, talk to your spouse , It's very true,communication is the key, I learned that the hard way, my cousin helped me with that. If you don't address the problem the situation will never change. (don't hold anything back!)

Answer 8

You never got what your wanted from your spouse, yet your spawned three kids and stayed 10 years? I think we've found the source of the problem.

Answer 9

Well, it took you 10 years to figure this out. Maybe in another 10 years you'll realize how wrong you are.
"trying" to fix it means you're not really. That's what I'd work on if I were you!
I'd stay.

Answer 10

I say that there are 3 and only 3 real reasons for divorce:

Abuse
Adultery
Addiction

Everything else can be worked out. If there are more that one of the "A's" in your marriage, you should seriously consider leaving.