I am over retirement age but work 30hrs a week 'cos I want to. My Partner is at home all day and during the last 3 years has yet to finish the bedroom, the bathroom, the shed lighting and wiring, the..... I could go on and on. Suffice it to say I am more than a little p....., peeved about this!
I have offered to help but he says No, he will do it tomorrow and never does. What can I do?
2007-11-14 07:30:42 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
UKaction??man? I would hate to be married to you! LOL (lump of lard)
2007-11-14 07:37:35 · update #1
Harley Lady? as in bikes? this is half the problem. He used to race bikes, years ago and now, aged 60, he has just bought 2 old bikes. He hasn't ridden for about 30 years and its all gone to his head!
2007-11-15 01:42:57 · update #2
he is a procrastinator..did you know it when you hooked up w/him? Also he may have depression and not shared it with you in conversation. There are many reasons he has not accomplish these tasks other than squandering his time. Don't be too hard on him. It takes folks different time frames to settle into a new way of live. Many of us have a hard time motivating ourselves on those type chores after having been well paid for other type jobs.
Don't shame him by just starting the jobs. Even though he turned you down on and off day grab a couple of tools and say Hon let's get on this project. If you just bring him coffee or a beer depending on his wants...and stand near him handing tools and speaking words of praise and compliment. Don't act stupid but ask intelligent questions so he has the opportunity to explain how things work. Doesn't know if you remember your science and know these facts he shares...build a working relationship that makes spending the time to get things doing chores becomes a fun experience.
2007-11-14 08:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband is disabled so I do all the maintenance around the house and all the cleaning. I have so many projects half done it's not funny. It seems that when I'm in the mood to work on something, something comes up to drag me off in another direction. What usually gets me to finish a project is when it turns into a need to finish or else kinda thing.
Example- I still haven't cleaned the chimney for the wood stove and brought in firewood. Well, we are under a winter storm warning for tomorrow night-so guess what I'll be doing tomorrow! And that's only because it's such a drag picking thru snow for firewood!
2007-11-14 09:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by judy b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of the things that need to be done. Then under each one, list the little things that that project needs. Sometimes if a project is big, I use a piece of paper for each project.
e.g. Paint the bathroom
Preprep: Pick out a color
Parts:
If I don't have them, buy the paint, brushes, thinner, , etc.
How much time do I need to finish the job?
Time:
Can I start it now and finish it later?
When?
A lot of projects always seem overwhelming, so if you break it down into smaller ones, it becomes easier. You could even sit down and start a list together. You could break the workload apart. "I'll pick out the color and get the parts and we can start on it together on Saturday."
OR... "As soon as we get the shed lighting fixed, I can start getting the boxes in there organized.
Don't put it all on him. If you're partners, act like it. DO IT TOGETHER.
Good luck
P
2007-11-14 08:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband. He's 65. He still has to finish a closet door that ran off the track. He started that in August. Cleaning up the back yard. Raking the leaves. Cleaning the blinds. Washing the windows. To say nothing of replacing the carpet. He doesn't want to spend his weekends doing them and he works 12 hours a day. By the time he gets home at night, he's too tired. I have the same problem as you. Sometimes I feel like hiring a handyman, just to get the jobs done that need doing. By the time he gets around to doing these jobs, he'll be 99 and too old to do them. I'd be happy to help him, but he never seems to want me to.
2007-11-14 07:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First I made the same mistake you made. I gave my contractor to much money up front and than couldn't get him back to finish the job I ended up hiring someone Else. What you need to do is call your town hall and ask for the building inspectors office. Tell him what happen he can see if there was a permit issued for the work he can also run your contractors license and see if there are other completes about him. If you do not have a permit for the work taking him to court in very hard (talk to your better business burro) Ask your building inspector what your options are at this point.
2016-03-14 13:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to put in a reservation for you to come to my house on your next day off! I need the help.
I have sooooooo many things that I'm trying to finish, downsizing again, you know. I hope this will be the last time I have to do it, but I know better.
As for the answer to your last question, the only thing that you can do is help him to do it. Shaming him into it doesn't help. If there were just some way we could encourage without seeming like a nag. If you find a way, e-mail me, I'd love to know what it is.
2007-11-14 07:58:25 · answer #6 · answered by Cranky 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This might work. Make a list
of everything that needs doing. Lay it on a table where he can see it.
Call each company that handles these job types and
tell them you need an estimate of repairs.
Make appointments when
your other half is at home.
Get yourself dolled up and wait for the man to arrive.
Show the repairman exactly
what you want and ask for
a written estimate. then bat
your eyelashes and get the
repairman in tight corners,
and generally act like you're
coming on to him.
Of course he will never give
you an estimate, but your other half will think all these
men will be at his house and
you will be happy to see them.
2007-11-14 12:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always get side tracked, there is always so much to do! I call them Nit-Noys... you can never catch up with everything you need to do to keep a clean house... to top that off we have an acre yard... And yes we have been doing the remodeling thing, pay as you go, so there is always a mess somewhere... Having the kitchen spread out between the living room and the sink in the bathroom was a real hoot! We just keep plugging along and things get ticked off the list as fast as we can get them done or afford them... two years now... there are a lot of nit-noys left to do... always, and everywhere!
Good luck getting things done... I live in nit-noyville.... LOL
2007-11-14 09:50:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
D I Y means do it your self, unfortunately that's what you have to do when you want something done, my first boyfriend was great at D I Y which made me think all men could do things around the house, how wrong and stupid was I, My current partner who I love loads trys and trys but no job is ever completed, and he gets real wound up if I pay someone to complete the job, it is not worth having the argument, either finish it yourself or pay someone else, good luck cos tomorrow never comes xxxxxxxxx
2007-11-14 14:02:53 · answer #9 · answered by tricia l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yikes! I could say learn to live with it, but maybe slip away a few dollars here and there until you can hire a neighbor or handyman and have him come in and finish one project at a time. Either your partner will be embarrassed after the first one and get moving, or not.
I'd be a bit ticked off as well, though I have plenty of them to start and finish! Good luck!
2007-11-14 07:35:47 · answer #10 · answered by Grace 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋